It Is Always A Minority I Am In That Is Involved In A Scandal Geez
Why Is It Always A Minority Group That I'm In That Is In Trouble?! - Don't Get Me Started!
So I'm sure by now you've all heard about the Jew that tried to bomb the gay Pride parade in Jerusalem. I can't help it, every time I see a headline that has "Gay" or "Jew" or "Teacher Has Affair With Student" I start to cringe. (And no, I've never been a teacher who had an affair with a student) Why is it always a minority group that I'm in that is in trouble?! - Don't Get Me Started!
So apparently the story goes that a 32-year old Orthodox Jew was caught with a bomb that he had made to throw at the marching gays. God love Israel's police (cause you know that they don't fuck around). They apprehended him and no one missed a step of the march. The Orthodox Jews are mighty upset about the gays marching on what they consider a holy place, Jerusalem. I get it and understand they're all fired up but come on people, stop with the holy ground and start living holy lives before you get all holier than thou.
The point is that if you're like me, the minute you read the headline, you're sick to your stomach. "Jewish bomber seized before Jerusalem gay parade" - it just kills me. I know that it's accurate but I start to cringe and I can't help myself because I'm like, "Oh here we go, another thing for the religious right to go off on us Jews and gays about." This is the story they'll jump on. First we're going to hell because we're Jews and rounding second we're making bombs, coming up to third base it's in Jerusalem and sliding home for the kill, the gays caused it by marching. Home Run! And that my friends, is what we call a born again Christian Grand Slam. (And I don't even like parades, dammit!)
It's like when you see the headlines about the teachers who have had sex with a student. I can't help it, I read the headline and then I say a little prayer. "Oh dear God, please, please, I am begging you. Make it some white blonde chick with a football player. Don't make it the boys' swim coach with the team or the girls' soccer coach with her goalie. Please, please, I beg of you." I know it's wrong but I can't help myself. I know for some of you you're going to leave my site and go scouting around for porn with the above scenarios immediately (and what you do on your own time is your business) but when it comes to public scandal, I always hope it's a male teacher who has had sex with a girl student instead of with a boy. Why? You know why, because if it's a male teacher and a male student then we have to listen to the Rush Limbaughs of the world go off about the gays trying to "recruit" and "bring young boys into the gay fold" (Let's face it, when it comes to folds, most young gay boys are more interested in folding jeans at the Gap than joining Mr. Murphy from Science class in an anatomy lesson over the bunson burner!).
No matter what, I can't seem to escape being in the minority that has done something so egregious that it makes my Jewish guilt sensors go off the charts. Suddenly I want to go around saying to complete strangers, "Look at me, I'm Jewish and gay but I'm in a long term relationship, I rescued two stray cats, I vote and I call my mother at least once a day. I'm a good person. See??? Pay no attention to the Jew bomber or the PE teacher giving physical exams with her tongue on girl students behind the curtain. I can give you a list of at least ten other gays who are good people too, honest I can."
Perhaps some would say that I'm too sensitive and that there's plenty of scandal to go around. I guess that's why we cheer when there's a straight involved in some sort of scandal. We have to bring them down like they do to us but the thing about doing that is that no one wins. Not the victims, and certainly not the group of people who are associated with the offender, whether they be men, women, black, white, Jews, gays or one of the Jackson family. And so I'll continue to open my Google news or CNN.com with one eye open, saying my little prayer that today will not be the day I see a headline that involves any group I'm associated with, all the while knowing my prayers won't be answered. Why is it always a minority group that I'm in that is in trouble?! - Don't Get Me Started!
Read more Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com
More by this Author
Here I thought that there would be certain phrases that we would never have to hear again. You know, like "Cowabunga" from when the Simpsons first came out or "What's uaaaaaaaaaaap?" from that...