Mixed Emotions, And Embracing God.
I realize that I talk about my heart event a little too often, but I need to talk about the experience more.
I was never in pain. In fact I could not believe the doctors. They kept telling me that I was having heart problems, and having a heart attack. They kept telling me that my heart rate was very high , and that my heart was beating awkwardly because of messages that were not being processed correctly. They said part of my heart, the part that sends messages to another part of my heart was not getting messages like it should, and that my heart was flopping around like a fish. I went threw three procedures, and the only thing they could do was to give me medication.
The only thing I could not do was to breathe. Eventually I knew I was dying when I rested my head on the kitchen table , and told Joann that it would be best for me to go back to the hospital.
At this stage I had to be rolled into the emergency ward on a hospital bed. I expected to die. Respiratory doctors , and cardiologist had me sedated. I saw the paddles , and it's counterparts.
Suddenly I saw darkness, and cloudy thick black smoke, like rolling smoke from something like black smoke in a house fire. I thought about a house fire where I dashed into it to check for anyone who might need help. Fortunately the house was vacant.
I really, and seriously believed God was coming to take my life because it was time for me to die because God had saved my life too many times in dangerous situations .
In my mind I asked God to let me live . I saw depressing images of myself lying face down in a coffin like I was a victim of some unfortunate violent situation.
When I did wake up, a male nurse told me that they thought they were going to lose me.
I was so careless with my life as a police officer. I walked to face armed men that carried rifles, or pistols. I took a lot of chances in order to save other officers, and the public.
Some cops thought I lived too dangerously by walking right in the middle of armed individuals that had revolvers. I walked into the barrel muzzle of a 44 magnum rifle. The shooter wanted to die from police gunfire so he shot up a bar room. My partner, and I did not have the heart to take his life, so we risked our lives to walk into the sights of the troubled man.
I talked with him. The shooter put his gun down. My police partner, and I took the shooter to a coffee shop. He had coffee with us. We did have to bring him in to be booked for blasting up a bar room, and for scaring the daylights out of people.
In my heart he did not look dangerous. I never shot a man in my life. To tell you the honest truth, maybe that was why I tried my best to protect everyone. God Bless.