Random Short Poems. God Bless Our Beautiful America.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


HONEY : Poem.

Honey ain't funny,

honey means money,

Honey is great for birds and bees and bears,

and for puppy dog stares,

and for people on rocking chairs.

___________________

VAMPIRES : Poem

They love to drink you,

What can I say.

So pass the potatoes,

and jump in the hay,

for a stay.

___________________

CANNIBALE STEW : Poem.

Please don't look in that pot

because it is aunt Dot.

Ahh, I was hoping it was not .

_____________________


THE POLITICAL FIEND: Poem.

I had one once

chassing me,

down a street .

I want forget that day

because I knew him right away.

He was weird running and lusting after me.

He wanted my vote, and for me to drink some tea.

But I tripped him with my high heel shoes,

and so he got the blues.

___________________

THE TRICKY OLD BUZZARD : Poem.

I was just the sweetest little nurse,

with a very cute little purse.

When Mr. Mooney

told me,

that I dropped my little purse.

So I turned around.

to bend down,

which made me feel so profound,

that I began to jump up and down.

which also gave me and awful frown.

Yep, that twas Mr. Mooney alright,

that naughty tricky buffoon knee.

__________________

THE SARCASTIC CARPENTER : Poem.

It was my walking cane that broke.

So I took It to a carpenter.

He told me he couldn't fix it.

So I asked what was the matter,

but all he gave was chatter.

So I left abruptly

because he didn't matter.

_____________________

TUNA IN MY RULER : Poem.

Whoever used my ruler,

put tuna on my ruler.

Must have been my wife Joann,

who might not have had a plan,

and grabbed my ruler instead of a spoon ,

to feed the cats some tuna.

Don't know why she used my ruler,

which sure did smell like tuna.

Because I had intended to use it for my spam,

from a can.

_____________

MACCARONI AND CHISELS : Poem.

I went to dinner one day.

I looked in my plate,

and saw chisels and maccaroni.

I called the waiter,

who didn't arrive til later.

I screamed , " Hey nut , there is chisels in my macaroni."

He said, " Well take them out you fool, if you eat dim chisels you'll break your teeth, and that's my golden rule."

I yelled back , " Well I've got to go cuzz of what you've got the nerve to serve. because you folks have obviously lost all your brains around a curve."











__________________

THE CRISCO KID : Poem

Look up into the kitchen !

Up in the air !

In your hair !

It tis not a mixer nor a spoon !

It tis the Crisco kid !

Faster than a pancake !

More powerful than home made bread !

It's the Crisco Kid, coolest biscuit creator in town !

And he never lost a pound !

And still as fat as a brat !

_____________________


Comments 17 comments

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Great words and beautiful photos stars.

Thanks for brightening up a dull Monday.

Take care

Eiddwen.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

HA HA HA - I could just picture the "Crisco Kid" - maybe with a red, white and blue cape. You gave me a big smile this dark morning!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Chisel Maccaroni...add a little statue and feed it to your museum tour guide,lol:-))


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Mentalist acer : Just a little silly hub. GBY.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Phoenix ; Thank you for reading it. God Bless You.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Eiddwen : Thank you for reading this one two. God Bless You.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago

Stars, You are so funny and clever! Thank you for sharing, In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

"Cannibal Stew" is very funny. And those legs are gorgeous . . . but I digress. :D

Thank you my friend for fun entertainment. I love it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Very funny stuff, stars!

I'm with Mr. Watkins on "Cannibal Stew"! I liked Aunt Dot...a lot.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear James : Thank you for visiting ,and aapreciate the kind words, and your right, there gorgeous. God Bless You Mu dear friend.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Mr.s Deborrah : Thank you precious heart for writing, and it is always a wonderful joy to have you visit. Your words, and thoughts, are my encouragement in my work. God Bless you, and your darling loved ones.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Will Star : Thank You so much for writing, and you and James are cool. God Bless You My Dear Friend.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK

Wow... what a lovely collection of Poems.

Hope you and your family are fine and not close to those Tornado's I read about in the News.

God Bless. x


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Lady E : Thank You Sweet Heart For visiting. You are precious and thoughtful. It is hot outside. Must be brewing up for a rain or a thunderstorm. We are doing fine, and hope your doing fine too. God Bless You And Your family.


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA

Wow...another poet! I am an amateur writer too, working on my first novel and have written a few poems in my day. The best one I read during my wedding to my 2nd wife. She wrote me one too and we were both in tears since neither one of knew the other was going to read something during the ceremony! LOL

Although not married any longer, I saved the poems I wrote to her...they were too good to throw away, at least I thought so!

Thanks for sharing your poems. Awesome!


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. Author

Dear Knightheart : I think we are all amateurs forever in our hearts when it comes to love, and memories, and self expression. Whatever makes us cry, or sad , or brings back memories of love, is always young in us. I am far from being a poet, as I only use words that sound alike sometimes. Write from your heart my friend everything and you will discover the master in you. God Bless You.


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA

I write poems that use that rhyming word pattern too. I guess I always thought poems had to rhyme! LOL Anyway, although I know there are other forms, I stick to the old rhyming pattern since I am used to it! Everything I write is from the heart, especially when it is about cats or our God, and believe me, tears are usually part of the recipe! Keep on writing!!!! God Bless you!

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