My roommate's husband keeps running up the bills

  1. kimmny profile image61
    kimmnyposted 4 years ago

    I met my roommate on a Facebook group for this particular internship. The internships last about 6 months for college students and recent college graduates. The group is for everyone who was accepted to this internship like my roommate and I. People were looking to find roommates, leasing apartments together and etc in the group. So I posted that I was looking for a roommate on the group wall. I had many responses and one of them was my roommate. My preference for the roommates were 1-2 girls in a 2-3 bedroom apartments. Others were looking to find a little cheaper options (more roommates). We started to talk about ourselves to see if we can find out things to see if we would get along before we decide to live together.

    She told me she was married, and she will be away from home just for this internship (she wasn't going to live with her husband for the duration of the internship). She said that she is interested in living with me in a 2-3 bedroom apartment possibly with another girl roommate. I thought this was pretty good idea to live with her because I thought that she won't be bringing in random guys every night to sleep around with since she was married.  (My old roommates brought different guys and spent nights pretty often and I was tired of it.) She told me that he would be visiting sometimes during the internship. She sounded like he wasn't going to be here that much.

    The lease began on January 1, 2012 and it ends on July 31, 2012. I moved in around mid-January. When I got there my roommate and her husband were already moved in. We got along pretty well and everything seemed to be fine. However, he started to visit every other week. He would come on Thursdays and leaves sometime on next Monday. He hardly ever missed a week. And now, he comes to visit her almost every week. So I would see him in less than a week actually.

    Oh by the way, when we were looking into turning on the power, the set up fee was 150-200 dollars according to my roommate. I thought it was pretty high but I trusted her and I was about to pay for the half. Well several days later, she told me that because of her credit was approved and that the set up fee was going to be only 30 dollars. That was all she told me. I thought to myself, 'Wow, she almost ripped me off to pay for her credit not getting approved.' So from that point on I didn't really fully trust her.

    Anyway, I didn't mind him coming over all the time in the beginning because I wanted to be nice, and I knew they missed each other. I was actually glad that he could visit pretty often, or all the time. Ok, now about my roommate...she is an extremely wasteful person. She leaves the lights on everywhere and leaves the AC on freezing when nobody is in the apartment. She is very hot natured and I am pretty cold natured person. We never fought over the AC temperature, but there was this tension building up, and I'm sure everyone at some point has experienced this. She would turn it way down and I would turn it back up and vice versa. My roommate is not only wasteful, her husband visits quite often if not all the time. Well, things got a little different when we got the high bills.

    I was hesitating whether to tell her about this issue or not for months. When I mentioned this it was already end of March. I mentioned her to consider paying a little more than I for utility because of the way she prefers the AC temperature to be on, and her husband visiting all the time. (When he visits, he brings a huge cooler with all these ingredients to cook. He is always at the kitchen doing something. He uses my ingredients in the refrigerator–which I was ok with in the beginning, but things get old being repeated.) Anyway, when I mentioned that, she was not happy at all. And the next day I gave her a check that wasn't exact half of the bill. I have been talking to many people that live in the same area, and their bills weren't anywhere close to ours. I actually gave her more than any of the people in the area would have paid. My apartment doesn't even get the direct sunlight, so it is already a cool place.

    When I gave her that check, she flipped the heck out. She immediately grabbed her stuff and ran out of the apartment and didn't come back for days. She is almost 3 years older than me, so I didn't expect that at all from someone in their late 20's. Well, the next day, I apologized her for giving her a check that wasn't exact half. I felt like I had to tell her because I didn't want to be responsible for all the rent if somehow she left. She came back and never said a word or mentioned anything about accepting my apology. So days later, I asked her when we ran into each other in the apartment that if my apology was accepted. She still to this day hasn't accepted it.

    Her husband continues to come down and do laundry, cook, turn the AC on low, and whatever you can think of. He even goes into my room and bathroom to close my air vent so his wife will have more air. I thought that was really creepy so I got a lockable door knob with a key. I always felt like my roommate/her husband goes into my room and use the bathroom and only God know what else. She still insists that I have to pay exact half of the bills. He now has been here 8 times not including the days he was here when I moved in. He stays 4-5 days at a time.  Also, my roommate told me that the lease says that unless her husband stays 14 consecutive days, he doesn't have to pay rent. I wasn't trying to get him to pay rent. All I asked her for was to pay a little more of the utility because of her habits and her husband coming down so much. (I think she is guilty of what she is doing and she got a little ahead there.)

    I was very frustrated and angry about this whole situation. I am being ripped off a big time and majorly being taken advantage of. Everyone I talk to about this situation, they told me that she need to be paying more, and I agree with that with no doubt. So I went to the leasing office today (5/3/2012) and told the ladies that work there. They both agreed with me on the idea that she needs to pay more. I also told them that (since my roommate had mentioned about him not paying rent if he doesn't stay 14 consecutive days) they are going around the 14 consecutive days restriction so he wouldn't have to pay anything.

    My roommate's husband has taken off more than anyone that has regular full-time jobs. People normally get around two weeks to be off, but her husband used a lot more than two weeks to be off to be here. She also told me before we had the blow out that he was going to quit his job and move down here (not at our apartment…she meant after the internship ends). I'm just worried that he is going to be here all the time. I didn't room with a boy because I only wanted a girl roommate. I may get him as my roommate….hopefully not. Also, when he is here, my roommate doesn't take off from work. So he is always at the apartment. Did he already quit his job or what? I don't want to be responsible for the high bills because of them two. I am trying to conserve as much as possible.

    I am just so fed up with them right now and I feel like I am being taken advantage of in many ways other than the rent/utility bill issues. For example, buying paper towels and dish sponges, emptying trash, cleaning the house, mopping the floor, you name it…I'm doing it ALL most of the time. I guess she doesn't feel bad at all about what she is doing. According to her, she never had problems with roommates before. I'm not sure if I should believe that or not.

    Anyway, thanks for taking your time to read this, and I am asking everyone for their opinions on what they think I should do.

  2. Express10 profile image87
    Express10posted 4 years ago

    They are taking advantage of you, plain and simple. No man but yours should be in your bedroom. I think you need to find a way out of the lease and if you're not on the lease, just leave them holding the bag and then they will see how it feels. If you don't wish to go that route, try talking to the girl alone and reminding her how she made it seem as if he wouldn't be there much and he is there several days weekly and using various things that cost money but not contributing and going into your private spaces.

    If you don't resolve this, it will fester and get worse. In the process, you will become a changed and angry person. Don't allow that to happen. Good luck.

  3. kimmny profile image61
    kimmnyposted 4 years ago

    They definitely are. I'm just so angry I don't even want to go home after work. I just don't get people like this, and they are just so low down. And yes, I am on the lease, so even if I leave, until I find someone else to replace my place I still have to pay the rent until the lease ends. I am generally very happy and optimistic person, and I hate for this to happen to me and it is a constant annoyance.

    Right now he is here again, and this is the 8th time he has been here. It has been way over a month if I count all the days he has been here not including the beginning since the lease started in January 2012. I am going to ask them (him) to pay a month lease and utility on his part and never come back, or ask the same thing with joining the lease (he will be paying rent and utility every month from now on.) I think this is the only fair way...though I don't know if they are going to be willing.

    Thanks for your input and it helps a bunch!!