Should Married Women Be Allowed To Date?

Married Women Allowed to DATE?

As a married woman myself, I say married women should definitely be allowed to date! Married women should without a doubt keep dating to keep them feeling attractive and to keep them from being too consumed with all of the burdens of the house and raising the children. Of course, married women should only be dating their husbands; that goes without saying.

At first…

When you first met the man you decided to marry, I'm sure you felt like you could not get enough of him. You counted the moments until you were to see him next, you waited excitedly for the doorbell to ring so you could greet him at the door, you would stay up all hours of the night talking to him about almost anything just because you enjoyed the sound of his voice, and you would work all day and still have the energy to go out with him in the evening. And when you saw him, you always dressed your best, had makeup on, hair fixed, and gave him a VERY friendly kiss hello.

And then…

Then came marriage, kids, and, well... life. Now, sure you count the moments until he comes home - the little ones have been very needy today and you need someone to watch the kids so you can have 5 minutes to yourself. AND HE HAD BETTER NOT RING THAT DOORBELL AND WAKE THE BABY OR ELSE! Talking? Yes, we should definitely find time to talk after the kids go to bed. The car was making a funny noise today and hopefully nothing is really wrong with it. As for going out, you are kidding, right? After working at home all day today, getting supper out of the way, the kids bathed and in bed, all you want to do is clean the kitchen and then go to bed yourself. Oh, and by the time he came home, you are lucky to have had a shower, hair brushed and pulled back in a headband, and clean (but comfortable) clothes put on. When he came in, did you remember to tell him "Hello" and maybe throw in a "How was your day"? Sure hope so.

The Date

Okay, so maybe it isn't that bad or maybe it is worse depending on where you are in life. (People with newborns will know what I'm talking about.) Things are different now, definitely. You are both still basically the same people you were when you were dating, you are just in different situations now with different responsibilities. That is why it is important to still date.

Now, let's be realistic, we aren't talking as often as before; just enough to keep the old "date" feeling alive. Some prefer once a month, some prefer more often, some prefer less often. It depends on the extent you take your date (see ideas), but I prefer at least once a month.

There are a few very strict rules you should follow:

  • No children allowed (Babysitter is an absolute requirement if you have kids)
  • No discussing the children (This one took me some time to get used to.)
  • No talking about finances
  • No chatting about problems with the house (or any other problems for that matter)
  • No arguing over any sensitive topics (Don't use this time to discuss which parents house you are going to visit for Thanksgiving.)
  • Get dressed up for each other
  • Hold hands, make contact! Husband, put your hand on her knee; Wife, rub your fingers on the back of his neck while he's driving. (This is something that seems so minor, but you forget how the small contact throughout the evening will make a difference.)
  • Keep each other's likes, dislikes and schedules in mind when deciding on when and what to do on the date. (If she hates the heat, don't plan a picnic in July. If he has an important meeting the next day, maybe that particular night is not the best choice.)
  • Complement each other (be sincere)

Other than that, just remember that the goal of this is to spend time being with each other and involved with each other. (My husband and I can be in the same room doing work and laundry at the same time; this is not the "spending time" I'm talking about here.) The reason you are not discussing the children is the children are not what brought you together in the first place. It is too easy to let them be a driving factor in your life 24/7 - on date night, they are not your responsibility or your concern. The only concern you should have is the person you are with that evening. (Chances are your husband has not had your undivided attention for more than 10 minutes in quite a while and vice versa.)

Ideas

The ideas for date night are unlimited. Not every date night should be all nighters, but some now and then would definitely be beneficial. Although it is hard not to find one you like, I strongly suggest mixing it up and keep trying new things. This is your one night to relax and to do what you want. Don't get into old habits on your date nights as well. Also, even if money is tight, there are ideas you can use that cost little or nothing besides what you would normally eat for dinner.

Here are just some starter ideas for your dates.

A romantic dinner is always a good start to any good date. It can be at a restaurant - at a fine restaurant, at her/his favorite restaurant, or that one restaurant you have always wanted to try. It could be a picnic - on the beach, in the park, in a field, or that favorite spot you had when you were dating. It can even be at your house or apartment. With this one, you have to be more careful. You do not want to break into old routines. Save the dishes until tomorrow or burn candles and have music playing while you both clean the dishes.

Other good additions to date night could include:

  • Watching the sunset
  • Taking a stroll in the moonlight (hand in hand)
  • Midnight swims (one of my favorites!)
  • Mutual foot rubs
  • Oil massages
  • Giving each other a bath

The list really could go on - these are just some that I particularly like. I am strongly against the movie theater for date night if you are only getting one a month or less. This is too public and you have no time for each other. If you are a movie buff, at lease rent a movie and spoon on the couch or do the mutual foot rub while you watch the movie.

Also, for these evenings at home, candles, music, and sparkling cider or wine can come in very handy to help set a romantic mood. Just remember that the goal is to relax, forget all your problems and enjoy each other's company. Remember those days when you used to only want to be with each other. Let go of everything else for the evening as hard as it will be.

Now, Husbands, do not assume that any further "benefits" will always be a given. Like most things, this will depend on the mood and the progression of the evening; most times, these dates have very happy endings. On those occasions when, for whatever reason, it is "not in the stars", you will gain more in the long run not to pressure wife. You do not want her to look at these dates as automatic fend off sessions. You will be rewarded in the long run if she knows that you are understanding when she needs you to be.

Prioritize

One last thing to remember is that with "life", sometimes things get in the way. This has to be made a priority. If you decide on once a month, schedule it in advance, take a day off from work, or do whatever you have to do to make sure this happens. It is too easy to say "maybe next week" or "we'll let it slip this month". Make this a top priority - you will definitely not regret it!

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Comments 110 comments

jreuter profile image

jreuter 8 years ago from Portland, Oregon

This is so important. So many marriages could benefit from taking this advice and using it. My parents started doing "date nights" a few years ago, and it appears to have helped a lot. Great, well-written Hub, nice work!


The How To Hub profile image

The How To Hub 8 years ago from Australia

This is wonderful : ) Romancing your partner is essential. Love your choice of images too. A thumbs up for this one!


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Thank you both. This occurred to me after my husband and I spent an hour at a brunch after a doctor's appointment and realized how it felt so much like a date because we didn't have kids with us for once. We joked about what disease or illness we could come up with so we could get away like that without the kids once in a while. After the kidding was over, we started really talking about how nice the day way. Thus date night was started.It is absolutely wonderful to get a little one on one time when life is so crazy!


WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

Fantastic hub New Reflections! My wife and I have date nights on Tuesday's and they are reserved for just "us" time. It's the best thing one can do for a marriage! I was told to never stop dating my wife...boy is that true!

Welcome to hubpages, glad to see you here!


blynn profile image

blynn 8 years ago from Pennsylvania

i love this hub!!!!! great pics too!


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

WeddingConsultant, thank you. I admire that you and your wife can get a night a week. With two toddlers, we struggle with one date night a month. I wouldn't trade those nights for anything, though. Those are the one night I can forget everything else.

blynn, thanks. I have to admit I had fun looking for pictures for this hub.


dafla 8 years ago

Nice hub. I too, believe in date night.


tdrusk 8 years ago

This hub originally confused me. I thought you were trying to generate controversy.

Good post. I'll remember this.


billhutchison profile image

billhutchison 8 years ago from Australia

This is a great tip to help keep the spark going in a marriage. I find it so easy to get too busy and consumed by life's troubles and the kdis, and miss out on these special times together as a husband and wife.


JAY777 profile image

JAY777 8 years ago

When i get married (which i'm planning soon) i will most likely do this advice. Coming from parents who had a broken marriage (i would like to use this phrase rather than use the broken family phrase), this is a great idea.thanks


Erin Hill 8 years ago

Great hub! Since my daughter was born, my husband and I have neglected our dates nights. We always went out once a week and had fun, even when money was tight. I can definitely feel the stress between us now that we never take the time to reconnect and decompress. That midnight swim sounds nice...wonder where we can do that since we don't have a pool. Hmmm...


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Love da hub! very romantic and good advice!


Stay at Home Dad profile image

Stay at Home Dad 8 years ago from Georgia

A timely hub, New Reflection. Great advice that will definitely enrich the marriages of all who heed. Looking forward to more from you...


xrated profile image

xrated 8 years ago

Looks like a nice topic.


02SmithA profile image

02SmithA 8 years ago from Ohio

I didn't know what to think when I first saw this topic, but I completely agree. Good stuff!


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

I just celebrated my 25th this year. Learn to celebrate everyday and keep the music alive. I got lots of restaurant gift cards for Christmas and Birthday. When we go out to eat it is free.


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Thank you all for your comments. I have to admit I really enjoyed writing this hub and stongly believe in it. Thanks!


funnebone profile image

funnebone 8 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

wow..you suckered us in with that first paragraph....I am not married so I only wrote some things down and looked at the pictures..very good job


mcarolyn profile image

mcarolyn 8 years ago from Philippines

It's such an inspiring article especially to all couples. it helps out strengthen the relationship and keeps the feeling of being "in love" all tht time..


servizot profile image

servizot 8 years ago from Paradise Island

You are definitely right, married woman should date this is what keeps the wedding alive! :)


WeddingConsultant profile image

WeddingConsultant 8 years ago from DC Metro Area

scorpionmagnet, did you even read the article?


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

I´m sure he didn´t but I must admit when I first read the title I was thinking this was a women liberation hub LOL. After reading it I can´t agree more with the idea of married couples dating. I try to date my wife as much as our daughter allows.


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Wow... you are all wonderful and I appreciate your words of wisdom and encouragement...

Scorpionmagnet- I am afraid you have completely misunderstood where I was coming from with this hub, sorry for the confusion

funride- my husband and I know where you are coming from!


solarcaptain profile image

solarcaptain 8 years ago from california

Many marriages are vitalized by this one technique. This is a great hub. All those in a loving relationship would do well to try this.

The pictures are so evocative and suggest romance and mystery. What a combination!

Me da gusto mucho Senora


t.keeley profile image

t.keeley 8 years ago from Seattle, WA

This is beautiful. I was given a small gift from someone I know to take my ife out for a date. There's a lot of things that came to mind when I was given the gift too: where to go, what to eat, how to dress, etc.My biggest problem when out on a date is talking. I talk about money, I talk about our bills, etc. It had occurred to me before to keep my big mouth shut, but thanks for the reminder. I've set the date for this weekend and I'm actually looking forward to it, even if we "can't afford it." :)

You live once...are you going to let money decide everything about your life?


twogroce profile image

twogroce 8 years ago

I love this hub! I feel that it is so important to make time for one another. It is so easy to get lost in the kids, house work, bills, appointments it's enough to drive you nuts. Setting aside special time for your each other is so important. I am a romanic at heart and love getting attension. Planning a romantic surprise and playing flirting games throughout the day prior to your date gets you both in the mood.


rakeshmore_7779 profile image

rakeshmore_7779 8 years ago from mumbai

A nice photo


Bellywinks 8 years ago

Great topic. I told my husband once that the biggest turn on for me was having a conversation with him that had nothing to do with us or the kids or money etc. It is that connection to how we used to be that is so important.


talford profile image

talford 8 years ago from U.S.A.

Great hub! LOL You got me with your hook, (The title) LOL-again.

Good job. I think I can learn a lot from your hubs.

Tom


denisewrtr37 profile image

denisewrtr37 8 years ago from Philadelphia

Great hub! You pulled me in with the headline (smile).

Denise


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Thanks to all for your comments.

The main reason I wrote this hub was to remind everyone how important romance is for maintaining a strong marriage. I really appreciate all of your thoughtful words...


karan42 profile image

karan42 8 years ago from India

Great job ! You are such a nice man who have deep thinking about socity


Karen N profile image

Karen N 8 years ago from United States

Great topic, loved the article :)


mother of three profile image

mother of three 8 years ago from Small town Kentucky

I love the hub. I have three kids and my husband and I find it hard to still "date". Sometimes it seems almost not worth it when we start the planning. Then once we're there we find that it was worth every bit of the struggle to get to that point. We have even got my sister-in-law to babysit when we were feeling a little disconnected from each other. That night we didn't have a dime of extra money. We took a blanket outside and laid on the ground looking at stars like you did when you were little. We talked about everything and nothing all at the same time. It's nice to see that other couples do the same thing we do.


mecola 8 years ago from paducah,ky

omg no way should married wemon be alowed to date that is cheating r u an idiot.


Stay at Home Dad profile image

Stay at Home Dad 8 years ago from Georgia

mecola, did you bother to read the hub before commenting?


lotiontown 8 years ago

More people should take this advice and there would be far fewer divorces.

http://howto-runacaronwater.com


KT pdx profile image

KT pdx 8 years ago from Vancouver, WA, USA

I'm getting married next month, and have been living with my boyfriend for three years now. One of the best things about our relationship is that we still have date nights! We just went out to lunch two days ago at a nice restaurant, after buying our wedding rings. It was so wonderful to get out, have some time to ourselves, and not talk about wedding plans, just talk and laugh. We are definitely going to keep dating throughout our marriage.


pgrundy 8 years ago

Cute! I was definitely drawn in by the catchy title. A really good hub, thank you!


Cailin Gallagher profile image

Cailin Gallagher 8 years ago from New England

Great ideas for the loving couples out there.


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Thanks so much for responding all of you. A couple of quick follow-ups...

mother of three-

Point well made. It truly doesn't require any money to keep the date night alive. It's just a matter of setting aside time for each other.

KT pdx-

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I am sure you will have a wonderful life together especially if you keep date night alive! Best to you...

pgrundy & Cailin-

Thank you for you kind words and for reading my hub...


charleschan profile image

charleschan 8 years ago

Why not, after all we are human beings, we need to enjoy ourselves. Mixing around to seek more friends. We have to limit and not go beyond it.


mulder profile image

mulder 8 years ago from Warnbro Western Australia

great idea I must show this hub to my wife lol


Sandilyn profile image

Sandilyn 8 years ago from Port Orange, FL

This is a very importaant hub. You did an excellent job! I will say that my ex and I always did this and it meant so much. It was a solid part of our foundation. We always had that time set aside for us. Away fro day-to-day life.

I have one thing to add. We always spent a certain amount of time together when we where both finally home. We would go to our bedroom, close the door and just talk.


flutterbug77 profile image

flutterbug77 8 years ago from USA

Great advice. I agree, you have to keep the fire burning or it will go out. It's hard to keep your relationship exciting with everyday worries and kids etc. but so important to take that time with each other.


Madderzteaparty profile image

Madderzteaparty 8 years ago

Ha ha, when I read the beginning of this, I thought you were saying married women should be allowed to date OTHER men.


J_Eds profile image

J_Eds 8 years ago from Blackpool

^^ Above me too!!!

How refreshing though, what a great hub!


C.V.Rajan profile image

C.V.Rajan 8 years ago from Kerala, India

I must appreciate your smartness in the choice of the title! Well done.

Good ideas - no doubt, well presented.

I would like to add a point:

- Avoid the dating when the wife has Pre Menstrual Syndrome.A woman's mood has a strong bearing on the success of dating (with the husband). PMS is one major factor that can turn things ugly.

CVR


budwood profile image

budwood 8 years ago from Southern Nevada

Yes, I too thought that the dating referred to unrestricted dating - - which I do not consider a bad policy.  My wife has a number of male friends plus on one morning a week goes to play pool with a group of "geezers" without me.  All seem to enjoy the "date".

I don't "own" my wife, and just figure that a loosely held "bird" will be less likely to want to fly away that will one held in a tight grip.

And we do have dates and even go on vacations together.


Grit29 profile image

Grit29 8 years ago from Clinton Township, Michigan

Great Hub! Too often we forgot how hard it is to sustain happiness in a marriage. During the courtship, we work so hard to make each other happy and it feels like once we reach the pinnacle, marriage, we can stop working and forget about everything else.

Marriage takes work every day to be successful. Continue the courtship and you will have a happier marriage. I love how you stressed the importance of dating your spouse! Thanks for the hub!


Jyle Dupuis profile image

Jyle Dupuis 8 years ago from Henrico, Virginia

Great tips.


adrianeke 8 years ago

what really keep a wedding alive is not dating!!!

Is LOVE, you fouls!!


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Again- I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to comment on my hub. A few thoughts for some of you:

flutterbug77- You are so right. Marriage is hard work. I would be willing to bet the divorce rate would drop if all couples invested a little more time in their marriages.

Madderzteaparty & J_Eds- Made you look! But really, I’m glad you took the time to read and comment.

C.V.Rajan- As a suffer of PMS, I can relate to your sentiments

budwood- Interesting approach. It all begins with trust, and as long as you have mutual trust then more power to you.

Grit29- Well stated. I really couldn’t have made your point any better than you did.

adrianeke- You’re sweet. Did you read my hub before you made comment?


oryzana profile image

oryzana 8 years ago from asia

great hub. but the title .. well the content is really good. me and my husband haven't been dating since we got married... if only he can read this article ...

thanks anyway.


Vamily profile image

Vamily 8 years ago from Western Cape, Kuilsriver

romantic !


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

oryzana-

I know what you mean. But it so important to keep romance alive in marriage.

Vamily-

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reading... :)


Don Simkovich profile image

Don Simkovich 8 years ago from Pasadena, CA

I've told my wife that one of the toughest things for spouses to express in a marriage is talking about sexuality . . . and expressing the need for intimacy . . . we've made wonderful progress in this area . . . but there are too many who don't care to stop and take the time to date and really listen to the other . . .


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

This is a wonderful hub! This reminded me of the couples of a community where I attended before and one of the things they regularly do is to schedule a once a week date. I found it to be really cute and inspiring. :)


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

Fantastic Hub! I date my dearly beloved all the time. when work is getting her (or me) down I make an appointment sometimes even by outlook calendar. Mostly dinner. I have a standing date for Saturday evenings and even they are grown up no kids or even friends allowed on these dates. dinner with friends or kids are considered social occasions an not dates. We need this "date time " together. Holidays (vacations) are a long date.

i love this hub


michellemoseley profile image

michellemoseley 8 years ago from New Hampshire

Great hub. You certainly have a way of making a person wonder what it's all about by your title. I almost didn't read because I thought it was going to be about cheating women. What a pleasant surprise to see that that's not it at all.

My husband and I have date night once a week. We don't let anything change that if possible. ( emergencies come up from time to time) We really look forward to this time for just the two of us. We bought a massage table and use that frequently. I highly recommend it. It is SO relaxing.

Thanks for this great hub and keep um coming!!!

Michelle


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Don-

You are exactly right, which is why I think divorce has become so common place.

ripplemaker-

Thank you for your kind words.

sixtyorso-

How awesome that you still make an effort to keep romance alive in your relationship. Best to you and your beloved! J

Michelle-

I love the message table idea. I just might look into that in the near future…

Thanks to all of you for reading and for taking the time to leave your thoughtful comments…


betherickson profile image

betherickson 8 years ago from Minnesota

Nicely done. Very encouraging and inspiring. Keeping the romance alive to each other will lead to a strong and faithful relationship. Great hub!


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 8 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

It is such great and romantic hub. I wish all of women fulfilling of that dream... especially to you (as well as to myself). Romance has to continue in relationship, otherwise there is no love-relationship any more (only duty because of kids)...We need the romance, romance is magick of the live...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

What a great hub, I have benn married for 17 years and yes, I do want to date, my husband of course. I think women get caught up in the lives of their family and sometimes loose a little bit of who they are. They need time with their spouse to reclaim the person they used to be. I am refer things this hub to my husband, and just maybe he will ask me out.


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Im going to get married in 5 months time and reading your article gave me some tips on how to have a great marriage with a happy wife. We take a lot of things for granted once we get married and forgetting to impress our wife is one of them. How nice it would be once a week to dress up and imress her with a romantic movie and a even more romantic dinner? Or an hour boat ride down the river? your hub is fantastic and the pictures were great too. thumbs up girl


jerrymind 8 years ago

Fabbergasted!!I didn't know what to think when I first saw this topic, but I completely agree. Good stuff!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

At first I was thinking, "well, does the husband get to date too," and then of course saw what it was about. It's a great idea. Sharing new experiences with each other can help keep things interesting. Nice hub!


rarestone1 profile image

rarestone1 8 years ago

Catchy title! As I was reading I thought, hang on, what is she on about? But hey, very good advice and nice tips! I will most certainly take them on board.


guidebaba profile image

guidebaba 8 years ago from India

Yes, Married Men should be allowed to Date. Otherwise, why should any woman date a man knowing he is married. Ofcourse she is interrested. Cheers !!!


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Wow! Sorry I have been away so long and neglected responding to all of your thoughtful comments. I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to share your words with me. I am hopeful that all who read this hub will take the words to heart and keep the flame alive- or maybe rekindle the fire if it has been extinguished.

guidebaba- I think you misunderstood. Of course it is not ok for a married man or woman to date anyone other than each other.


Trsmd profile image

Trsmd 8 years ago from India

When a Married Man is allowed to Date why not a Married Woman? Good topic...


ckmoloy profile image

ckmoloy 8 years ago

Yes or No » Is it essential or not! Question does not arrise as b'coz "Married Women Allowed to DATE" if so then go ahead; who locked U? why there's be a binding among Wife&Husband? Break it! Free & Free & free......


philosopher69 8 years ago from LongBeach, California

absolutely at least once a month a married couple should act as though they are in a courting relationship. They should even role play as though they are meeting for the very 1st time. Spend that money on a nice Bed and breakfast with an in room fireplace and jacuzzi tub. Make a weekend of it Men's health magazine says that couples who get away more than twice a year are happier and have better sex lives


efeglo profile image

efeglo 8 years ago from Nigeria

Please can someone tell me since you got married to him/her, when you both visited nice places last? but when you were engaged to each other, you go to nice places right? Do it again and again other wise she will look bouring at home and think of finding someone who will TAKE HER OUT OOOOOOOOOOOO


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Trsmd-

Not sure if you are being serious or not- but I am all for married men AND women dating… as long as they are dating their spouses! J

ckmoloy-

Ok- not sure where you are coming from and you are freaking me out a little… I feel anything but locked into my marriage because I am madly in love with my spouse.

philosopher69-

Couldn’t have said it any better myself…

efeglo-

Excellent point! I firmly believe the downfall of many marriages can be linked to the lack of intimacy between spouses. And I not talking about just sex, but all aspects of a courtship.


t.keeley profile image

t.keeley 8 years ago from Seattle, WA

So what do you do if you're so poor you can't afford nice nights out? :(


Jamster2759 8 years ago

A beautiful HUB, very nice pictures...,but on the content? Pyscho-Babble?

Life is hard?? People Change?? Is it Love or is it Lust? I just think of those words..."foresaking all others..." as a BIG part of a Marriage. Get Divorced it is easy.. then do all the dating you want... just my thoughts. Thanks


harsh bhatyal 8 years ago

yes, if she think so goahead


mikeq107 8 years ago

Great Hub!!!!!Mike Q


ToddieM profile image

ToddieM 8 years ago from Diamond Bar, CA

My wife and I used to have date nights.

They kind of blew away with the wind.

Closest thing we have now is going to a place that gives foot massages.


ToddieM profile image

ToddieM 8 years ago from Diamond Bar, CA


AEvans profile image

AEvans 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

We have date nights and theya re absolutely wonderful!!! Keeps it spicy :)


alexd181 profile image

alexd181 8 years ago

"Of course, married women should only be dating their husbands; that goes without saying."

An important note!! Heh


redpony profile image

redpony 8 years ago from PA

Great hub! I'm going to forward your advice to my married friend :)


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Hey There All,

Sorry I have taken so long to respond to some of you.  I had to take a short hubpages hiatus. :)

t.keely-

You do not need to spend money to have a date night.  My point is simply to spend more time together; more one on one time.  My husband and I have to find creative ways to spend more time together because of our three children and limited funds.  We have good friends with children that share baby-sitting duty with us so we can have time alone.  Where there is a will, there’s a way!

Jamster2759-  

I am not a psychologist and I am not capable of psycho-babble.  I am not even entirely sure of where you are coming from with your comment.    

No rational person would disagree that life is hard or that people change.  All relationships require maintenance to survive and thrive- and focusing all your attention on your spouse from time to time is a good way to keep your relationship healthy. 

Getting divorced is not easy, and the emotional scars last forever. 

harsh bhatyal-

not sure you understand what I meant

Mikeq107-

Thanks for reading and I wish you the best…

ToddieM-

Anything is better than nothing- and a foot message doesn’t sound half bad right now.  Marriage, or any relationship for that matter, is a lot of work.  Glad that you are still making an effort.

AEvans-

Amen.  A little spice is always nice… ;)

alexd181-

You never know how some people will interpret your words.  I have had plenty of comments from people who truly thought I was advocating married woman dating men OTHER THAN their spouses. 

redpony-

Thanks for passing this info along.  I am no marriage counselor, I am just commenting on things  I have observed and tried in my own marriage.  Date night is something my husband and I look forward to every week, and we’ve been married 5 ½ years now.


alexd181 profile image

alexd181 8 years ago

New Reflection, you know there are actually popular dating sites out there Specifically for married people who want to date other people? I'm glad there are still some people with morals left in the world.


Imani Watson profile image

Imani Watson 8 years ago from New York City

What a smart writer you are. And I love the images too. Bravo. I'll be back for more. Thanks!


Patricia Costanzo profile image

Patricia Costanzo 8 years ago from Behind the Redwood Curtain

Oooooh that hit close to home. Did you use my life for your research or something?

Good Read ;)


Yvonne McDonough profile image

Yvonne McDonough 8 years ago from ENGLAND

at first i thought you meant date other people not your husband lol,, yes romance is very important, kids today who get married and run into a bit of partnership trouble, usally call it a day and look for someone else, love your hub


TeaLover 8 years ago from The Beach

Love this hub


Jeewa 8 years ago

Yes absolutely i should say


shahenh profile image

shahenh 8 years ago from Irvine, California

if you need to date to keep making yourself feel attractive then something is wrong with you. But i have nothing against dates


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 8 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

gr8 choice of content. I don't see why a married woman can't date.


Doctorfox profile image

Doctorfox 8 years ago

Really great hub. Though I'm not married yet, this is something to keep as a silver bullet for the wild stormy times.


Minilady profile image

Minilady 8 years ago

Wow! Great hub. When I saw the title i thought oh god she believes in open marriages! Then I read ahead :)!

Oh yes keeping the romance alive in any marriage is a must. I just celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary and my husband took me for a surprise 7 day vacation to Switzerland. A much needed break from everyday stresses!


VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image

VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA 8 years ago from India.

As Ms. Minilady says, dating with their own husbands for married women is very much risk free. Otherwise, she is bound to face a hundred risks, healthwise, relationships-wise, etc.. etc.. No man will accept another man with his wife. Sure to get out of hand one day or other. So, horrible thinkings should be omitted and we should be adoptive with our customs. Innovative ideas are suitable only for younger unencumbered people only. We should not place the future of our children and family at risk. Keep romance always alive... only with your husband.


VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image

VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA 8 years ago from India.

I am sorry to read the comments of Ms. Anamika. Do you not really know why married women should not date? Just because you are Indian. It will explain itself in every way. You can date only with your husband (if married). Indians are bound by several ethics and epics. Epic will tell how erratic relationships end.


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Wow… I need to get in here and moderate my comments more often. Sorry to those of you that cared enough to leave comment for not responding sooner. Here we go…

alexd181- I have heard about things like “secondlife” and so on, but I did not know there were specific sites designed to help married people find other married people to date. I wish I could say I am surprised, but this is the sad state of morality in the world today. I will say it sickens me, however.

Imani- I had almost as much fun looking for the images for this site as I did writing it.

Patricia- I know many women who feel the way I do- which is part of the reason I wrote this hub. Thank you for reading and I promise I didn’t do any snooping into your life… :)

Yvonne- My greatest hope is this hub may actually convince a young struggling couple (or any struggling couple for that matter) to avoid divorce. Divorce causes much more pain than working through a marriage that may have lost a little of its luster.

Shahenh- I am afraid you misunderstand my motives. It seems as though you know little about women, because even the most beautiful of us feel unattractive from time to time.

Anamika- I hope you didn’t misunderstand. I meant dating your husband, not outside the marriage. :)

Doctorfox- You’re wife will keep you very happy if you go out of your way for her. So glad to know there are guys out there like you. The stormy times are inevitable, but they do not need to control your relationship. Best to you!

Minilady- I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit that the title was chosen to incite the exact response you had. Glad you took the time to read.

Venugopal- I don’t know anything about Indian customs, but I appreciate your insights and comments. I think it is great that the content of thus hub transcends culture and borders.

Thanks to all of you for reading… :)


Sola Shittu profile image

Sola Shittu 8 years ago from LAGOS

It is such an interesting article which actually does not imply dating outside wedlock.The real idea and what it depicts is to encourage evergreen love in marriage in which I agree with absolutely. Such dating is meant to only exist between the married couples so as to have some time out.


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 8 years ago from The Real World Author

Sola Shittu-

Appreciate your insights and thoughts.


HomeDecorations profile image

HomeDecorations 8 years ago from New Jersey, United States

You got me with your title :-) It's Wonderful Hub. I love the pictures too. Anyway, please visit this great website at http://www.sotogifts.net they have a wide selection of products for home, garden and kitchen decorations, unique ornamenst and much more ! Take care and have a wonderful day. Luv ya.


primenet profile image

primenet 8 years ago

Great hub, but my sincere answer is capital NO! Married women should not be allowed to date. Think about.


denise mohan profile image

denise mohan 8 years ago from California

It's what married women know BUT need to b reinforced to do. Thnx for shakin' me up. Putting on the callendar once a month gives me something to look forward to with someone I love. Movie night will b for the second monthly date.


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 7 years ago from The Real World Author

HomeDecorations-

Thanks for reading. I'll be sure to take a look at your sight.

primenet-

I am afraid you misunderstood. I think married women should date their own husbands, not other men.

denise mohan-

It is easy to allow the stresses of work, family, money, etc to interfere with our love-lives. I am glad to know that you are committed to your relationship and I am honored to know that my words may help you to enhance your marriage. Thanks so much for reading... :)


SKlocinski profile image

SKlocinski 7 years ago from Toledo Ohio

I can't for the life of me imagine why a married woman would want to date...isn't putting up with one man enough :)


Marie 7 years ago

well me do have to remember, if you wanted to be single and date, you kinda of should of stayed single, if you wanted to get married then you get married, because your kids are YOUR kids, then didn't bounce in your stomah from no where...


New Reflection profile image

New Reflection 7 years ago from The Real World Author

SKlocinski-

Putting up with one man is definitely enough... no question. But it is fun to spice things up now and then with a little romance or a date night with the guy you've been sleeping with for the last ______ number of years.

Marie- I am afraid you've misundertood the meaning of this hub.


John 6 years ago

I believe it is good and healthy for married women to date other men. I encourage my wife to date other men.


Lucky 4 years ago

John, you are absolutely correct. When my wife, or I, has an outside date, it seems to rejuvenate our marriage. It allows new interests and discussions to develop. We are all prone to get into a rut from time to time with our daily routines. Nothing can shake that up like an outside date for one of the partners. The trick is to be open and honest about it with your partner. Don’t sneak around in the dark behind their back. The dishonesty and cheating is what hurts relationships. There is nothing wrong with a cup of coffee with a friend. Most solid relationship can withstand a little friendly competition. It can actually strengthen the primary relationship by encouraging the spouse to pay more attention to their partner. Don’t knock it until you try it. ?


Don 4 years ago

You have inspired me to plan a great date for my wife and I tonight!

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