Buy Cat Stuff Online

This cat is saying "Buy me stuff online."
This cat is saying "Buy me stuff online."

Yes, Cat Stuff is Available Online

Not all of us have cats, but all of us wish we had cats. Even if you don't possess an adorable domesticated feline, you can still order online for appropriate accoutrement. Here are the absolute best items to shop for: whip out that Hello Kitty credit card and get to work.

Cat Bed

Your cat needs to sleep after a long day of emitting cuteness. You could put Fluffy in the basement to lounge on the dirty laundry, but we all know that a purpose-built cat bed will make her much happier.

Look for a cat bed that she can crawl into and curl up in. That's a lot of prepositions for one sentence, but cats do grade on a curve.

Catnip

Your cat can't get to the grocery store, but if she could you could rest assured that catnip would be at the top of the list.

Your kitty doesn't have a mobile communication device, but if she did her little feline smart-phone would be programmed with an app that identified the cheapest and most potent products in a 3-county area. It's your responsibility as her owner and protector to provide her with such items because she doesn't have thumbs and can't see over the steering wheel.

Cat Clippers

No cat can sneak up on a hamster or your unprotected feet unless her toenails are properly groomed. She'll either get snagged in the carpet or make scraping noises on the hardwood. Such a social disaster could scar your little kitty for life and possibly mar the Pergo. No self-respecting feline wants to be laughed at by the other pets in the house.

Cat Carrier

When your cat steps out for a night on the town, be sure she is stylin' and profilin'. A fashionable cat carrier will get her to the back alleys for a little howlin' at the moon or to the vet's office for a deworming procedure. Don't just wrap her in a towel and hold her on your lap as you attempt to navigate your SUV through the mall parking lot: you'll both be embarrassed when Paul Blart waves you into the loading zone and issues you a stern warning.

Cat Videos

Your cat may sleep a lot, but that's probably because she's bored. She needs mental stimulation beyond tormenting the hamster and attacking your unprotected feet. Stock up on cat-related DVDs for the next kitty-and-me day that you two will spend together. Your adoring pet is sick of Ellen and Oprah.

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Comments 2 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Funny stuff, nicomp, expecially that cats grade on a curve. I didn't know that! But I don't think you'll ever be invited to lunch with either Ellen or Oprah.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

drbj : My kitty is sufficient.

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