Fun Things To Do With Your Ds Lite (Besides Play Games): Fun Thing Number One
Or you could do what these guys did...
These lucky fools won a chance to play their Nintendo Ds Lite in zero gravity. In a competition sponsored by Nintendo and MTV, DS Lite owners competed to play in a ZERO-G zero gravity plane.
That's nice and all, but playing in the back alley at work is nice too. Especially at night when I get to dodge agressive homeless drunk people weaving their way through and threatening to push me into the trash. The dangers of Zero Gravity have nothing on the dangers of a dumpster full of urban waste.
DS Lites were designed for just one thing: fun. In more than one way, gaming consoles can be considered the clitorises (or is that clitori?) of the technology world, existing only for the pleasure of being played with. (My apologies to anyone who was offended by that last remark, it was rude and dirty, and will make a great addition to the 'why all games should be banned and young people sent to jail' manifesto that you're no doubt preparing.)
Sometimes, no matter how awesome the DS Lite and the games for it are, you just have to stop playing. Eventually your fingers start to cramp up, your eyes water, and you may feel one of those funny seizures coming on. (Just kidding, DS Lites do not cause seizures. They may however, cause you to have more fun than it is proper to have, and that may cause you to go into involuntary spasms of great pleasureful joy. The technical term for this is known as 'joygasm'.)
In these non gaming periods, it's nice to be able to include your DS Lite in your daily life. After all, once should spend as much time as possible with the things one loves.
Bring Your DS Lite To Work
I hear you snort. I hear you call me lame. Because we both know that you already bring your DS Lite to work and play it on your breaks as well as sometimes during work when the boss isn't looking. Don't think I don't know that, and don't think he or she doesn't know that either. They're spying on you with that security camera device, and if you work for a corporation, through the chip they had implanted in your skin during that weird medical exam they had you take.
We're talking about the non playing times here, okay. Now, as all you DS Lite owners know, your DS Lite has a wee blinky light in the top right hand corner that blips on and off when you've shut the lid but not turned the console off. Use this function to your advantage by slipping your DS Lite surreptitiously into the corner of a colleagues workspace, then walking in and "discovering it" . Point to it with wide eyes, and make motions telling him or her not to talk. Quickly motion them out from their desk and drag them down the hall to a closet. Ask them how long the CIA/FBI/IRDS/other dictatorial authority has been tracking them for. Point out that wee blinky light and whisper that your cousin works for (insert name of dictatorial authority here) and that you've seen those devices before.
This will be about the time they start to panic. It's a funny aspect of the human condition that most people wander around feeling guilty for no reason a great proportion of the time. That's why most people are very susceptible to the suggestion that the law is coming for them.
Once you get tired of torturing your coworker, or they start to gather their belongings and head out of the office, reveal to them your little trick. You'll both laugh heartily, then you'll either get your ass kicked, or an official report will be lodged with your boss and you'll be fired. You won't be able to get another job because the reference from your last one will be worse than Charles Manson's probation report, and as a result of your efforts, you'll have more time to play video games. Score!
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