Men, Let’s Leave The Ascot To Mr. Howell From Gilligan’s Island, Shall We?
The first time I saw it on someone on American Idol, I thought that a stylist had gotten to one of the contestants and convinced him it was cool and the kid was just dumb enough to not know the difference but now I'm starting to see it on everyone from Idol wannabes to the trainer from Biggest Loser Couples. The ascot has always seemed more than a bit pompous to me and I don't really understand the reason for them either back in the day nor today. The only person I can really think of who looked "right" with an ascot on was indeed Jim Backus as Thurston Howell III on Gilligan's Island. With his clenched teeth way of upper crusty talking it just seemed to fit. So to all of you out there who are considering it (and you know that there are many fashion victims out there who go with whatever the latest trend is which started by some gay putting it on a mannequin at Macy's) men, let's leave the ascot to Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island, shall we? - Don't Get Me Started!
Come on, think about it for a minute. While the fashionistas would like you to believe that the jump from tie to ascot is a small one, I'm here to tell you the truth. The ascot is right up there with other failed attempts at creating neck fashion for men. Let's face it, many have tried to replace the tie but let's look at the options. I mean, who really likes a bolo tie? (Okay, as loathed as I am to admit it my father recently had to go somewhere and considered wearing his bolo tie - I have to qualify this. My father is a real life cowboy who used to break horses, even though he plays a pharmacist in real life. Well apparently at one of his positions he held as a manager, he was supposed to wear a tie and as my father has always hated wearing ties, his bolo tie from the 1970's was his idea of the way to get around wearing a real tie. The only saving grace for me was that it was not a Lucite one with a scorpion in it or something even more God awful.) Then there's the "kissin' cousin" of the bolo tie, the string tie. This can only be worn if you are indeed performing at the Grand Old Opry, play a banjo or have Porter or Wagoner somewhere in your name. (Let's face it, lots of kids out there running about with those as a middle name, right?) True, there's the neckerchief but really that's just a transitional neck piece. If you're wearing one of these you're either going to pull it up over your nose to rob the stage that leaves from Tucson at high noon or you're turning it to the side and saying, "Howdy Doody!" Funny that all the trying to break away from the necktie fashions are by those ever loving Western wearing cowboys, huh? True, there was the open collared shirt with the many chains that started in the 70's thanks to those "Eyetalians" and the Disco era but we have to remember that this also caused Mr. T to have to go to a chiropractor on a regular basis. No, all things considered, sorry to say there's nothing out there like a great silk tie, gents.
So before it "catches on" like the parachute pants, gloves with the fingers cut out (are you listening Paula Abdul?) and acid wash jeans, I'm asking you men to please resist this urge. Isn't it enough that you're walking around with those silly hats on that make you look as though you want to be a 1950's black man or Frank Sinatra? It's enough all ready don't you think? Men, let's leave the ascot to Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island, shall we? - Don't Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somlikeitscott.com
More by this Author
Here I thought that there would be certain phrases that we would never have to hear again. You know, like "Cowabunga" from when the Simpsons first came out or "What's uaaaaaaaaaaap?" from that...