Superficiality

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Superficiality is all around us. When you turn on the TV your bombarded with sexy Victoria Secret ads and other ads with attractive men and women portraying how life should be like. Shows like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, New Jersey, and Orange County portray rich wives dressing to the max every single day all dolled up. Celebrity pictures are in every magazine on how much work they have had done or are going to do. Everyone is trying to look young and gorgeous forever. Young women and men are getting messages hammered into their heads from a young age on how to look, what to be like, what to drive, what to buy, how to dress, and how much money to make. And if you don't have these things? You are not good enough. Not the status quo. Not cool. Not popular. Not beautiful.

What is this really telling everyone what they should be focusing on? How they look and how much money they make. Is it normal? Is it okay?

When I was twelve years old, I developed an eating disorder to try and "be perfect". What society believes is perfect. I achieved my goal, but what came with that level of perfectionism was too much on my twelve year old body and soul and I went into a deep depression. I remember constantly looking in the mirror comparing myself to the models that they advertised in magazines like Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and others. I would watch MTV and want to look like Cindy Crawford on House of Style. All of the boys loved Cindy and her Pepsi commercial. Then came Pamela Anderson on Baywatch. The never ending slow scenes on that show of Pam running around in her red one piece oiling up tanning lotion while working out was too much to compare myself to at twelve and thirteen years old.

Watching all of these images made me believe that by having beauty I could have anything I want. Fame, money, boyfriends giving me whatever I want... even love. So, I strived for that perfection, that image, thinking that was the result I would receive. What happened was a lot of heartache and insecurity. Only when I found my true self through finding out who I was did I find happiness. Finally I said to myself one day, WHO CARES WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! That's when my life began. When I found my inner beauty and love for myself I knew that it didn't matter. I found my own spirituality, not the one forced on me through years and years of what private Catholic schools forced on teaching me.

On Christmas, my brother and I had an interesting conversation about women and beauty. He is going to law school right now and had an internship with a married womanizing lawyer who checks out anything with a pair of boobs and a vagina. This man told my brother that he feels sorry for women over the age of 35 because that's when they lose their looks. As he told me this I had a lot of emotions running through me. First, shock, anger, then insecurity, worry, fear, resentment, sadness, and then more anger. How dare this man see women this way and have this outlook on women? Women are #1 worth more than their looks, #2 that it's total BS that they are unattractive after the age of 35. Then I thought this was coming from an overweight unattractive older man. Then I wondered do all men think this way?

An artist I used to know who was the biggest womanizing man on earth said something similar to me before. He, being 46 at the time told me that once a woman turns 30 she becomes a "ball buster". He would paint tons of young 20 year old models and tried to sleep with all of them. He had a failed marriage before and was broke, lonely, and corrupt at 46. Who knows where he is today.

What I want to know is how many men think this way? Is life screwed for women after the age of 35 in the looks and desirability department? Are we teaching little girls to be perfect models for men's needs from a young age to the point where they starve and care only about their looks until they hit 35 and then it's all downhill from there?



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SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 4 years ago from eastern North Dakota

Your hub is so right, Caroline, but it isn't just men. "Mothers" are pushing their little daughters to be and dress like beauty queens. Even four and five-year-olds are made to stand certain ways and look sexy in especially newspaper color advertising, and enter beauty contests. In fact, I consider much advertising, music videos, etc., to be softcore porn, so I don't need to look at the hard stuff.

No, I don't by any means consider a woman to be washed up after 30. But if she stops taking care of herself (exercise, eating right, self-esteem, etc) then, yes, she will go downhill much faster than a man. I've seen it happen, and will mention just the worst, and yes, it upset me to see it. A girl in highschool track had a body that "everyone" liked to look at. She developed it by pushing herself to be a great runner, and she was great. Two years later I ran into her. She was in college and "not" running, I guess instead...well, I don't know what happened. At about 20, her beauty was gone, buried in weightgain. She still seemed to be happy, and I didn't question her, and just so you know there was 30-40 yrs between us. I saw her as a little sister or another niece, and haven't seen her since. I so agree with your hub, and I feel sorry for the young girls trying to be what they think the world wants. They need people like you, Caroline, to set the good example, and there are organizations trying to help


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

SubRon thank you for your insightful and helpful comment. I agree that a lot of people contribute to over-sexualizing children and teenagers. It's always nice reading your comments. :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I like this topic..So many young girls idolize the super thin stars and models, when in reality they are too thin to be beautiful. ( My opinion ) Advertizing is so unreal, like when they use a 20 year old to use antiaging creams to get rid of wrinkles. lol..Thank's for sharing..


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Thanks you Always for your wonderful comment. I totally agree with you. It is total false advertising using 20 year olds to advertise wrinkle creams! Always a pleasure to see you!


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 4 years ago from eastern North Dakota

Caroline, earlier, when I commented here, I forgot to commend you for coming to terms with your own problems, which could not have been easy. And, while looking at your profile page again I came across "Design Chic Diva" and clicked on it, and looked at a lot of your work. I'm very impressed, especially with your graphic art. It's in a word beautiful. I just today paid someone $100 to design a book cover from my description, and that's about as high as I would have gone. Could I have even came close to affording you...?


stessily 4 years ago

Caroline, Looking like a celebrity is like the emperor's new clothes, which, in reality, were no clothes. When I realized the layers of makeup and technology, such as soft light and air brushing that comprise the "look" that especially impressionable young'uns are supposed to aspire to, I then understood that there is no reality in so-called visions of utter loveliness churned out by Hollywood and the fashion industry. False eyelashes, hair extensions, stiletto heels to lengthen legs, etc., do not last. It's really unfortunate that those unreal images play real havoc with our eyes, hearts, and minds.

Once realizing the unreality and superficiality, the true challenge is finding kindred spirits who see and treasure true beauty.

Thank you for another thought-filled presentation that looks beyond the surface and into the depths.

I think that you have learned to appreciate your intrinsic gifts, and you have also learned how to share your discoveries; those are powerful accomplishments.

Kind regards, Stessily


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Sub Ron first thank you for your wonderful compliment. It is always nice to hear when somebody appreciates your work. I am pretty negotiable usually with single clients than with companies. :)


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Stessily thank you very much for your heartfelt comment. I am learning as I go along. :) It is heard living in the world today with everything that we have to face on a day to day basis. I agree that Hollywood is basically an illusion that we cannot compare ourselves to. Finding great people who accept you for however you come and look is the best way to live. Thank you for your wonderful and thoughtful comments as always!


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 4 years ago from eastern North Dakota

Thanks, Caroline. I'm good now with this cover but I'm also working "slowly" on a nonfiction book, but haven't even considered what the cover should be. Right now I'm buried, but when I come up with something I will use the contact button on your Diva site.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Ok lol. Good luck with your book SubRon.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Caroline, you are so right... It is a shame that this has to go on.

Great Hub.

I voted up and awesome

Debbie


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Deborah thank you! Always a pleasure to see your comment. I am glad you liked it.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

What a great hub and oh so true !!!

Advertisments show women who use anti ageing creams but none of the have ever had an inkling of a wrinkle.

Many models seen on the cat walk or modelling clothes are far too thin and it is not an healthy message to be givving out to our youngsters of today.

I could carry on and on here but I think that you have already done a great job on this subject; so i will just vote up up and away here.

Take care

Eddy.


cherylone profile image

cherylone 4 years ago from Connecticut

A truer word was never spoke (as they say in A Christmas Carol). I was one of those can't seem to make it girls, I was never drop dead gorgeous, or even pretty. I have been struggling with my weight since I was very young and I thought I was supposed to look like those "pretty ladies" in the magazines. I feel so bad for all those little girls who are not allowed to be little girls because their mothers want them to be "beauty queens". How can they possibly know what life is all about if that is the only life they know. Voted up and awsome. :)


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

@ Eiddwen Thank you so much for your support and reading and commenting on my hub! Have a Happy New Year!

@ Cheryl Thank you for your fabulous comment! I completely agree. Beauty always lies from within. There is always a reason why we are faced with certain challenges. You are beautiful.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Caroline,

I feel sorry for those who will do anything to stay young and beautiful. Sure maybe they look 10 years younger but their body is still aging.

Beauty starts from the inside.

Voted up and awesome.


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Sueswan I totally agree with you that beauty comes from the inside. Thank you for reading and your support. Always great to see you.


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 4 years ago from home

c21,

first off if you are over 25 i would be shocked... second off-older women are not bereft of beauty charm and virtues I met my wife 15 yrs ago when she was 32 and in my eyes she hasnot aged even five years...a year... I mean a month.. er I mean she looks younger yes thats it thatsw what I thinkand I met her 1 years ago.

I work with alot of beautiful young ladies aged under-25 but I can say my wife is by far the best of all women I know or have ever met (sorry c21 and kim L) but she is.

can i find other women attractive- absolutely but I being a giant green lizard so who really looks back I mean sure various residents of Tokyo ;ook up point and scream "aaaggghhh GODZILA!!!!!" its gotten old but.. oh well where was I- Yet-if you are looking at the whole beauty issue- I think that while physical beauty is but skin deep, .. it is true men do not have X-ray vision to inspect the interworkings of females if we did- the question - "Are those real would never had to een uddered" *tee-hee uddered* now c21, i am in no way defending the average males desire for external beauty,

I think it has to do with the whole plummage on animals to attract mates or the size of horns on bulls Claws on Lobsters and Crabs that in some cases become vestigial due to size.... it is a natural thing for men to be attracted to pretty women- its ingrained in our genetic codes/souls to search for "a partner that has desirable characteristics". Oh and by the way women do it too....

its just that men are

1. too arrogant to hide it

2, too stupid to hide it or

3. dont wish to hide it

4, try to hide it but due to 1,2,3 can't

C21,

i am sorry this ran long but I felt the need to be thourough while i was brutally honest about the methodologies of other men

*pats self on back*

TH


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

Hi Tom,

That's a great comment that you left. I think it so wonderful that you think you're wife is the most beautiful woman. I hope one day my future husband thinks the same about me. That is a great quality that you have. I am over 25 and am not complaining about how I look or anything yet, but I guess according to society I should fear about my future. lol. You have a great way of looking at your marriage and wife thinking she hasn't aged and is still beautiful. That is very admirable! Like I said, I hope for the same one day. I love you're description of men and how they think. You're comment did justice to the article and made me feel better on this topic. Thanks for taking the time out to read and comment! Always great to see you.


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 4 years ago from home

c21,

Dont tell the other boys- they may throw me out of the mens union local-127..*snicker*

TH


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven Author

LOL T Ok I won't

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