Fun Facts about Global Worming
Global Worming Fun Facts
The Worldwide Disgusting Factor (WDF) remains elevated due to the proliferation of gross slimy worms. Dare we posit that any aspect of non-arthropod invertebrate creatures can possibly be considered 'fun'? Read on, if you dare.
Can we make a buck with worms?
Global worming provides possibilities for profitability. Numerous articles, blogs, tomes, and get-rich-quick pamphlets explain the business model for raising and selling fishing worms. Let us be clear; we do not suggest that worms may be remotely capable of actually fishing. They have no thumbs. Rather, the worms act as bait. Certainly this activity does not rank high on the worm fun-o-meter, but we all gotta go sometime.
Think Globally, Compost Locally
So sayeth the hungry worm.
Without ravenous red wigglers, compost heaps languish as stinky piles of last weeks chicken wings. Worms eat our garbage and make dirt. Don't think about how, please. It's a win-win scenario for all parties save Big Garbage. which experiences a decrease in curbside pickups along with a commensurate drop in profit.. As they say in the computer programming field; garbage in, garbage out.
Valentines Day Worms?
No no no. Heartworms are not little candies distributed on February 14th. Dirofilaria immitis infests doggies, taking up residence in the left ventricle. Heartworm cases have also been reported in ferrets (no big loss there), sea lions (better than getting clubbed, perhaps), and humans. Prevention may be achieved through chewable tablets administered on a prophylactic basis. Hide the pill in a dead herring; sea lions catch on to your tricks rather quickly.
Almost enough to make us quit trying?
It ain't easy making this stuff up; then along comes a real movie. "The Worm Eaters" chronicles the comings and goings of Herman Umgar, a club-footed German hermit (is there any other kind?) who has the ability to communicate with worms.
It's all fun and games until someone loses a segment
Our last stop on the Global Worming gravy train involves the lowly earthworm. The little buggers regenerate lost segments. While most of us stop looking at worms the same day we notice the opposite sex, famed wormologist G.E. Gates dedicated 20 years of his adult life to studying and chronicling the activities of Perionyx Excavatus E. Perr. as they spontaneously grew new guts. Peruse his lifes' work in the The Biological Bulletin.
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If you've made it this far, you evidently posses a high level of interest in global worming. Welcome to the club.