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How To Save The World In Four Minutes

Updated on July 28, 2008

There are many words below this video. In order for them to make any sense, you should first watch it, then read them. It will be fun.

Well, I'm out of time, and all I got is four minutes, eh? I'm out of time, and all I've got is four minutes to save the world. Some might think that this is an impossible mission, but given that I've got a banging backing track and some miscellaneous street dancers, not to mention the youthful exuberance that is Justin Timberlake on my side, I'm pretty sure that we'll save in the world in less than four minutes with a mixture of inane prancing and pronounced ego stroking.

Of course, I am already out of time, but I do have four minutes, which means we're already existing in a bizzare space time anomaly. Let me push this car with my ass whilst the world around me crystalizes into big black lumps which make people dissolve mid kiss so that you can see their tongues inside their mouths. This is very relevant to my mission.

I want somebody to speed it up, then take it down slow. I also want to inexplicably dance about in a car park. Time is waiting, we only got four minutes to save the world. Grab a boy, grab a girl. Climb inside a car. Don't drive it anywhere, just loll about in the back seat for a bit before climbing out the other side like a pair of escaped chimpanzees.

Let's get undressed in a bathroom. So far, saving the world seem to bear an uncanny resemblance to going out on a Friday night with that cougar in the corner who doesn't know that the younger bar drones actually have a bet on to see how many of them can score inside an hour. Do you want to score me? I bet you do. Look how sexy I dance!

Sometimes I think what I need is a UN intervention. Hey, look at that! We're in a supermarket now! Let's dance on the sliding check out counters whilst you say my name over and over again. I've pretty much given up on the idea of saving the world at this point, let me show you my kitty impression, reow!

Tick Tock, Tick Tock What's my name? Madonna? Or Denny Crane? Where am I? Why is that giant clock on the wall? Who are you? Do you like my skin colored corset? Look how wide I can spread my legs! I'm still young! And hot! I bet you want to have sex with me, don't you?

Breakdown. Uh. Yeah. Only got four minutes. To, uh, save the world, uh. Looks like we messed up. Wanna hook up instead? Okay.

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