7 Criteria A Family Member Must Meet To Receive Financial Assistance

When and when not to give money to family members.

The new year has just begun and along with my New Year's resolution to lose weight I had to ask myself a question. Am I going to deal with the same antics from the same family member(s) or do I lovingly cut the financial cord and continue to let them struggle with their finances and with other resources? Am I helping my family member or am I enabling them? I could not begin to add up the finances, groceries, and time I have spent on this one particular family member. I had to give careful thought on their actions, or lack of actions, that continue to keep them on the bottom wrung of the ladder. Their misuse of finances, theirs and mine, is a sore spot with me. My savings account looks like a war zone and my account statements cry out, "when are we going to get more supplies, the enemy continues to gain more ground." So I have decided to take action and do the following for my family member:

  • Coach them financially, if they will allow. If they don't allow they still will not receive any cash from me.
  • Provide a list of food banks in their area.
  • Open them up an e-mail account, if they don't have one. They can receive job listings.
  • Redo their resume.
  • Help them apply for jobs online.
  • No more gift cards. They were being sold for cash.

So far I feel real good about my assistance plan and have stuck to it.

Here is a list of criteria, I feel, that a family member must meet in order to receive "TARP" (Troubled Asset Relief Program) money and other resources- LOL!

  1. A life or death situation. Does the person need their prescriptions filled, e.g., insulin, asthma inhaler, blood pressure pills, or heart medication, etc.
  2. Does the family member need a ride to a job interview? (I say take them, please).
  3. Does the family member need a bus and/or train pass to get to the interview? (Buy the bus and/or train pass, please).
  4. Don't help them to your own detriment.
  5. They have done all they could have and should have done to meet their needs. (Ask a lot of questions).
  6. The family member must disclose their financial information if they expect financial assistance. I review my family member's monthly bills and their financial resources, if any.
  7. If you are buying the groceries for the family member(s), they must allow you to go shopping with them. Use coupons and try not to buy prepackaged / processed foods which are more expensive and will stretch your dollars more. I had a friend I was assisting with groceries and she asked if she could pick up some ice cream and I said no. She also said she did not eat anything but ground chuck, so I told her I guess you won't be eating any ground chuck this week. If your family member's cooking skills are an issue have accompanying recipes that match the food items you buy.

I so enjoy giving and helping others, but I must use wisdom in my giving.

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Comments 2 comments

Kristine Manley profile image

Kristine Manley 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA Author

Tatum, sometimes it gets wearying. But God knows my heart. I moved down South with my Mom and thought we would leave the majority of the family up North - not so. They followed. LOL!


Tatum 5 years ago

I am so glad my immediate family live outside of GA and praise the Lord they trust in Him to supply all their needs! But I would help if they asked because they never have...the the people the borrow money all the time...Do Not Wear Out The Welcome Mat! LOL

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