Buy Something

Got Money?

Surely this economy will not circle the drain forever. Certainly someone out there has money to burn, cash to spend, greenbacks to disburse. Should you find yourself at a loss for shopping and buying opportunities, look no further. We step into the breach to offer a plethora of things to buy online. Don't just sit there: buy something. The free market needs you.

In the interest of full disclosure, it's OK to salt away a little cash for a rainy day. Stuff it in the mattress or entrust it to a local savings and loan. Either way, we all need a currency cushion for unexpected expenses. After building up a nestegg, blow a little cash on something fun.

Buy a Bicycle

A road bike provides geometry and lightness of being that are conducive to pedaling long distances on paved surfaces. A mountain bike packs more bulk in frame and components, therefore providing more durability for trail riding. A hybrid bike comes down squarely between road and mountain cousins, sacrificing some heaviness for additional comfort. Jump on your hybrid (not literally) for a spin around the neighborhood or a trip to the hardware store. Stock your skin-tight polyester jersey with Gatorade and bananas for a relaxing century ride (100 miles) on your shiny new road bike. It's all good on a bike.

Buy a Watch

Decorate your wrist, or wrists, with designer watches. Never be more than a brief glance away from the current time and/or date. Impress your friends and intimidate your rivals around the hand-rubbed oaken boardroom table. Stride the landscape of modern fashion comfortably adorned with designer devices attached to leather bands. Continue your quest to buy something: no one ever said no to a really cool and expensive watch.

Buy a Shirt

Many parts of the world strongly prefer humans to wear upper body coverings. An animal skin or a tarpaulin might be technically correct, but fashionably suicidal. If the folks at the PTA meeting insist on talking about you behind your back, give them a back sporting a high thread count fabric behind which to gossip. Choose a button down collar or no collar at all. Opt for long sleeves, unless you don't wish to cover up the new watch you bought in the previous panel. Browse the plethora of silky fabrics and the universe of hues and shades.

Buy a Phone

Phones are cool. You can't place a call without a phone. You can't call the local radio station to request a Blue Oyster Cult triple play without a proper telephone connected properly to an external switching network. Look for phones that offer multiple handsets: if you lose one you can still answer the call when your neighbor wants to let you know the dog is loose again. Look for a wireless configuration, allowing you to wander the back 40 and still verbalize your Mother's Day greetings to Mother and Mother-in-law.

Buy a Boat

Still in the mood to buy something? Boats are excellent at keeping you from getting wet. A boat between your pants and a large body of water seems like a perfect match, unless you want to go swimming. Look for a boat that carries you and your gear while still offering room for fellow travelers and their gear, unless you prefer a kayak. Add a fish finder and a bait well, unless you don't plan on going fishing.

Buy a Towel

As Douglas Adams so ably illustrated, a towel may be the most mind bogglingly useful device since useful devices were first devised. You can wash your face with it, wipe up spills with it, fashion a cape out of it, or even use it as a beach blanket if your bingo game is relatively small. Egyptian cotton seems very popular these days when considering towel construction. Those Egyptians certainly know their weaving. Select a wide variety of colors to avoid a fashion faux pas on the beach of your choice.

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Comments 10 comments

tmbridgeland profile image

tmbridgeland 5 years ago from Small Town, Illinois

I thought this was gonna be boring, but it wasn't. Good hub, thanks.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@tmbridgeland: You obviously didn't read it because all my hubs are boring. It's kind of my trademark.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Hi nicomp-Fun suggestions and you have a good sense of humor. Do you buy on-line often? I never have but have heard it's easy.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Minnetonka Twin: Now is the time to start!


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 5 years ago from Moundsville, WV

nicomp,

That's a very nice boat in the advertisement but if I want a boat I'll have my old friend Skip Chaddock build one for me like he did for our Maritime Salvage Caper.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Tom Whitworth : But you will need a bike to ride to the boat and a shirt to wear while on the boat and a watch so you won't late for the caper.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

I have done my share of stimulating the economy this year. I'm shocked we are not in better shape!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I just broke down and bought an i-pad thingy. Not the Apple one, the cheap knock off Maylong M-150 from Walgreens for 99 bucks. It's a toy, but I hope this helps!


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 5 years ago

Good call Nicomp! After all where does the money go? It's hiding in the coffers of tight-(expletive deleted)!


tmbridgeland profile image

tmbridgeland 5 years ago from Small Town, Illinois

Nicomp, I swear I read it. Really. And I even came back and looked again. Maybe I'm just very easily amused?

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