Skinny Celebrities and The 'Eat A Damn Cheeseburger' Awards


It's hard once you forget what food even looks like...
It's hard once you forget what food even looks like...

Some people/celebrities are fat, some people are thin, and some people are in the middle somewhere. The in the middlers are either becoming increasingly few in number, or it's simply that were giving the ones with the wild BMI's all the attention. Typical really isn't it. The 'Eat A Damn Cheeseburger' awards have been developed with expert assistance (ie, the advice of my cat, Buttons), and target some of the celebrities that Buttons and I believe should consume more calories in order to look good, have a menstrual cycle, and you know, generally stay alive. But before I start, I'm just going to give you a run down of people who seem quite okay in the weight department.


Katherine Heigl

Rachel Weisz

Jennifer Lopez

Kim Kardashian

Kelly Osbourne

Sandra Bullock

Lucy Liu

Lindsay Lohan (God knows how)

Janene Garafolo

Jessica Alba

Judy Reyes (Carla, on Scrubs)

Sarah Chalke (Elliot, on Scrubs)

There you go, 12, twelve hot ladies, and that's off the top of my head, without even spending a whole day eating Oreos and googling like desperate mole. So ha! Normal people are sexy.

Now, on to the skinny ones. These people are too damn skinny, and have won my eat a damn cheeseburger award. Award winners may contact me, and I will buy them one cheeseburger from the outlet of my choosing. It will be tasty, vaguely nutritious, and full of life giving lipids.


The Olsens (Though this may be unfair, as they may technically be dead)

Keira Knightley (Tough call on this one, because Keira says she's naturally thin and sues people who says she has an eating problem. I'm not saying she has an eating problem, she's probably naturally skinny, but I think she would like a cheeseburger, they are yummy.)

Amy Winehouse (Lay off the drug cocktails, lady)

Courtney Love (Don't care if you had gastric band surgery or if you ate tofu for a year, a cheeseburger for you!)

Nicole Richie (Sure, you got pregnant and got some baby curves, still, keep up the cheeseburgers)

Angelina Jolie (Quit saving the damn world for a second and just stop and enjoy a cheeseburger)


Victoria Beckham

The weight loss here is truly scary. She was slim in the first place, but now, well now we're entering the emaciated zone, which is super not cool. There are kids starving in Africa, so eat a damn cheeseburger and relax a little. She looks tense, doesn't she?

More by this Author

  • Why Does My Bunny Poop So Much?

    If you have a new rabbit, you might be surprised by how much poop it makes. You might even think that it is sick. However, keep in mind that rabbits do poop a lot. In fact, what might seem like up to a hundred or more...

Comments 2 comments

Tiffabee 8 years ago

This is awesome, you would love my blog where we have the cheeseburger rules.

louise fazenda 8 years ago

The new Christina Ricci gets my vote!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article