When Paris Went To Prison - A Nostalgic Look At Times Gone By
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The Paris Hilton Breast Mystery
Paris in prison, the first chapter
A shocking event took in mid 2007, as a Judge sentenced Paris Hilton, heiress to the Hilton fortune, to 45 days in jail for driving on a suspended license. Her initial reaction was one of shock and dismay. "I told the truth yesterday. I feel that I was treated unfairly." She said of her day in court, where she tried to use the age old 10 years and under defense of “but I didn't know”. She felt that her sentence was "both cruel and unwarranted", and was determined to appeal it.
No-one else seemed to particularly think that it was cruel or unwarranted, after all, she'd been caught driving with the papers that told her that her license was suspended actually in her car. Elliot Mintz, her rep was the only one to really step to her defense, claiming that the whole misunderstanding was his fault, and resigning from his position.
This lasted all of a day before he was rehired. One assumes the Hilton's realized that no-one else could do such a great job of spinning their daughter's craziness into something that sounds somewhat acceptable, or at least remotely human.
In the ensuing days, Paris and her supporters leapt into action. A petition was started on line, asking Governor Schwarzenegger for a pardon, and protesters gathered in New York. Three of them. Yes, you got that right, three. Most supporters would dissipate quietly in shame at discovering that there were only three of them, but like Paris, her protesters have no sense of shame, or their own unimportance.
Most of the outrage experienced was experienced by Paris alone, and it was fair to say that there was plenty of glee abounding in the tabloids, the rest of the media, the general public, perhaps in the hearts of little children everywhere, perhaps not.
For a while things seemed grim for Paris, a jumpsuit and shackles were looming, as was harassment by fellow prisoners, many of whom were estimated to have quite an interest in making themselves very familiar with the lily white Paris. It was enough to scare anyone, and Paris skipped out on yet another trial she was supposed to attend, claiming that she was emotionally distraught and traumatized. Her shrink wrote a letter to the judge, and Paris had her second day in court deferred for a while.
The next development was a shocker. Paris dropped her appeal! Why? Well as it turned out, Paris would only serve 23 days in jail, and she would serve them in a special cell block reserved for high profile prisoners such as celebrities, policemen, political figures, and other people that your average inmate lovingly prepares a toothbrush shank for.
It would seem that Paris would be safe, and she accepted her punishment graciously at long last, and is planning to write a diary of her days in jail, which should make for scintillating reading. I doubt Paris' thoughts are particularly interesting at the best of times, imagine what they'll be like after 23 hours straight in her cell...