Dumbledore Is Gay? I Don't Think My Gaydar Is Working!

Dumbledore Is Gay? I Need To Get My Gaydar And My Magic Wand Fixed! - Don't Get Me Started!

I love the Harry Potter books. I've read them all and if J.K. Rowling ever wrote another one, I'd be the first to sign up on Amazon.com to have it delivered to my door on the day of its release. But even reading all the books, nothing prepared me for the news that came out of Rowling's own mouth this past week. The whole proclamation that Dumbledore was gay threw me for a loop. Dumbledore is gay? I need to get my gaydar and my magic wand fixed! - Don't Get Me Started!

Am I just naïve? I don't know. I just never really thought about any of the characters from the Harry Potter books having sex. And guess what? That's strictly okay with me. It's sort of like imagining your friends or relatives having sex, you know that they have sex but for God sake, you don't want to think about it. (Well, at least I don't) There was something so wonderfully magical and pure to NOT have to think about Hermione and Ron "getting it on" or Hagrid jerking off in his hut that right now even writing that makes me shudder.

The thing is that I'd like to be mad at Rowling for "spoiling" my innocent pleasure of reading her fantasy novels but what I'm more pissed off about is the fact that once again my gaydar appears to be on the fritz. After all, I guessed that the Sorcerer's Stone was in Harry's pocket in the pivotal scene from the first book. My suspicions were right about so many of the plot twists throughout reading the books but Dumbledore being gay? What's wrong with me, why didn't I see it? Sure he wore a diamond in his beard but I just took that as being where wizards wore their diamonds. Yeah, he was always redecorating the sky in the great hall but I thought of that as more than just showing off for the kids. And the whole long fingernail thing I wrote off as an absent-minded professor who was so genius that he didn't have time to think about personal grooming. Okay, after reading all of that, I admit it, I should have known. But frankly, if I had to pick a character that was gay in the Potter books, I'd have to lean toward Snape (as it sort of explains his whole nasty demeanor - you know, can't admit he's gay so it makes him a miserable person...Senator Larry Craig are you listening?). If I forced myself, I could see Snape and Lucius Malfoy at a leather bar but Dumbledore?

And what about all that "loving of Harry" that Dumbledore did? All the protecting Harry and them spending special time in Dumbledore's "private office?" You know the office where you said a magic word to make the stairs rise...wait, I mean rise like a phoenix, he had a phoenix bird, remember? Abracadabra, no, I can't think about Dumbledore being attracted to Harry because if I do I'm really going to be ill. Too late, already I can see the title of the porno - Hairy Potter and Dumbledore's Secret Chamber. Eeek! I mean, even with the adorable Daniel Radcliffe playing Harry, I never thought about having sex with him or him having sex with any of his fellow Hogwarts classmates. (I guess this means you can definitely never accuse me of being part of the whole man/boy love culture. Just one more thing that separates me from Michael Jackson)

If Hermione were only here, she'd know an incantation to clear my mind of all that has been thought. But alas, there is no Hermione (here or anywhere else) and that means that there's no Dumbledore either so on some level I'm safe. Besides, there was nothing ever really all that sexual about Dumbledore that could have really tipped me off. So if he is gay (and the author says that he is) then he is like the Will Truman character on Will and Grace, you know, almost asexual. Even when he had boyfriends I never really thought about him having sex. True that's another fictional character but then there's always Lance Bass, I can't (and won't) imagine him having sex either. But that's a blog for another day.

I know I should be glad that Dumbledore is gay, right? A major character in a major book series is "outed" so that should make me feel validated, right? Not so much. It just makes me want to re-read every book and see if there were some clues I missed. And maybe just maybe that's what the clever Ms. Rowling was really intending all along, a way to get us to all break out the books and keep Harry Potter on our lips a little longer. (Boys, honestly, minds out of the gutter) Dumbledore is gay? I need to get my gaydar and my magic wand fixed! - Don't Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com

More by this Author


Comments 4 comments

AnneRako profile image

AnneRako 8 years ago from Chicago

Since she's outed Dumbledore (over a year ago, I know), I've wondered if Jo knew that Dumbledore was gay since the beginning or if she came up with that along the way. I've always thought of Dumbledore as asexual, as I'm sure everybody has, but when you think about it, it makes sense, (to me, at least). A lot of people thought it was a publicity stunt, but I have to disagree; Jo was at the very pinnacle of the Harry Potter madness, she didn't need any extra help to keep the series popular at that point. I think she had decided awhile ago that Dumbledore was gay and only announced it because someone directly asked. Furthermore, I like that she did announce it without shame; I think it's a cool thing she did for the gay community, making such a prominent, intelligent, and respected character gay.

But that's just my opinion.


Lu 7 years ago

Honestly, Dumbledore and his sexuality never came to mind before...you just never even thought about it, he did come across as asexual. But, I think most of us never associated any sort of sexuality with Dumbledore merely because he's like 150...but in his younger days, yeah, why not? When you think about it, it makes sence. I remember the scene in HBP with Harry said "nice suite sir" cause he was wearing, like a bright purple suite.

He wears purple suits, he decorates and he calls men like younger Tom Riddle handsome...lol, I guess that just is another aspect of him and proves sexuality has nothing really to do with personality. I wonder if his staff knew..if Snape knew?


Muffy 6 years ago

I really did think that Dumbledore was asexual or that something had happened to him when he was younger that broke his heart and kept him from a relationship. I never thought of him as gay. If he was gay, how come he never made a move on Harry? I don't believe that J.K. Rowling originally thought of Dumbledore as gay. But hey what do I know? I'm not the author. I have nothing against the LGBT community at all, but I do have a problem thinking about Dumbledore as gay. I don't care how liberating it is to the gay community, I just don't think that Dumbledore was gay because it just doesn't fit his character. I don't mean that gays can't be brilliant or honorable, I just mean that Dumbledore's actions don't line up with it. Just because he can tell whether a person is handsome doesn't mean he's gay. Dumbledore is never described as being attracted to anyone or having a relationship with anyone. I just think that he never hard the inclination. He was eccentric brilliant, maybe metrosexual because of his outlandish clothing, and his own creator outed him as gay, but I'll always think of him as asexual.


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 6 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Just because he's a gay character doesn't mean he's going to go trolling after young boys like the Harry character. I think when an author says a character they wrote is gay we have to believe them because guess what? They created the character!!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working