The Secrets of Successful Dating and Relationships
We would like to present to you series of articles and special reports about personal growth, dating and relationships. They are based on real life experiences and feedback from clients who have sought advice from professional relationships psychologists.
We hope that you will appreciate the power of the messages below and that they will benefit your personal life. We quote as well texts from worldly-renowned relationships psychologists and recommend their sites with FREE information for further reading.
Although we write below from male's point of view, the subject is relevant to the women as well.
You might be a male, who wanders why all your brief encounters with ladies end up in the same manner. They tell you: "I just want to be friends..." or "You are really a nice guy, but I do not feel I am ready for a relationship..." or hundreds similar ones. Have you thought why the same pattern repeats again and again? Well, there is something that you should know and do to change the things.
The advices given below are related not only to the Internet dating, it covers all the aspects of what make men successful with women. We group them in the following steps:
- The Internet dating - the huge advantages.
- Who you really are? Your personality type and state of awareness.
- What do women want?
- The Law of Attraction. How to attract your soul mate?
- Your profile in an Internet dating site - what to include and how to present yourself?
- The follow-up emails. How to make them effective and persuasive to get a date?
- Successful phone calls.
- Meeting her in the real life. How to keep control of the situation and be confident? What to say and how to say it?
- You are now together. The journey just starts. How to keep the love fire on?
- Case studies and Q&A from relationships psychologist.
1. The Internet dating - the huge advantages
Have you ever thought how easier it was to meet a lady in 1960s, for example. There were so many dancing clubs or open night events where young men were going and inviting ladies to a dance. You immediately grab a lady with your arms around her waist and start talking to her face to face. Nowadays this is not possible. It is even considered rude to start chatting with a lady on the street, on a bus stop or even in your gym.
Today people have to think about other ways to find their soul mate. Whatever you do, do not wait and relay on your friends to introduce you to their sisters. How could someone else know what is your deep desire and affection. Finding a soul mate is a personal thing. Be active!
There are several ways of dating offline. Here are some of them:
- Speed dating
- Singles events
- Friend's parties
- Offline dating agencies
- Personal ads
- In bars, pubs and nightclubs
- Taking courses at local colleges
- Joining sport clubs were is possible to make one to one contact and chat.
We recommend you to try some or maybe all of the above way of finding a soul mate with some thoughts in mind. If you for example are in your 20-ties it may sound OK if your find your girl at a nightclub. However if you are looking for a lady aged 30-40 you will not want she to "hang out" until 2-3 a.m. in nightclubs every night. You maybe will want to see her as a woman, who is responsible for the kids, the house and not last - her health, which doesn't fit with a night life every night.
While joining sports clubs with the desire to meet women, keep in mind that not all sports allow to approach ladies. For example, it will be not convenient to start chatting with a lady in the swimming pool. She is there to swim and you have no chance to keep a conversation. Similar situation is with the fitness clubs where everyone is on its machine and it will not work if you interrupt their activities and start chatting to them. There is why you may consider sports or group events where you can easily talk face to face with a lady and this will be appreciated. Similar sports are those where you have the physical contact, like the martial arts, including the health orientated and slow moving Tai Chi and Chi Kung. There, when you practice you are no only in a physical contact with her, but you can later talk about the things you are practicing and intrigue her with interesting books or videos on the subject. Actually this is one of the best ways to interact with a lady. Recommend her and lend her a book or a video on a topic she is interested in. Meet her again later, take back the returned item and discuss is. Now you have a common interest to talk about, which is actually the first thing of creating a bond.
Similar sports or activities are when you join a group, which regularly walks through the countryside or forest. There they expect you to talk and make contacts - exactly what you are there for.
Do you know what is one of the best opportunities to meet a lady? Although most of the men really avoid it, we must face the truth. It is the dancing classes. There are more ladies than men there. The classical dances like Tango, Waltz, Salsa, etc. were designed for a man and woman to get together. The sensation of the physical touch, the movements and the music, really inflame the romance. Learning one or two dances will not only help you through the process of dating singles when you will be seen as a rounded person with different interest, but keep your future relationship passionate.
All of the above ways of finding a soul mate can be successful but they require more from you. You need to be confident and ready for a face-to-face rejection.
The fear of rejection
We all are afraid of feeling rejected. There is why we do not take action. But lets open our eyes and think for a moment. If we take the action and approach a lady we have a 50/50 change to be rejected. But when we do not take action - our chance of failure is... 100%. Not taking action means failure in advance... So take an action and keep in mind the saying: "You either earn, or ether - learn". If you take an action and fail (been rejected) you will see that it was not so difficult and frightening to start talking to her at all. When you apply the techniques, which we discuss below, you will not only discover your inner strength and confidence, but you will be in full control of the situation and the conversation with a lady.
You may feel that it is your fault when you are rejected. You may feel that your self-esteem and confidence melts away. Will you agree if we tell you that in most cases you are the winner when you are rejected? You wander why? Let us give you a real life example of a situation when a lady who rejects a nice guy actually loses. Think of a case when the lady comes from a family with controlling and dominating parents. This is considered as a mild form of abuse towards the child. That lady has grown up with the subconscious image that all men should be like her controlling father, who she considers as the personification of the strength. When later in her life she meets men, who are kind, caring and supportive, she cannot match them to the false childhood image she has created. She feels that the caring and compassionate men are "feminine" and not strong enough. So she rejects the nice guy and goes out with the macho type. Unfortunately the rejected nice guy feels worthless if not aware of the situation. The lady soon realises that the macho type is nothing else but a public display of masculine behaviour, without a real personality but weaknesses, which he hides with showing off. She does not feel supported, neither her creativity and freedom are encouraged. Realising that, she leaves the macho type and starts looking again for the nice guy type. The statistic says that about 90% of all young girls firstly date with macho types and later, disappointed, look for the real, supportive men, the nice guys. So keep that in mind, when you are rejected.
Why the Internet dating is the greatest of all other means?
The advantages are:
- It is quick.
- It is cheap.
- It is simple to use.
- It is fun.
- You can meet thousands of ladies in your area
- You can go through their profiles and select only those who you like.
- The online dating is a great place to interact with people and learn interpersonal communication without the fear of face-to-face rejection.
We hope that you have used before search engines on the Internet to find a dating site with singles near you. Here are some additional tips you may find useful.
In the search box enter key words and your place like:
- "date singles London" or
- "date singles LA" or
- "dating Los Angeles" or
- "find soul mate New York" or
- "man seeking woman Chicago" or
- "meet women Philadelphia" or
- "dating serious relationship Phoenix " or
- "beautiful women San Antonio"
If you are looking for a soul mate from another country you can type for example:
"beautiful women Russia"
To search for a dating website is the easiest step. When you do the search as above you will find hundreds if not thousands of dating websites like Match.com and DatingDirect.com, but which one to choose? You will want the dating website to make your life easier and to have lots of features. Search for more modern dating websites which offer:
- Chat (Instant Messenger for just text typing, Audio Chat or Video Chat)
- Internet Phones (VOIP) which allows you to talk to the other person for free over the Internet
- MySpace and Friendster-like Frends module
- MySpace and Friendster-like Groups module
- Photo Gallery
- YouTube-like video sharing
An example of the new generation dating websites is www.LoveSeriously.com where we found an interesting article about the Personality Types:
Understanding your unique personality type will give you the important answers why you always behave in one way and not in other, why you are attracted to one type of women and don't like others. Knowing the four personality types helps enormously not only during the dating when you need to understand the natural inclinations of the other person, but in life in general when you interact with your friends and colleagues.
To read about the four personality types, please click on the link below:
For further reading we suggest visiting the website of the worldly renowned relationship expert Chuck Spezzano:
where you can subscribe to the FREE newsletters.
Below is a FREE site with lots of tips and articles about dating:
More by this Author
2. Who you really are? Your personality type and state of awareness Have you thought why some people naturally make friends easily and are very animated, cheerful and bubbly, while others are reserved and hide their...
No comments yet.