Girl Scouts Are Screwing With Our Cookies
Well I suppose that most would say that the state of the economy has hit all of us and that it should be no surprise that the Girl Scouts have announced the fact that their boxes of cookies this year will be a little lighter to assist them in shipping costs and to not raise the prices for us the consumers (if you’re like me, you’re a consumer of far too many Thin Mints). What this means is that we’ll be getting about three or four less cookies in our boxes this year. With the current economy and our waistlines (that seem to be the biggest in the world) I’m thinking it’s a good thing that there will be less cookies per box and yet I can’t help wanting everyone to know that the Girl Scouts are screwing with our cookies – Don’t Get Me Started!
I’ve admitted it before and I don’t mind admitting it again that I have more than a love of the Thin Mint cookie (read my blog on that topic here - http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-I-Shouldnt-Be-Left-Alone-With-A-Girl-ScoutBox-Of-Cookies-). Something inside my head just changes chemically when I begin to eat the Thin Mint cookies and I guess I suddenly understand how crack addicts feel. Not only can I not eat just one, a sleeve is a serving size to me.
The thing is that I wonder if taking that few away will really help (me of course)? You see, while I would never want to see Girl Scout Cookies 100 Calorie Packs (could they even do that without ruining the deliciousness we’ve all grown to know and love), I do wonder if they made their sleeves a little shorter, putting in say four sleeves in a box instead of two, if I would eat less and they wouldn’t make more money? After all, the additional packaging would take up room in the box and make for less cookies while at the same time how much could that extra plastic wrap weigh down the box to create additional shipping dollars?
Even as I’m writing this and using my brainiest ways to make some sense out of the current cookie condition, if I’m completely honest, I want those four other cookies. That’s right, I know they aren’t good for me, I know that they make me miserable in the long run yet I want those cookies, dammit! Why oh why did they even have to tell us about it? Would anyone have noticed? Wouldn’t we all have just maybe felt not so bad and a little lighter after eating a sleeve of the Thin Mints due to the less cookie thing? Did they have to be so damned honest those girls with the sashes and the greenie green uniforms? I hate them.
That’s right I now hate the Girl Scouts for telling me about the less cookies per box. In fact, I don’t know how I’ll buy some without making some remark like, “Geez, this box feels a little light, what’s going on here?” Or maybe I’ll accuse the girl selling them to me of duping me by only putting one sleeve in the box and then shaking it like you do a Christmas present to see if it has the appropriate rattle I know to be the proper amount of Thin Mints. I’ll make a scene at that lightweight card table in front of my grocery store. I’ll bring unsuspecting passerbys over and tell them about the less cookies per box situation until finally the store manager will have to come over and ask me to leave like they do the crazy people who preach on street corners. I’ll be taken away by the police and my life will essentially be over. While waiting for my trial to take place, I’ll post videos on YouTube of me eating the cookies one at a time and all the while counting them (sort of like The Count from Sesame Street) showing the public that there are less cookies in the box and finally I’ll represent myself at my trial and be locked away for a very long time where I’ll be sold to a large man named “Tiny” in cell block D for half a pack of Marlboros.
And so I ask you, how can the Girl Scouts not feel responsible for the tragedy that is sure to befall me very soon? Why did they tell us about the less cookies? And why isn’t there a “white lie” badge they can earn? You see, sometimes you have to tell a little white lie to be a nice person you Girl Scouts. And all the while, all I can think about is why I didn’t fill my entire freezer full of them last year and where I can get my hands on some Thin Mints right now. (If you have some…write in…I’ll pay the extra overnight shipping) Damn you Girl Scouts! The Girl Scouts are screwing with our cookies – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com
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