Comparing Decades, The 1960s vs. The 1980s
Just the other day, while teaching a rambunctious group of 4th graders, I started to sing a classic song from the Eighties. Joshua, our resident musical genius, raised his hand. "What are you humming Mr. Schilke?"
"To Shy shy, hush hush I do I," I sang out.
"To shy a what?" Joshua asked.
"It's a song by Kajagoogoo," I said.
"Kajagoogoo! Is he related to Barney?" Joshua asked.
"No, it's a group, a music group from the Eighties."
"You were alive in the Eighties!"
"Of course I was. It was the best decade of the Twentieth Century.
"Get out," Joshua said. "My Grandpa told me that the Sixties was the best decade."
"Your Gramps is wrong."
"Whatever," Joshua laughed. "All it means to me is that both of you are old."
"Ha, ha... now get back to work."
On the ride home that night I reflected on the idiocy of Joshua's statements. 'The Sixties were better than the Eighties'. "Yah right, and pink elephants are flying over this car right now," I mumbled to myself. I was so pumped up that I pulled over, grabbed a pad of paper out of my duffel bag and wrote down five reasons why the Eighties were better than the Sixties.
During the Sixties three presidents occupied the White House: JFK, Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon. In the Eighties there were only two presidents, Reagan and Bush. Both Kennedy and Reagan were shot, but sadly only Reagan survived. Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act, Bush said 'Read my lips no new taxes... and proceeded to raise taxes and Nixon...well... he was a crook. Deciding which of the five presidents was the best proved difficult. I needed a tie breaker. Usually I use rock, paper and scissor but this time I used something different. First Ladies.
Using First Ladies as a tie breaker left me with a fine group of women: Jackie Kennedy, Lady Bird Johnson, Pat Nixon, Nancy Reagan and Barbara Bush. All of these smart and opinionated women were worthy occupants of the White House, but I decided to make my choice based upon one critical factor. Looks. After a careful and thoughtful evaluation of the evidence I came to a decision. To be honest, the winner was not difficult to choose; it was obvious. When it came to ravenous, over the top, eye popping beauty, there could be only one. Nancy Reagan.
Live Aid "Queen"
Woodstock - Janis Joplin "Try"
The Sixties and the Eighties each had their share of musical high notes. Woodstock is remembered as the defining musical festival of the Sixties while Live Aid, a musical benefit for Africa, took it's rightful place as the best of Eighties. The music of Woodstock was sublime, raw and trend setting while the music of Live Aid represented the collective works of an eclectic group of performers. Which was better? I have no clue, ask a musician. What I do know is that Live Aid had a point. Woodstock... I'm not sure what that was all about. No one does. Therefore I have to rule in favor of Live Aid.
Eighties win again
Hippies vs. Yuppies
In the Sixties you had hippies and in the Eighties you had yuppies. Which group was better? Don't quite know. You see, it's all kind of confusing. Most of the self absorbed "Make love not war" hippies turned into self absorbed "Make money not war" yuppies. Therefore, since most hippies turned into yuppies, it must be better to be a yuppy.
The Mullet Vs. Long Hippy Hair
In the Sixties it was long hair and in the Eighties it was the mullet. Check out the pictures to the right.
Can there be any doubt which hair style will attract women? If I still had hair, I would be sporting a mullet.
Final Scene "Karate Kid"
Movies: Karate Kid vs. The Graduate
In the 1960s "The Graduate" starring Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft, chronicled the tumultuous life of a recent college graduate looking for love and lust in the dynamic duo of Mrs. Robinson and her daughter. This film, a highly acclaimed piece of art, is considered to be nothing short of brilliant. I thought it was silly. An older woman hooking up with a man, who is courting her daughter, looks a whole lot like Gerry Springer to me. Dress it all up with some interesting cinematic angles, sharp dialogue and fine acting and voila, you get a piece of art. Nevertheless, it didn't work for me.
The Karate Kid, on the other hand, is, by all accounts, a silly Eighties movie. A pubescent teenage boy kicks the crap out of a bunch of arrogant bullies dressed up as martial arts experts. With the help of an aging mentor, the venerable Mr. Miyagi, Ralph Macchio (Danielson) learns everything there is to know about Karate by painting Mr. Miyagi's fence. It all ends with a brilliant one-foot knockout of Ralphy's tormentor.
Dustin Hoffman didn't kick the crap out of his rival. He pounded on some glass, broke up a marriage and jumped on a bus with someone else's bride. That's not inspiring, that's depressing. I prefer the Karate Kid version. Kick the snot out of your rival, then take the girl.
Once more.... Eighties win.
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