Buy Football

NFL Four Pack Lip Balm

Protect your lips so you can cheer for your favorite football team. A stadium full of people without lips would be extremely creepy. This luscious balm provides SPF (Sun Protection Factor) 30 shielding and feels wonderful on your face. It comes in styles for 31 different pro football team in the United States of America. If your team isn't on the list, call their front office and demand that they license their logo and team colors to lip balm products.

Each pack includes 4 separate and distinct packages of lip balm: that's enough to share with three other people at your tailgate party and still keep your lips soft and pliable.

Football Scrunchie

Many football players and their fans have long unruly hair that cries out for a fashionable scrunchie. We suggest scrunchies with football themes, because, well, a basketball-themed barrette or a baseball-themed scarf doesn't fit into this narrative.

Show off your team spirit and tame that wild flowing mane at the same time. Order a set of scrunchies for every long-haired fan in your party. They will thank you when the wind starts to blow and they are able to see the game without constantly brushing back their hair.

Football Bar Soap

Soap and football go together because football players sometimes say rude words and need their mouths washed out with soap. There's no better soap for this purpose than a soap with footballs on it. It still tastes horrible and will teach them a valuable lesson about manners, but the football shape will make them feel comfortable as they are disciplined.

Football players also need to wash their hands before the pregame meal and after dumping Gatorade on their coach to celebrate a big win. You'd better order several bars of this wonderful cleansing agent.

Football Toasters

Perhaps the third-most popular tailgating snack might possibly be a well-toasted slice of bread. Manually making toast proves problematic when the big game approaches: you're simply too busy to hold bread over an open flame.

Depend on this handy bread toasting device to evenly brown your bread on both sides, leaving you free to slather on your lip balm and adjust your scrunchie. It's a hand-free operation, after you insert the bread and push down the lever. What pops up is a slice of toast replete with the logo of your favorite team. It's not Lourdes, but it will make mealtime interesting.

Football Helmet Mouse Pad

When you venture online to configure your fantasy football team, you need a football helmet-shaped mouse pad to enhance the experience. A normal boring rectangular mouse pad incites boredom and sleepiness. Pick your favorite team or the team that is on sale and order a mouse pad for every computer in your house.

Football Flash Drive

Store your football-shaped data on a football-shaped flash drive. This unique device is compatible with PCs and Macs: your computer doesn't have to be football-shaped. All your fantasy football files and photos and statistics fit comfortably into this flash drive. It's perfect for school, work, home, or stadium.

Tuck it into your pocket before heading off to the Big Game. Your friends will think it's a toy, but you know better.

Peanut Butter Footballs

Oh baby! Peanut butter and chocolate may be the third-most perfect food, but when it's shaped like a football, it just might launch up to number one. Toss around a few of these munchables as you tailgate in sub-zero temperatures waiting for late-season games with playoff implications to kick-off.

Your friends will gobble them up quickly: better order several bags. Give a few to the referees so close calls will go your way. Share them with the other team so they will overeat and become sluggish just before kickoff. It could happen.

Football Duck Tape

Football teams need many special equipments, but a strategic roll of duck tape comes to the rescue in a veritable plethora of emergencies. No one can predict when tape will suddenly become necessary: stock up on rolls emblazoned with your favorite team. No one wants to be taped up with tape from an opposing team.

Football fans often need to tape up tailgating accoutrement, unexpected tears in overly tight sweatshirts, and even leaky footballs that landed on the grill by accident. Even if you never use the tape and it sits on your garage shelf until it dries up, you will still have the coolest roll of dried-up tape in the neighborhood.

Football For Dummies

Should you find yourself scheduled to appear on NBC's Football Night in America or sitting next to John Madden on a city bus or tussling with Warren Sapp for the last chicken wing at a Super Bowl party, be sure to have a few copies of Football for Dummies handy. These handy books teach you everything that a dummy needs to know about the sport.

Don't rely on former players or coaches to keep you informed: pick up a book targeted at people who readily admit they're knowledgeably deficient. This makes a great Christmas gift for the person who thinks they already have everything.

Rico Football Trifold Wallet

Football can be expensive: tickets, parking, snacks, gambling debts, and steroids all add to the bottom line. You need a voluminous wallet to safely ensconce massive amounts of cash lest the outing decline into sadness due to a lack of funds.

Tuck your credit cards and greenbacks into specially designed pockets. Fold the wallet along a specially creased crease, then confidently slide the entire assembly into your back pocket. Enjoy the football game, confident in the knowledge that your worldly possessions are leather-wrapped and you are sitting on them.

Football Shoe

Football shoes are simply cool. Styles and colors rival anything worn on the runways in Paris or Green Bay. Swooshes, carbuncles, logos, space-age materials and high-tech fastening contrivances offer fashion statements that belong anywhere people wear shoes.

Step out in style: you never know when a football game will break out. We all need to be prepared to carry the ball or execute a game-saving tackle. Without proper footwear, you could end up as a perpetual benchwarmer. Don't get stuck as life's second-stringer.

Football Socks

Sure, you can wear just about any socks while playing football. You can slide into a pair of argyle over the calf double-knit socks or you can don white 100% cotton athletic socks. You could even pull on socks made for bicycling or socks made for selling credit default swaps to mutual fund managers.

On the other hand, if you want a shot at starting in the Big Game, you obviously need specialized football socks to wear beneath your fashionable football shoes. Not just any sports socks will get the job done: you need football socks. Football socks provide football-ready functionality unavailable in soccer socks or baseball socks. Never step on the field without your football socks.

Football Mom Iron On Rhinestone Crystal Transfer

Nothing says 'football fan' quite like rhinestones on a shirt. Originally, rhinestones were rock crystals gathered from the river Rhine in Germany. Lately, these shiny faux-jewels are spit out of specially-engineered faux-jewelry manufacturing machines at a rate of about 1 gabillion per minute. We'll never run out.

It's true: you can fashion a fashionable rhinestone message on just about any wearable surface. These specially designed shirts offer ready made messages to tell the world you're a football Mom or a football Dad (!) or even a hanger-on who actually has no real connection with the teams on the field, but you love to wear rhinestones. It's all good.

Sports Fleece

It's cold outside and you want to watch football. it's really cold and the game is about to start. The solution? Cuddle up on your sofa underneath a fleece football blanket and watch the game on your 60" 3D LED backlit TV with remote control.

Grab a big bowl of Pringles, original flavor, and try to keep the crumbs off the fleece. Should you spill a little mocha latte on your blanket, don't worry. It's machine washable. It's also machine washable by someone else. Just flip it over until the game ends, then toss it into the dirty clothes pile for someone else to find. Real fans don't do laundry.

Squeaker Football Dog Toy

If your dog is a football fan, then you don't know your dog because dogs prefer baseball. Regardless of your relationship, your canine friend will enjoy chasing and mauling a football-shaped chew toy that squeaks when chomped.

Order a few for all the puppies in your life. These types of toys get lost all too frequently. You can't have too many chewable playthings laying around the back yard. All the neighborhood football-loving dogs will run off with whatever they can get their teeth around, and you are too slow to catch them.

Wilson F1415 NFL MVP Football (Official Size)

Fans of the game should own at least one example of the oblate spheroid. This specimen has been tackified, a word made up by football manufacturers to explain why the surface is so sticky. It's got glue on it so it's easier to handle when the game is on the line. You probably don't want to clutch it too close to your custom-tailored Armani suit as you step to the podium to accept your Most Valuable Player award.

It's made from official leather. That's the preferred material for footballs unless you happen to be the leather donor, under which circumstances you would probably have a significantly different opinion on the subject. We're not here to judge.

The Everything Kids' Football Book

Avoid, at almost all cost, allowing children to grow up knowing nothing about football. Imagine the difficulties facing a child who cannot explain a 2-deep zone or a pulling guard. Pity the neglected progeny who have never strapped on a pair of shoulder pads or read about how much fun that is.

The world presents sufficient challenges without adding ignorance of Super Bowl MVP history. Teach your children well: tomorrow they will control the remote and you may be stuck watching The View when you know full well that reruns of the 2005 Hall of Fame induction ceremonies are on The NFL Network.

Football Helmet Antenna Topper

When you go somewhere in your car, people want to know more about you. They crave knowledge of your favorite football team. To that end, jam a football helmet antenna topper onto your favorite radio antenna. You probably won't be able to see it from your seat, but surrounding motorists will appreciate your editorial predilection. Driving offers insufficient levels of distraction these days.

Should you be sufficiently unfortunate to own a vehicle with no antenna, feel free to poke your finger into the football helmet antenna topper. Wave that finger out the window with the innocent intention of amusing fellow motorists. Either way, you can't lose.

Football Silicone Mold

Food should be shaped like footballs. Cookies, Jello, muffins, and candy are more fun to eat when shaped into something other than boring rectangles. You can also freeze water in this adorable football mold, but you won't be able to refer to the result as 'cubes.'

This mold is dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and oven safe to 500°F. It's pretty much indestructible unless you attack it with a football-shaped pair of scissors.

Cook up your favorite recipe in this adorable mold. Rice Crispie squares become Rice Crispie footballs, which are always a welcome snack during the 4 hour Super Bowl pregame extravaganza. Look online for any recipes that can be baked in traditional pans: you should be capable of adapting. The shape of the pan is only a suggestion, anyway.

Football Bean Bag Chair

Sitting in a football to watch football simply makes sense. You'll feel like part of the game, without the torn ligaments and $30 parking fees. Toss it around at halftime, unless you are actually at the game and your kid is in the marching band: then you'd better pay attention.

You could order 11 of these bean bags and have your own team of bean bags. They would be great for diagramming plays on the living room floor during the 2 minute warning.

Football Ornaments

Gather your family 'round the football tree and decorate it with adorable football ornaments. Build memories that will last a lifetime. Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like football-shaped accoutrement dangling from an evergreen tree in the corner of your living room. Order a set of ornaments for everyone on your favorite team.

Every popular team has a special ornament that will look lovely hanging from your special tree. When January rolls around, take down the tree but leave the ornaments in the living room to spice up the decor for your Super Bowl Party.

Football Jersey

Whether you're dressing to tailgate for the big game or picking out your wedding gown, a football jersey complements any outfit. Look for a jersey festooned with your favorite team's colors: they might just invite you onto the field when their backup placekicker is struck down by a sore instep.

Go shopping, fishing, or Christmas caroling in your new jersey. It fits comfortably beneath a stadium jacket or over your favorite pair of shoulder pads. They're always wash 'n wear.

Flaming Footballs Ceiling Fan

Sometimes it can be challenging to maintain a flaming football motif throughout an entire rumpus room. This adorable ceiling fan provides much-needed airflow when the score is tight and you're hanging on every play of The Big Game. Stay cool with gentle breezes tossed at you from rotating blades with flaming footballs on them.

Should post-game celebrations become excessively exuberant, extra fan blades may become propitious. A poorly directed football, tossed innocently skyward, could extremely damage fan blades with flaming footballs on them. Be prepared.

This fan-favorite fan comes complete with a 15 year manufacturer's warranty and also flaming footballs on the rotating blades.

Football Tickets

Football games are rarely free to attend, unless you're a referee or you're parachuting in from the sponsor's blimp. One or more tickets typically get you and your traveling party into the stadium. Waiting on the other side of the turnstile is a reserved seat facing the field. You won't miss a moment of the action. Vendors will traipse through your section hawking edible wares such as hot dogs and cotton candy. Two teams will compete, for your entertainment, against each other. The entire scenario is pretty much unlike any other life situation you could possibly imagine.

Order tickets before heading off to The Big Game to avoid dealing with scalpers on the street or possibly getting arrested for engaging in an illegal transaction. Knowing where your seat is can be very relaxing: you don't need the stress of trying to find 3 seats together when the game begins in 5 minutes. Don't ask us how we know that.

Football Memorabilia

Commemorating previous players and particularly penultimate plays proffers a plethora of possibilities. We like to hang stuff on the wall. To that end, stock up on football souvenirs and memorabilia for your man cave or home office or even your living room if you've completely run out of decorating ideas.

Shop 'til you max out your credit limit. Search for autographed items from Super Bowl pregame shows and game-worn jerseys from games played in driving rainstorms on grass fields. Pick out trading cards depicting all-pro players from back in the day when face-masks were optional. Bid on pennants and programs and mini-footballs festooned with team logos. It's all good and it's all here.

Football Gloves

Football playing requires a veritable plethora of specialized equipment. You cannot simply show up in a pair of Brett Favre Wrangler Jeans and expect to start at middle linebacker. Professional football teams employ a full-time staff of equipment wranglers dedicated to organizing all the components necessary to outfit a serious player.

Football players need gloves. They can't play in mittens or ski gloves or scuba gloves: they require special gloves designed for the stress of blocking, tackling, and waving to the crowd after game-winning touchdowns. When a defensive lineman records a quarterback sack with 2 minutes remaining in a 60-0 blowout, he wants to celebrate for the cameras and he absolutely needs professional football gloves to properly execute his sack dance.

Football Mini Helmet

Mini helmets do not fit onto standard human heads, but they do provide something to dust. Buy sets of mini helmets to occupy the flat surfaces throughout your game-watching room. Every team issues tiny plastic replicas of their authentic helmets, ostensibly to prepare for tiny hamster football leagues that could be forming any day now.

Stock up on Lemon Pledge and rags in anticipation of the massive expenditure of physical labor required to keep the things clean.

Women's Football Jacket

Women love football and also wear coats, often at the same time. This adorable jacket tells the world that you're a woman and you plan to stay fashionably warm. It comes in several appropriate sizes and colors and it's a perfect Super Bowl gift for all the females attending your epic Super Bowl party. Order a copy or two or three to hold in reserve just in case a football watching party breaks out and someone leaves a window open, causing a light breeze that calls for outerwear.

Men's Football Jacket

Human males will don jackets when temperatures drop and football is played outdoors. These jackets often reflect a predilection for specific teams or schools, No self-respecting testosterone-fueled man wants to go generic: logos and team colors are the order of the day.

Are you a man? Yes, you could settle for a coat with no team embroidery. You might consider purchasing clothing without emblems. In a pinch, you might even pull on a generic hoodie with no distinguishing markings whatsoever. We all know that deep down inside you prefer to be seen in team colors. You're among friends.

Football Video Games

The next best thing to watching football played by people is watching football played by video game professionals. These dedicated humans train long and hard, working their fingers harder than anyone else except Huffington Post bloggers.

You, too, can someday rise to the level of football video game professional, but first you must purchase several football video games. They're all pretty much the same: just order a couple. Each game includes exciting graphics and real-time strategy designed to keep you busy between bowls of Pringles. Each game offers virtual violence implemented in high-tech software. The players get hurt, but they heal magically. Your favorite teams battle each other for digital domination.

Football Guys by Kaskey Kids

Turn off the computer, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, 60" plasma 3D flat screen, and the electronic pencil sharpener. Take a trip back into the 1980's with a class game of toy football played with actual toys. This wonderful set of 22 players and washable felt field can be played anywhere you have a flat surface. No electricity, no power cords, no downloads, no software upgrades are necessary. Batteries not included because no batteries are required.

Black Max Football

Over the years, many erstwhile participants found themselves unable to properly toss a football. These unfortunate humans longed to join in when impromptu games broke out during Summer picnics and long lunch breaks at the football equipment factory.

Teams of dedicated Football Engineers toiled mercilessly to design a better football. Many football traditionalists scoffed: conventional gridiron wisdom dictated that no possible improvements could be wrought upon the traditional pigskin product. After significant toiling, stodgy old purists were proven wrong.

The Black Max represents an epitome of oblate spheroid technology. Dimples strategically located on the surface of the ball greatly enhance throw-ability. The thing is patented.

Wilson NFL MVP Junior Football with Pump and Tee

If junior longs for a career as a professional placekicker, start him off properly with a football/pump/tee combination. Don't wait for the government to provide these items.

Use the pump to properly inflate the ball, use the tee to adequately cradle the ball, and use the ball to give junior something to aim at with the instep of his kicking foot.

Highly trained football engineers engineered the tee for the express purpose of holding up the ball in an optimal kicking position. This tee is one of the most purpose-built products since the Pringle's can.

Junior will be thrilled with his gift. This actually counts as three presents.

BSN Heavy-Duty Mesh Equipment Bag

Jam your footballs into this heavy-duty mesh equipment bag and head off to practice confident in the knowledge that no oblate spheroids will escape. Toss it into the bed of your Ford F-450 along with your shoulder pads and Gatorade buckets: no harm will befall your equipment as long as it nestles safely in this heavy-duty bag.

Balls are notoriously round. Round objects tend to roll away from humans who prefer them to remain voluntarily corralled. This heavy-duty mesh bag solves the problem of recalcitrant sports balls while still remaining fashionable and semi-transparent. You'll never accidentally pick up your laundry bag ever again.

Never Flat Football

The third-worst condition to which a football could be subjected must be dramatic pressure loss. Kicking and passing become problematic when the ball becomes squishy. A never-flat design virtually eliminates the need to make up excuses when the game is on the line.

Never again will you and your team suffer unexpected and possibly tragic volumetric deficiencies at inopportune moments. We've all seen the disappointing results at birthday parties: a colorful balloon that was once the life of the party turns into a sad little tribute to ambient pressures. It's even worse if the balloon is a football and the party is a last-second field goal attempt when the score is tied. Don't allow this to happen to your football.

Nerf Football

Nerf represents a pinnacle of construction material for a veritable plethora of household items. The Nerf corporation toils endlessly to adapt their product to specialized balls that make our lives easier.

Building a football out of Nerf might seem like a physical impossibility, but Nerf physicists and Nerf chemists and Nerf engineers took time out from building Nerf pacemakers and Nerf aircraft carriers in order to improve the lives of football throwers all around the world.

You can prove your gratitude by purchasing one or more of their products. The Nerf football may never supplant the leather football, but don't be surprised if this ingenious material someday appears in the shape of a basketball or a hockey puck.

PassBack Football

At first glance, you might suspect that you're being cheated. You could surmise that your new football is a reject from the assembly line. It's missing half of itself!

Don't send it back: it's supposed to be this way. A traditional football has a point on each end, causing it to bounce erratically when thrown against a flat surface such as a wall or Terrell Owens' head. A single human with a single football finds playing catch to be problematic. Sure, baseballs and tennis balls bounce predictably and return smoothly to the tosser, but that won't get you to the NFL anytime soon.

This ingenious semi-football allows you to play catch with yourself just like the kids who have round balls. You don't need friends anymore. Find yourself a wall without a window and you're in business.

Glow in the Dark Football

Playing sports at night proves problematic, perhaps prevented by a distinct lack of illumination. Players prefer proper lighting to getting plunked in the proboscis by the ball. Building a stadium replete with high-intensity floodlights probably presents excessive delays such as performing environmental studies and securing permits from local governments. Parking is also a problem.

To that end, consider a glow in the dark football rather than launching a multimillion dollar construction project. If you lose the ball, order another one. Glowing basketballs and playground balls also populate store shelves. Sleep all day, play all night.

Team Color NFL Football Bracelet

Before and after the Big Game you want to wear team gear, but shoulder pads are frowned upon at Denny's. Look for subtle opportunities to doll up your wrists with specially designed bracelets sporting team colors and logos.

The closure is an innovative football bead: don't worry about losing your bracelet when you reach for the salt or sack the quarterback. The laces are raised, just like a real football. All the important pro football teams are represented.

White Gold Crystal Football Mom Pendant Necklace Fashion Jewelry

Tell the world your Mom plays football by giving her this adorable crystal pendant. It spells the word 'Mom' with the 'o' occupied by a stylized football. Obviously a football isn't round, but no one will have trouble sounding out the word. That's guaranteed.

The pendant comes attached to a 16" chain, which wouldn't fit around the wrist of an offensive lineman, but should nicely encircle the slender neck of your Mom if she is a wide receiver or a placekicker.

Football Mouse

Mice don't play football, but they connect you to your computer. A boring white or black mouse with no logos or team colors might be less expensive, but your friends will like you more if you opt for a gussied-up mouse that looks like the uniform of your favorite player. You'll never win a game with this mouse, but computing will be much more fun.

A wireless mouse connects to your computer via high-frequency radio waves, just like a quarterback connects to his coach during an NFL game.

Football Cleats

A cleat screws into the bottom of a football shoe. Proper cleats provide optimal traction when chasing down a quarterback or deciding whether to Supersize a #3 at Wendy's. No one wants to fall down at inopportune moments.

Football players carefully study the turf upon which they will shortly play. They tread to and fro, observing precisely how spongy or unyielding the surface might be. Based on their judgements, dedicated equipment managers attach proper cleatage (probably not a word, but if you've read this far you're probably not paying attention anyway) to proper football shoes.

Keep your equipment manager well-stocked with all manner of cleats. A steel-tipped cleat is apropos when a plastic-tipped cleat might not be. Wide varieties of cleats are a moral imperative.

Football Cards

Trading cards aren't just for sticking in the spokes of your bicycle any more. Trading cards are big business. Images of famous football players emblazoned on small cardboard rectangles might just be sufficient to put your kids through college. People pay big bucks for this stuff.

Buy boxes of cards for trading with your friends. Get together for fancy-dress parties, followed by desert and football card exchanges. It's a great bonding experience for the entire family, assuming that the entire family is football crazy and has way too much free time.

Deco Breeze Dog Fan, Football

We're not sure that this is, but it has a dog holding a football. Not much else needs to be said. There's a fan in there somewhere: on hot days you'll be thrilled that you paid real money for this product. Turn on the fan and enjoy staring at what appears to be a pigskin-toting canine with an ill-fitting helmet.

Get one for every football fan on your holiday gift list because you can be sure that they don't already have one. Shopping presents innate difficulties that are easily overcome with products such as this. Act quickly because tomorrow you'll have to find one at a flea market.

NFL Football Newborn Baby Necessities Gift Set

Basic necessities for your baby include an 8 oz plastic bottle with silicone nipple, a 4 oz plastic bottle with silicone nipple, an 8 oz plastic "no-spill" cup, a cute cotton team logo bib, one 7 inch clear plastic bowl with no-slip rubber bottom, and toddler plastic spoon and fork.

No self-respecting infant wants to drink from generic bottles or fling strained peas with average plastic utensils. Don't let your kid get laughed out of the nursery. Everything you do for your child during their early years will have a grave impact on what nursing home they eventually leave you in.

Concept One NFL Diaper Bags

If your baby insists on accompanying you to the Big Game, be sure to pack their diapers in am appropriately adorned diaper bag. You won't get into the stadium unless your baby gear matches the team colors.

Chuckit! Football Trainer

Pet-based interactive play is a term bandied about by leisure time experts when they need to impress each other. They actually mean to say "Play with your dog." Doggies may be able to engage themselves or each other in playtime activities, but in the long run both you and your canine will be better off when both of you engage in mutual interactive play at the same time.

This amazing product offers both utility and unique opportunities for interactive play. You can sit in a chair and concurrently engage your puppy. Simply get the dog's attention and coax them into chomping on to the football-shaped chew toy. When the pooch runs away, still gripping the toy, a strategically attached rope yanks it back. The toy and the pooch are both yanked back, often at the same time.

For some unfathomable reason, otherwise intelligent dogs love this activity. Buried deep in their DNA must be an inclination to tug on stuff. They hardly care what they might be tugging, but football-shaped items offer a particularly strong attraction.

Halloween Costume Small Dog Football

If you don't particularly like dogs, perhaps avoiding them would be a good idea. On the other hand, if you are stuck with a dog because your spouse brought it home or it won't leave your porch, perhaps a costume will satisfy your inner longing to get rid of the thing. You can't actually give it way, therefore dressing it up as a football player just might give you something productive to do.

To be fair, no dog has any clue that it's being dressed up like a football player. All dogs are fans of The Georgia Bulldogs, but beyond that they have no interest in getting gussied up as an athlete by someone who they thought was their friend. It's cute for you and is could make for a popular YouTube video. On the other hand, no football costume, no matter how flattering, will bring satisfaction to the dog trapped inside it.

SKLZ 10 Man Flag Football

Flag football is played by sissies and people wearing their church clothes. Participants loosely attach colorful strips of cloth at their belt-line. Tackling is achieved when a member of the opposing team pulls off one of the strips. It's impossible to violently remove these semaphores of wimpiness. The world has become so feminized that even the sacred act of tackling has been sanitized out of football. We may as well be playing tennis or watching The View.

Please, invest in shoulder pads, knee pads, helmets, and Tylenol. Stock up on athletic tape, bandages, MRI machines, and crutches. Resist the urge to join in when a flag football escapade breaks out at the next Fourth of July picnic. If you're not bruised and bloody after the game, it's not real football. Flags are for saluting during the National Anthem, not for fluttering gaily from the midsections of would-be athletes.

How Football Explains America

Society is woven into the fabric of football. You may find yourself the victim of a brutal blind-side tackle while standing in line at Starbucks. You may get flagged for 'illegal use of hands' by the referee at the hardware store. An impromptu huddle breaks out in the McDonald's Drive-thru.

You need to understand this stuff. It's not taught in college, unless you're a scholarship athlete at an SEC football factory. The deepest nuances, the most obscure significances, the subtlest connections between real life and football are explained in this epic tome. Read it at halftime of the Army-Navy game as you gather with your family around the handmade table centerpiece and sip from NFL-logo'd plastic cups.

Conclusion

Evidently, pretty much anything available on the retail market can be acquired in the shape of a football or with a football glued on to it. Shopping for football accessories, gear, decorations, clothing, and foodstuffs has never been more simple. You can't go wrong with these products.

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Comments 4 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

I guess, nicomp, given enough time, the NFL will put their brand on just about anything and everything a consumer might buy. I'm waiting for the NFL pooper-scooper myself.


Derdriu 5 years ago

nicomp: Do you know when the football-shaped computers will be in stock? They will go really well with my football-shaped flash drive and mouse pad.

Also, can football socks be used instead of the survival water filter system in preparation for when the world as we know it ends?

Thank you the consumer report, voted up, etc.,

Derdriu


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 5 years ago

OMG! A football fleece, a football dog toy, and even football Christmas ornaments! I wouldn't have believed it until I saw it here. Maybe I'll get one of those scrunchies... But maybe I should get football for dummies first...


Springboard profile image

Springboard 5 years ago from Wisconsin

My wife recently bought a baseball jersey for $60. Of course it was much to my chagrin. I think things like that are a complete, and total waste of money. Granted, I don't like sports, but I also don't like being bilked, and really that's what these sports teams are all up to and all of the companies that are licensed to use their logos. They are bilking us all out of our precious, hard-earned bucks. Slap a team logo on and the value of whatever it is rises ten fold. It's a sham. And yet people fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

Amazingly, I often walk into people's homes who complain about the economy, complain about their jobs, complain about their pay, joke they'll have to work until they're dead...

And yet all around them are things sitting and hanging and displaying that ALL cost too much money. Around here where I live that would include a $200 stock certificate to the Green Bay Packers, which BTW, is completely worthless. No more than a spot in a club.

On with regular programming. My rant is done.

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