The Coconut Kid From Rotten Berry Street. A Fantasy Comedy Story.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The coconut kid had a very hard head. His daddy , who left his wife Sharlene after she got pregnant did not want any responsibilities, or anything interfering with his alcohol addiction to strawberry wine .
The baby grew up without a father image in his life. Sharlene told her young son that he had a head that was as hard as a coconut because he never listened to anything she told him to do . The kid was always getting into trouble, and was always trying to get his hands on easy money so he decided to buy a pound of bananas from Suckers Downtown Supermarket. Coconut peddled his bicycle to the store, then came home with three bananas. He gave his mama two , and he ate one.
The Coconut kid peddled back to the store the very next day while his banana peel was still fresh. He stepped off of his bicycle, walked into the store, and then headed straight to the produce isle where he quickly threw his banana peel on the floor while no one was looking, and then put his foot on top of it , and pretended to slip down landing on his back.
The kid screamed his head off. " Oh my oh mercy, I'm in pain, and I think I broke my back. I am in agony ! " screamed the kid.
" EMERGENCY ON ISLE 9 BY THE PRODUCE ! , " was announced all over on a loud speaker in the store.
The store manager quickly ran to see what happened, and saw the Coconut kid lying down crying, and screaming on the floor.
" Kid are you alright ? " asked the manager.
" Nope, I'm not alright. I'm in pain," said the kid.
" Do you need help kid ? " asked the manager.
" Do you need a doctor kid, or medical help ? " asked the manager.
" Yes , I need help bad, and can you call my lawyer too ? " asked the kid.
The manager called a lawyer the kid conveniently knew. The lawyer arrived one minute after the ambulance, and he rode in the back of the ambulance with the kid to Hard Luck Hospital.
Buck Wheat Jack was the name of the kid's lawyer. Jack handed the kid a handkerchief so that the kid could cry some alligator tears on it. They were fake tears, but every tear drop would be worth plenty of money.
" Order in the court," said the judge.
" What happened ," asked the judge.
" Did you slip down on purpose boy? " asked the judge.
" Hell no," said Coconut. " My mama did not raise no fool your honor, " said the kid.
" Don't get sarcastic with me kid, or I will hold you in contempt, " said the judge.
" Store manager, why didn't you put orange cones around that banana peel ? " asked the judge.
" We never had time to even know there was a banana peel lying on the floor your honor, " said the manager.
" My client is in severe pain your honor," said defense attorney Buck Wheat.
" The verdict of this court is guilty. The client is awarded one hundred, and fifty million dollars," said the judge.
" Sucker's Supermarket is filing bankruptcy your honor," said the manager.
" Suckers Supermarket must pay the one hundred, and fifty million dollars first to have a reason to file bankruptcy. It is not getting off that easy, " said Judge Gravely.
Coconut received a fat check of one hundred, and fifty million dollars. His attorney Buck Wheat got ten million. Suckers Supermarket went bankrupt.
Coconut pretended he was injured every day for thirty years in his large castle. His mother Sharlene never worked hard again at the pickle factory where she only earned twenty dollars a week.
Coconut had a large private room where he would take his body cast off so that he could have nice long baths in his jacuzzi with his beautiful women. They oiled up his body every day with lotions.
On his river boat his cooks were always creating gourmet meals. He never did get caught for all he did wrong, but most of all he was happy because his mama no longer told him that his head was as hard as a coconut.
When he died of old age he was still wearing his fake body cast for his fake injuries, but he never had fake kids. He raised a family of fifteen chaps from all the beautiful women he made love too. And all his kids grew up to become lawyers.
The Coconut kid recovered his lost banana peel, and had it bronzed, and hung it up on his wall like a trophy.
God Bless Everyone.
Author's notes : Every name I use in my stories are definitely coincidental to real people.