Well everybody has a different taste in what is funny. It all depends on what you really like. For example, if you wanted a ventriloquists then you could go with Jeff Dunham, who was named “Funniest Male Stand-Up Comic” at the American Comedy Awards twice an honor shared with the likes of Jerry Seinfeld, Jeff Foxworthy, and Robin Williams. But if you like "raw humor" then you could go with Lisa Lampanelli, she is known for her extremely racy and raunchy style of comedy. Now if you wanted someone who "has the pasty glow of someone who spends his time in darkened rooms" then you could go with Steve Mittleman. But like I said earlier, everybody has different taste in what they think if funny.