When and whom to give up your digits to.
Just recently as I have been enjoying my life as a single 28yr old bartender and mother of an 8month old puppy that is the joy of my life. I have realized the dilemma we as single women are faced with. When and whom do we give our precious phone numbers to? The world we now pollute is of course not the world our Mom's and Dad's grew up in. We do not walk up hill both ways in the snow and our priests do not molest us because we do not go to church. No no, we live in a world where reality shows staring the ever so botoxed Brett Michael's ROCK OF LOVE is where we deem our inspiration in how to find love. Thanks to VH-1 for that show-strippers everywhere had a different platform to make fools of themselves while being rewarded of the idea that Brett Michael's may in fact pick 'you' to "rock his world"...he actually said this in the closing of each show. Brilliant props to the writers of that show.
Now, forgive me as I write this blog I can already tell that my gay fans are wondering why I'm focussing on just when women should give up their phone numbers to men. The answer is simple...I write what I know. I would be misleading my fellow lesbians by telling them when to give up their number to another lesbian. Vise verso my gay male homies.
Unfortunately, because most of us have had cell phones since we were 18 or 19...now a days it's a gigantic inconvenience to change one's phone number because of a stalker or unwanted male that has a boner for repeat dialing of your phone number! So when you find yourself in that moment of duh, "What do we do Scooby Doo?" as Shaggy always said....you will have the necessary tools to break free from that mental struggle and identify a yes or no answer to the man asking, "Can I get yo' digits?"
If YES is the answer to any of the following questions then NO will be your reponse when asked for your phone number.
- Does this guy have on a wedding ring?
- Does this guy have his wedding ring in his pocket...(you'll know this simply by the tan line on that left ring finger.
- Have you finished a bottle of liquor? (not the same as a bottle of beer).
- Has he finished a bottle of liquor?
- Are you contemplating mariage at the thought of him asking for your phone number? (this is never a good idea...phone number does not translate to possible marriage candidate.)
At this point if you've cleared those questions then you can move forward to the following rules which are quite simple yet again.
- Have any of your CLOSE girlfriends dated him? (Do not go out with your friends ex-it's just plain wrong, trust me on this.)
- Does he work with you? (Do not date a male you work with or for..it's the same thing as how puppies do not eat their poop in their cages. Yes it's the same thing)
- Does he have a brown belt on with black shoes? (This is just a personal recommendation..chances are if they don't match he's a criminal of some fashion...literally of course.)
The most important rule/question to follow when considering giving out your phone number to a guy....
- WHEN HE ANNOYS YOU (AND YES, HE MIGHT) WILL YOU BE ABLE TO TELL THIS GUY NEVER TO CALL YOU AGAIN AND MEAN IT?
If of course you will be able to do that then you are in the clear. Nothing else matters. It doesn't matter if you like him or he ends up likeing you. As a matter of fact it doesn't even matter if you ever go on a date. You know why? Because, we as women cannot waste our time clogging up our blackberrys with guys calling us that we didn't screen properly.
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