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Kansas 4th street home...once upon a time...now, no more
Kansas 4th street home...once upon a time...now, no more | Source

An easier time of life

Walking up to that familiar front door

Someone says; “You don’t live here anymore.”

I turn to see who spoke these words

But, act as if I haven’t heard

Behind me, not a soul is there

I venture forth, as on a dare

To enter where I lived before

A place of dreams, forevermore


The rooms are bare, but bright and gay

Sun shines through panes, welcoming the day

Hardwood floors, old claw foot bath,

Walls strongly built of plaster and lath

Crown molding graces elegant ceilings

Inspiring deference and respectful feelings

As if a parent, who once watched over me

Why did I leave? Why did I flee?

To a life that did not include you?





Oh, home, sweet home

Warm, inviting; once mine

From whence I roamed

The one I left behind

So many memories and faithful friend

To explore this life

To another end.

That does not include you.



When life turns cold and hard to bear

I find myself going back to where

Bewilderment was not the way

And little ones live to see another day

So many lives on my shoulders rest

I feel as if I’ve been put to the test


The choice was made to leave this place

I walked away in a rapid pace

But, fondly now, as I look back

And wonder what I thought I lacked

Which led to a life that did not include you.




I come to visit now and again

In bittersweet imagination

Passing back in time, magically

From present life to one once free



Last night, I came to you again

Last night, I visited an old friend

Surprised was I…and woke with a start

And fondly recalled the home of my heart

Why I always return to your front door

Will be a mystery

But, one I shall store

To bring forth when this life is unkind

To remember that gentler world of mine.





Innocence tends to soften the glare

Of those things in life which are unfair

I wish to wear those shoes again,

And tread where sorrow does not rule the wind

I cannot bear the way things are

And so, I journey away and far

To the place where happiness and ignorance reigned

Oh, to walk that primrose path again.




It was a different, simpler time

And when I bring these thoughts to mind

A brief sadness spreads over me

Because, I fear, I will never be

Allowed the life I had before

When, without a second thought

I walked out that door.


To a life that did not include you.



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Comments 27 comments

Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Kathy,

This was so beautiful. Your words were flowing like a beautiful melody of a familiar song..

Thank you for sharing,

Sunnie


Tanisha Adjo profile image

Tanisha Adjo 5 years ago from New York

beautiful


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 5 years ago from Oakley, CA

Very haunting and eloquent. Beautiful.


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

wonderful heatfelt poem. It's sounds as though you are doing great.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Congratulations on writing hub #100. This is a beautiful and nostalgic poem.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, this is beautiful, and I so totally understand. I dream of my mothers house, so many nights, especially when my day has been stressful or hard at work, or if I am feeling down for any reason, and then, I go to sleep and I am back in the warmth of my mums house. Lovely, cheers nell


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

I remember sitting in my old house. I began rembering how my grandkids used to play on the chimney. Looking out the back window and watching the birds feed in the backyard. Sometimes these memories are haunting, but I still like to reminisce about the past. Loved this...


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Sunnie, Tanisha, Lizzy, Writer, Flora, Nell and Augustine..I was feeling a bit melancholy and wistful and...out came this poem. Sometimes, we live there, in the arms of the distant past...where things did seem less complicated and our awareness was not quite as acute. Ah...ignorant bliss...sometimes; sometimes I wish....

Thank you all for the beautiful comments.

Flora..yes, 100 hubs...surprising and amazing and WOw! I'm stoked!!

Kathy


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Oh Kathy, This is so beautiful. I can relate. Perhaps i'm wrong, but i sense someone special was also missed along with the old house. I go there sometimes, then i remember it's another time, another day. Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings.....


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

hi Ruby! You know, when I read your comments, I feel that we probably have experienced and relate to some things very much alike. Your words reflect the same feelings and reactions oftentimes..so much so that I feel we are "sisters" in this. Thank you so much my friend, for the visit and very astute comment. Kathy


Maren Morgan M-T profile image

Maren Morgan M-T 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

I like the phrase "home of my heart."


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This is beautiful. memories and a longing to be back when life was so much easier. Somwhere to escape to in our dreams when lifes hits us hard.

Beautiful yet also sad in a way.


TKs view profile image

TKs view 5 years ago from The Middle Path

A powerful poem full of feeling. May we all someday discover that the things most important to us, have never really been left behind.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

So very beautiful Kathy,

Your flowing,peaceful talent allows everyone to share in your magical vibes.

I have a saying which I have tried to live by over the years ,it goes like this:-

I may stay in the same place for a while;

I happily move forward when the time is right to do so;

But I never retrace my steps and travel back;

Thank you Kathy again for sharing your beautiful and gifted words with us on here.

Your gift to inspire truly comes from your heart.

Have a great day;

Take care;

Eiddwen.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Maren, Rosemary and TK...I was in a "mood" when I wrote this one...and, I actually did dream of the home of so many years past...a familiar scene that has taken place over so many years....repetitive dreams. Thank you for the empathetic comments!

Eiddwen...have you heard of the term "old soul?" That's you, Eiddwen...one who has been here many times and has learned a great deal and it shines from your being...through words, sentiments, feelings and empathy...and I am so very humbled and complimented by your sweet comment. I love your saying, too. Kathy


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Kathy,

I think we really can "go home", even in our mind's eye. This is a place that will always bring you heartfelt peace and fond memories, no matter where you reside. You carry this home in your heart and soul- it is you!

Voted UP & UABI, mar.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Hi Mar. Remember the series of 'you can never go home?' Well, the dream I had which inspired this poem was another one of those mysterious visits back to that time and place. Amazing and weird, too. You've got it just right...it is a place of emotional and soul refuge...and fond memories. Thank you so much for being you and your intuitive and empathetic spirit. Your friend, kathy


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Lucky Cats, it's not always a pleasant thing to go back, yet for most of us it's a place of comfort for our soul to reflect back to simpler times. I can't really say that about my home. I don't have a ton of pleasant memories, thus I ran, left as fast as I could.

I was 17 when I left my home and never looked back, save to help my mom and set her finally free from the hurt and pain she was taking from the man in her life. I loved how you sewed your words together, I saw the imagery, I felt you there, I saw you there.

Leaving can be very bitter, sorrowful, sad and often meant to be. Many fly away from the nest, yet come back to the nest to keep in touch with their birth right and families. I hope you have been able to do that. Hugs from me to you.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

Home is where the heart is luckycats. Home is where there are lots of good memories made. Thus, that makes us wander over to that place physically or virtually.

Loved this poem of yours...beautiful and voted up


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Hi there my dear one, saddlerider! I know you have a depth of understanding and empathy for such a poem. It is a dichotamous reality....once very wonderful...and, at the same time; no so. But, the imagination tends to soften the edges if the memory is not too very harsh. I am sorry that you cannot have the solace of fantasy when it comes to younger years...I indulge when I can...and involuntarily through dreams. Thank you so much for your always very insightful and amazing comments...Kathy

Ruchira...thank you for visiting..yes, home is where the heart is and parents are always looked up to...except in the most severe and hurtful cases...so, we wander back from time to time to replenish and 'relax.' You're right on the mark w/your great comment.


tlmcgaa70 profile image

tlmcgaa70 5 years ago from south dakota, usa

such a wonderfully written and expressed poem. you do wave a beautiful way with words Kathy. thank you for sharing your feelings in such a touching way. voted up and across and i am sharing it with my friends on facebook.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

thank you my dear friend, Tammy. I just love your hubs about the 'identical" kitties and how you've had to use methods to identify them and that you don't want to separate the family....I'm right there with you.

In this hub; I've had another dream (in a long time recurring situation)..after quite a while. Because of all the changes, I think. Oh boy!!!

Thank you so much. Kathy


kennynext profile image

kennynext 5 years ago from Everywhere

They say you can never go home again, so never be in a hurry to leave


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Hello Kennynext..thank you for your sage words of advice...very appreciated..and pondered!! Many sincere regards! Kathy


BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Kathy, how nostalgic! Beautiful poem, full of memories and dreams, touching, heartfelt, amazing!


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Hi BeyondMax...thank you so much for your wonderful support. You are amazing. Yes, several years ago, I made a few huge decisions which, irrevocably, have changed my life forever. Sometimes, it's very hard to face this reality...other times, I would have it no other way. Very conflicting and confusing at times; crystal clear at others..and so, we deal w/the hand we were dealt. Thank you, my dear friend....you are incredibly sensitive.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

On my mind these days.

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