Buy Cities Best Online

Buy Cities Best Online

Some people like to drink coffee. Some other people prefer pretense-laden products pressed into expensive packaging announcing to the world their predilection for climbing the coffee status ladder. Somehow the city of Seattle earned coffee nirvana status, which has translated to numerous coffee brands claiming 'best of' status while incorporating all things Seattle into their marketing efforts.

Lovely rainy Seattle may offer superior coffee, but what about other cities? Other cities have much to offer as well. You can travel the length and breadth of Seattle without finding any of the charm offered by Detroit, L.A., Las Vegas, Naples, Vale, and Shipshewana.

Don't limit yourself to designer coffee sold in paper cups with pretentious sleeves so you don't burn yourself. Shop the best of other cities across this great land.

Detroit's Best

Visit the Motor City in your gasoline-powered velocipede, but take care to defend it against those who would appropriate it for resale purposes. Detroit may not have the grand theft auto market cornered when compared to Rio or Beirut, but a few dollars spent on a steering wheel lockout or a really loud alarm hidden in the spare tire just might save you a long bus ride back to Seattle for a cup of coffee. Think ahead. Install it yourself or drive to the dealership and enjoy some instant decaf while lounging in the waiting room with fellow consumers. Don't expect Seattle's Best coffee unless you're tricking out a Lexus.

Naple's Best

Images of senior citizens driving 20 miles per hour as their turn signal eternally flickers may be completely cliche, but try spending a few hours in Naples without encountering geriatric lightfoots blocking the fast lane.

Spiff up your jitney with after-market turn signals. These accessories will help you merge smoothly into the Naples lifestyle. Avoid crowed high-society on ramps, busy social intersections, and overused metaphors by installing eye-catching blinkers. Catch and keep the attention of your fellow motorists as you whiz past them at 30 mph.

Los Angles' Best

Feel free to exercise your constitutional right to go outside and play, safe in the knowledge that many of your important body parts nestle safely behind Kevlar and carbon shielding. Add a bomb squad approved helmet to complete the ensemble.

Vail's Best

Snow skiing offers unparalleled opportunities to severely damage orthopedic body components. There's no place like Vail to try out the latest technology in knee braces and musculoskeletal support configurations on slippery slopes inclined at acute angles. Cinch 'em up tight before launching yourself into icy white oblivion and crashing into the $500 per night lodge inconveniently blocking the bottom of the hill.

Las Vegas' Best

They've got bucketfuls of the stuff and they're giving it away. Empty your backseat of old used coffee cups and head out to Vegas for a carload of cash, a glove-box of greenbacks, or a hidden compartment in the left rear fender of non sequential unmarked $20s. Every numeric denomination and fiscal configuration is available for bank account augmentation. Stuff your pockets with loose dollar bills so you can hit the McDonald's drive-through for McCoffees on the way home.

Shipshewana, Indiana

Don't leave Shipshewana without visiting the world-renown flea market. Open only on Tuesday and Wednesday throughout the tourist season, this gem of North Central Indiana offers crafts and gee-gaws from around the world. If you can't find it here, it's been confiscated by federal inspections officers.

After lunch, save room for a fried pie at one of many booths that sell such things. Almost any fruit filling can be ordered up. They are a little slice of lard-based heaven that don't count against your calories because it's vacation!

Yes, they're making everything from fried pies to fresh ice cream at the Shipshewana flea market. There's an authentic livestock auction as well. Stroll the grounds for hours: you're bound to find something you never knew you needed. Pick up birthday presents for each member of the family. One-of-a-kind stuff is around every aisle.

A single cylinder gas engine making ice cream with a fried pie booth at the back left. It's a little slice of Shipshewana.
A single cylinder gas engine making ice cream with a fried pie booth at the back left. It's a little slice of Shipshewana.

I would like to buy this city's best:

  • Detroit
  • Naples
  • Vale
  • Los Angeles
  • Las Vegas
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Las Vegas awaits you and your money.

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Comments 7 comments

Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 5 years ago from Moundsville, WV

nicomp,

I saw a great sale on Chicago 2012 Olympics T-shirts and I'm surprised you neglected this collectors item.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Tom Whitworth : That is hilarious. I love it!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

What a great Halloween costume that tactical vest and wraparound knee braces would be! You could go trick or treating as a former bomb disposal specialist recovering from grievous injuries.


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA

Now I remember why cities frightened me. Great hub! Kept me laughing till the end.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

30 views in more than a year! Sigh. I need a hub makeover.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Wow, up to 39 total views for my Cities Best expose. I still need a hub makeover.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Today I received a generic email from the HubLords encouraging me to "freshen" this hub so it could possibly be featured.

Of course, "freshen" is nebulous and undefined. Why waste the time?

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