Cottonwood The Killer. A Tree that Destroys Air Conditioners.
Read This Or The TERRORIST TREES WIN!
The Cottonwood Tree is a seemingly beautiful shade tree associated with beautiful, idyllic, but otherwise politically retarded places like. . . .Kaufman, Texas. I'm here to tell you, friends and neighbors, the Cottonwood Trees of North Texas and East Texas. . .um, even North East Texas have formed together as a militant and dangerous organization bent on destroying America. The Cottonwood trees hate us for our freedoms, but they seem to be taking it out on our good, patriotic, God Fearing, and altogether . . .Texas citizens' home air conditioning systems.
If I don't tell you good citizens about our patriotic responsibility as Texans, that we must band together, and seek out, and redrum, um, I mean - make our residential air conditioning systems safe for democracy - then clearly I am "with" the terrorist tree sharia - ness thingy.
A Beautiful Cottonwood Tree.
Basically, You Are Either With US or You Are With The Terrorist TREES!
Recently here on Hubpages.com we were made aware that there are certain . . .ahem, "Zoologist" that this nation is harboring that must be dedraobretaw, um, I mean - tortured into giving up the conspiracy of traitors that thought that Tigers should only consume soy and otherwise fake meat substitutes as their . . .ahem, "diet." I tell you, patriots, that if Tigers are fed soy, then the terrorist win.
(I'm not kidding at all here - which idiot. . .ahem, "scientist" decided that tigers in zoos should NOT be fed meat? I may not be a smaaaaart man, but I know what stupid is.)
Recently on Faux News, Rupert Poptart authorized Glenn Schmuckkk to air a program that authorized total violations of the rights of Cottonwood trees, and all trees associated with Cottonwood trees' civil liberties, civil rights, Bill Of Tree's Rights, and United Trees Constitutional protections concerning Tree's PRIVACY.
It's been said even on the Bill Oh Really? show that the only good Cottonwood Tree is a dead Cottonwood Tree; really, I mean.
A Typical Condenser
A Cottonwood Tree.
Purchase An Air Conditioner on Amazon.com!
I'm Not Even Joking. . . .Except About Cottonwood Trees. . .I mean, Um. . .Nevermind.
The Cottonwood Tree, if not absolutely dangerous to the personal finances of persons who should be out making the world safe for learsI and dilhcshtoR profits - are lethal to a redneck's residential air conditioning system. No joke about it, the little "cotton" from those trees gets inside your home's condenser, and destroys it.
"Eastern Cottonwood is a large, fast-growing tree found near water throughout the eastern half of Texas. The large deltoid leaves provide light shade, and move in the slightest breeze, creating a soothing, watery sound. The seeds have tiny cottony hairs attached which enable them to drift long distances in the wind toward your air conditioner"
The statement above is entirely accurate. It should have gone on to say, however, that if you've a Cottonwood Terrorist Tree In your Neighborhood - that it should be reported immediately to the department of terrorist homeland tree security, or outright destroyed.- but only if you love America and air conditioning. The thing is, those seeds with "cottony hairs" will certainly find your air conditioner's condenser, and before long they will be sucked up all along the insides of it's coil, insulating it, and completely blocking the flow of air that it requires to condense the refrigerant inside of it. The end result of this is that if your air conditioner can still cool at all, it will require huge amounts of electricity to do so, and have to run for far longer periods of time to satisfy the temperature that your thermostat is set to. Very likely, it won't EVER cycle off by satisfying your home's thermostat set point, and left alone, will destroy the compressor inside the condenser.
Cottonwood A/C Coil Clogs
Think about it for a moment… During the peak of cottonwood season, fuzzies are flying around your neighborhood. This is when they attack your air conditioner. No they don’t use magic, or contain some sort of chemical agent. Instead, they are sucked into your condenser coil, and the result is reduced air flow across the coil. This will first cause your air conditioner to loose some of its energy efficiency. Although this is a problem, losing a little efficiency will only cost you pennies, but the bigger problem of an over heated compressor can cost hundreds.
Picture this, its 100 degrees outside and your cottonwood seed packed coil can’t cool itself off. Do you see the problem here? Those cute little fuzzies we chase around as kids just burnt out your compressor! Now you have to call up " your choice of A/C company" for an emergency service call in the high heat of summer.
It's a situation worse than that though, replacing a compressor usually doesn't cost "hundreds," but over a thousand dollars, and with the Cottonwood tree still in place, the right fool could pay that sum again and again. Just as having a house full of dog or cat hairs will inevitably lead to the very expensive repair of having to remove and acid wash the indoor coil, and re "sweat" or welding the thing back in, checking for leaks, running a vacuum, and charging the system - the Cottonwood "cottony seed" terrorist attacks are a problem that just doesn't go away without the removal of the tree. God Bless Amerikkka.
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