2 Little known ways to make money while living frugally
It's getting expensiver out there!
Stuff costs more. We have less. For me the dollar/euro exchange rate is a killer. I have been researching ways to make some extra money, while at the same time living frugally. These tips aren't for everyone but if you want to pull yourself up by the bootstraps then dig in.
1. Sell oil
Really I mean it. Follow me here. The price of oil is hovering at just under $130 a barrel. Think of how much you can make by selling discount oil. I know you are thinking, "But I don't have a well". Who needs one, brush up on your science a bit. Organic matter breaks down and eventually becomes oil so I was thinking, "Couldn't I just save all my nail clippings, hair scraps, scabs, ear wax, food scraps, etc and put them in a barrel and sell it on Craigslist?" I mean I can buy barrels here in France for about 10 Euros for a nice oak barrel. I put the stuff in, fill it up, advertise it, and sell it. Sure it's not bubbly black gold but it will be. That's why I'm not selling it for $130 a barrel, I'm going to sell it for $60 a barrel. I was thinking of advertising it as Buy Oil by the barrel for 50% off the Saudi price. Some of you smarter ones are probably thinking, "But my own body can't produce enough organic matter to make this profitable". You're using your head, here is a list of ideas for collecting organic matter.
- Hair salons, I mean what do they do with all the hair after it has been cut?
- Nail salons, see above, also you could ask them to file people's nails over a cup so you can collect even the finer nail dust, that turns into oil quicker.
- Farmer's markets, at the end of the market usually the produce that is beginning to rot gets left behind, scoop it up for your oil reserves.
- Morgues, there have to be a lot of unidentified bodies that no one is going to miss, this could provide a lot of organic matter, but it must be broken up into smaller pieces, so get yourself some good tools.
- If you put your thinking caps on I'm sure you can come up with some more ideas on how to collect organic matter.
Power Tools to Take with You to the Morgue
For you visual learners
Sell your body fluids
This one is a little more conventional and some of you probably do it already so bear with me if you know how it works.
- Plasma is a good source of income. What is plasma you say, see, if you don't know what it is you will never miss it. Plasma is in your blood. If you go to a plasma center they will hook up an IV to you, which will draw your blood, feed it to a centrifuge, which will spin it to separate the plasma from . . . well . . . the non plasma part of your blood (no need to show off my sciencery here), the unplasmatic part is then sent back into you, and the center keeps the plasma. Good for them, who needs it? Simple. You might feel a little dizzy when you get up to leave. This is not a contact high from being around all the drug addicts that usually frequent plasma centers, this is actually physiological. Your blood sugar is low. This is an added benefit to going to plasma centers, not the dizziness, but they give you a cup of cool aid and up to $20 for your time. You can go back 3 times per week. You earn money and spend less on food costs.
- Sperm banks have completed a full PR makeover so sometimes it is hard to find them in the phone books. Don't give up though. You used to be able to look up sperm bank or donor and find them. Now you have to look for family planning center, cryogenic center, fertility center, or if you get too frustrated you can usually pick up the local lesbian yellow pages and you are sure to find what you are looking for. There are usually some tests they do to make sure your sperm can survive and be fertile after being frozen. If you want to speed up the process of testing, freeze some on your own and bring it to your 1st appointment. The center will appreciate your initiative. Once accepted you will be allowed to "donate" up to 3 times per week. You must allow 36 hours in between "donations", otherwise your count will be too low. "Donations" with a capital D and a lowercase d count, not just the ones in the clinic, I mean center. This makes it hard, no pun intended, to do if you are in a relationship, so I recommend this to people who have just broken with with a partner or to people who have been married for more than 10 years who aren't "donating" anymore anyway. A side benefit to this money making opportunity is the stress relief that comes with it. Truly relaxing. You can make $40 a "donation".
- Did you know that there is an entire genre of porno movies that involve urine? A friend told me about it, not that I have first hand experience with it. This is just a hunch I have but I think it could work. How many times can you possibly urinate in a day? How many takes of a scene does it take to film one of these movies? There must be a shortage sometime. There must be days when everyone goes home early because someone is dehydrated. Here's where you come in. Start bottling and freezing your urine and propose to the directors your urine. If you are going to the sprem bank to you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone, freeze them both, but not together, unless the director is interested in both. I have no idea what to suggest for a price but don't go too low because there has to be a demand.
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