Divorce Party? A Friend is Having One!

 

I have a friend, Kerri, whose divorce is finalized in August of this year. She is in her early 30's, chose to be a stay at home mom to raise her two little girls, even if she has her degree in Interior Decorating and worked in the field before marrying. So, you may be thinking, what else is new? There are countless of moms and dads who are raising their children on their own, a task I admire. What's new to me, is that I received an invitation to attend with my mate, in August 15-17 a two day party to celebrate the finalization of her divorce and a new chapter in her life.

She is not gloating that she is free, or sinking into despair, even if it was emotionally hard at first to actually go through with the divorce process; there were a lot of fears she had to deal with first; angry words between husband and wife, and concerns, such as how was she going to earn a living while raising her two young daughters alone, as she has not worked outside the home for years.

 

She thought to herself, there are parties and celebrations for many things, why not one for divorce? As it's a significant change and achievement for her, as she has grown from this experience. She is able to understand that when one chapter of our lives ends no matter how painful, another opens, and it can offer us opportunities to let go of anger and blame or to stay stuck in our past; we all can learn from our experiences, and reinvent ourselves, and reinvent herself she has.

Her ability to use her divorce as a stepping stone into a greater life, didn't happen overnight, as she has been a student of the spiritual path for over 15 years, and had experiences that changed her connection to reality. Yet, being human, there have been times, when life became emotionally challenging for her as she let go of what no longer worked in her life. Any form of death, be it the physical loss of a loved one, or separation, or any change takes courage to transcend it.

During the three years or so prior to her divorce, she lost a significant amount of weight and came to terms with her lack of self worth caused by weight problems during most of her life, and published her book "Uncovering The Divine Within" by Kerri Kannan, that chronicles her spiritual journey. She immersed herself in opening up to prosperity, letting go of the fear of lack, and understanding her need to be taken care of by others, one reason she married her well to do husband, instead of trusting herself. As she explored her inner world, she found the courage to let go of a marriage that was stifling her spirit as she dealt with her husband's addiction to alcohol.

She is still figuring out ways of earning a living, so has decided to empower others by giving lectures and workshops while connecting to like minded people who fully support her path and choices; Its funny, how when we make changes, and increase our awareness, we begin to attract a different level of friends, who genuinely are supportive of one another, and the old ones who are not in alignment with our shifts, leave our space.

In her words this is her mission " to help people to see that it is only our self doubt that stands in the way of our dreams and once we can release the doubt, we start believing in ourselves and find that we have always had all our answers but have denied ourselves. I help people find themselves again and to lead the lives they were born to live."

Not an easy task unless one believes in oneself and above all have the ability to trust in the universe.

 

All of us are unique, and not everyone would be receptive to having a divorce party; as an example, if I were to separate from my mate, I know it would be deeply hurtful for me, as he is my playmate and the best friend I have ever experienced in my life, but I understand fully the intention behind her celebration, as Karen Ellis wisely observed in the comments in this hub. "It's kind of like a right of passage, going through a new door and shutting the old one behind you". http://hubpages.com/profile/Karen+Ellis. I am open to new ways of looking at things, to continuously grow even when life gives us lemons, which the words of her invitation nicely sums up, part which I share: I have omitted her address for privacy's sake.

Freedom Party

You and a guest are invited to please join me for a party to celebrate the finalization of my divorce and the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

The party will be a two day event at xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There are hotels nearby and I have a limited number of beds and plenty of room for air mattresses, sleeping bags and tents.

RSVP by August 1.

With a positive attitude, her passion and her ability to transform her pain into the evolution of her being, I see her succesful as a role model for many women and men as well, in making higher choices and living life fully.

 

Divorce Parties-Largest Divorce Party in the Nation!

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Comments 28 comments

Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 8 years ago from Central Oregon

It's kind of like a right of passage, going through a new door and shutting the old one behind you.


pgrundy 8 years ago

What a great idea! I've been divorced three times. Yes, three big ones. If this had been a tradition all along think of all the blenders I'd have! Thanks for this, this is a great hub!


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Hi, Karen: Yes, a right of passage is capturing Kerri's Freedom Party perfectly. Maybe I will add these words to my article later on.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Hi, Pam: Three times?! You have courage in getting married again. And yes, a nice collection of blenders would have been yours were this a tradition. LOL!


Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 8 years ago from Central Oregon

Violet,

Thanks for the link.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

You are welcome, Karen!


Steve 8 years ago

Don't forget to bring the perfect divorce party gift, a Wedding Ring Coffin. The coffin come with a brass plaque engraved with a final memorial message, from "Bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow" to "Six feet isn't deep enough!" You can get one here http://www.weddingringcoffin.com. Have a great time celebrating your friends' new tomorrow!


Cailin Gallagher profile image

Cailin Gallagher 8 years ago from New England

After a divorce, there is a sense of relief and rebirth in your new life. A party with friends who will support you in your new journey is a super idea. Not so much celebrating the loss of the marriage, but the future.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Good observation, Cailin, and this is what my friend is doing, celebrating a new life and future. She is an inspiring woman!


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

I have heard that many people actually buy cakes for their divorce parties and this is a thriving industry. It is far better for people to celebrate and embrace this chapter in their life rather than wallow in self-pity or spite towards their ex. I have never been married, but I have broke up with men and the feelings can be just as hard to deal with as a divorce. It is better to accept the relationship did not work out and start working on the path to happiness and renewal. One of the book I enjoyed reading is It Is Called A Break-up Because It Is Broken, which helps people learn to accept no all relationships are meant to work. Thanks for writing this interesting hub.


Ananta65 8 years ago

For most of us it takes courage to let go.


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Any excuse to have a party!! lol, but seriously, should the Divorce party be bigger than the wedding or smaller!?


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Hi, Sweetiepie: I thought I was up to date with the times, but I admit I had never heard of divorce parties or cakes for divorce parties until my friend invited me and I wrote this hub.

Ananta: Yes, it does take courage to let go because oftena way of life ends; sort of like a death or transition.

Compu-smart: Good question, LOL! Did you know there are cultures that celebrate death?

Thanks all for stopping by! :)


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Yes, indeed i did and in this world, i usually say nothing surprises me but i get surprised everyday!!

Ohh, I think the divorce party should definitely be bigger!:D


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 8 years ago from Northern California

Are the children invited to the party? How do they feel?


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Hi, glassvisage: Just saw your comment, my hubmail is not working so I don't get announcements when I receive comments. I have to check them manually.

And in regard to your question, I don't know how her two little girls feel, but that is a good question and will ask her.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Glassvisage: I emailed Kerri and asked her your question, and she said her daughters who are 7 and 9 will not be at the party or know that there is a party or else they will want to participate. Kerri just wants to enjoy and chill with her guests, not get into mommy mode and worry about her daughters on that day. Guess they are too young to know its a sort of a rite of passage party or to be at the party.


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

VioletSun- I never knew people had such parties but I can understand when some people want to just let go of their past. I for one believe life is meant to move on from one stage to another and once one goes through to the next stage (and if they undo that stage) then it is equally tough(also painful) to again begin from the start. I can't imagine how tough it must be. Nice info about these sort of parties. Thumbs up for informing me.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

CW: Hey, I was thinking of you, and also Ashwin, and how it was nice connecting to you. I also had no idea about these type of parties, until Kerri sent us an invitation- its a rite of passage.

Thanks for visiting, hope you are doing well. :)


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Maybe your thought flow affected me also to remember about you today. Yes I am doing well and I am going to be off from hub pages for a while due to personal reasons. Even I was wondering about Ashwin and sent him an email too(I hope everything is fine at his end). May God Bless him and take care of him (he is a very nice gentlemen and always courteous in me as addressing Ms...)


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

CW: I will miss you, but will look forward to your being back. I am not as active now, as I have been focused on other things. Ashwin was going to take a few weeks off, and will be back.


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Even I will miss you all. Btw I meant "courteous in addressing me as Ms...". Thanks for informing me that Ashwin is fine and it was a planned break for him. Bye take care.


Whikat 7 years ago

Wow, what an inspirational article. Your friend sounds like a very strong person and finds creative ways to change negative into positive. Thanks for the great read.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Whikat: She is an amazing woman, only 33 years old, and has written and published a book, does seminars, radio interviews because she is very passionate about everything. I tell her she is an inspiration.

Thanks for your comments!

  


Idoknot profile image

Idoknot 6 years ago

I totaly agree. Welcome Kerri to the "single EXperience."


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Idoknot: Its two years later and Kerri is doing great. She is a Life Coach, has been on TV, does public speaking and workshops. Its fascinating to watch somehow grow because she never gives up and is forward moving.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

I tip my glass and offer up cheers for her freedom to be able to get out from under a stagnated marriage. If people would put more effort into preparation for a marriage before actually committing to vows that so many break, maybe there would be no need for a divorce party.

However maybe the divorce party should be bigger than the actual wedding day to celebrate the freedom to live again and be true to yourself.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie Author

Saddlerider: A divorce party bigger than a wedding? Sounds like fun! Thanks for reading and adding your comments. Nice to see this hub coming back to life. :)

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