Celebrity Crossovers From Hell- Singer Actors / Actor Singers / Model Actor Singer Diplomat Car Detailers... Ect
You thought this was bad...
Until this happened...
We must never speak of this...
You'd think that being a superstar in a select field would provide enough incentive for a person to stay in that field, making the kind of money in one year that your average Chinese worker would have to work 10,000 years to earn.
But celebrities hardly ever do, do they? Give someone a little recognition for one talent and they try to take it a mile. The crossover has been a phenomenon in Hollywood ever since people realized that being pretty could be confused for many other things, like being smart, talented, or just being a decent humanoid.
Common tragic crossovers are from modeling to acting, and from acting to singing. More successful crossovers are actors who become directors, as in the case of Ron Howard, Jodie Foster, Mel Gibson, and others. These crossovers, whilst nice, are not particularly interesting on account of the fact that they leave very little room for playful mocking.
Other crossovers are not so successful. Paris Hilton is good at being tall, having a smug smile, and acting as if the word 'consequence' doesn't feature in her vocabulary at all. She's also good for the occasional sex tape, but that's really where the talent ends.
Instead of being happy with her lot in life (after all, most amateur porn stars slip into complete obscurity after one movie), Paris decided to unleash a horror upon the world, the likes of which had not been seen in many moons.
I refer of course, to 'the singing thing', something which should simply never have happened. After the first instance of hearing her sing, a national emergency should have been declared and men in protective suits should have been sent in with a shiny object to distract her whilst they humanely put an end to her desire to sing forever. Instead some fool made an album, a single, and a music video.
Yet another less than successful crossover to the singing world was William Shatner's attempt at musicality. To be truthful, it is hard to tell which was worse, Paris or William. Fortunately for many of us, Shatner's foray into popular music happened long before our time, and we were not subjected to Captain Kirk's sing along tunes, though it is still possible to purchase duets performed by William and Leonard Nimoy. I thought I'd let you know just in case you like to use your hard earned money to torture yourself, or perhaps a loved one.
Jennifer Lopez is another crossover girl who went from singing to acting ironically in movies. I say ironically because the characters she plays are inevitably downtrodden women of color, and 'Jenny from the Block' is anything but downtrodden, and I don't know if she's actually a woman either, that ass has to be compensating for something.
Britney made a movie of course, but nobody mentions that anymore do they? No, and neither will I. Some things should simply never be spoken of.
The other particularly disturbing kind of crossover is the 'Actor to Politician' crossover. Arnie happens to be the case in point here. To be fair, the man does seem to be doing a fairly good job of governing California, which makes one wonder just how hard being a Governor actually is. Maybe they have him out the back stacking boxes, a duty they've told him is right up there on the Governor's list of tasks.
Unfortunately, once a celebrity has attained a certain level of fame, it is nearly impossible to convince them that they aren't the most talented homo sapien that ever graced the face of the earth. Even lesser celebrities fall prety to this trap. Exhibit A being Heidi Montag. If you're not familiar with her work, you can learn more about this inspirational young woman here, and here. The vicious reaction to her attempt at a music video apparently made her cry herself to sleep on at least one occasion, but at least she heard the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Or at the very least, will give your tear ducts a good cleaning out.
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