What Causes Some People to Stress over Money More Than Others?
I heard an interesting fact the other day that really made me stop and think, it also made me take a good hard look at the differences between me and my fiance's views of our financial situation.
I will start with the fact: If as a child you grew up in a home with parents who shared their financial stresses with you, you will then more likely stress about finances as an adult. This goes for any financial standing, ex. poor, making it, rich, etc....(Maybe not the rich, but definitely the other two.)
When I was a child growing up my parents were not rich. I am not saying they were poor either. They both worked full time jobs to support both me and my sister. We always had food, clothing, and shelter. Our birthdays and holidays were always fun, and we both received our fair share of gifts. I can only speak for myself but I am certain my sister feels the same way. It was until I was older that I found out that my parents were struggling while raising us. My mom had said they would leave the table hungry until me and my sister were done eating and then they would go back for what was left, if there was something left. Her saying that really upsets me now because I am sure there were times I could have passed on fourths, but they were only concerned with us being full. Also my mom said there were times they had to skip some bills to pay others and try to catch up another month by skipping different ones. All the time they kept this to themselves we never knew. I knew we weren't 100% rich, but I never knew the struggles they faced to give us what they did!!!
My Fiance's Childhood
His parents also struggled as he was growing up. His mom and dad divorced when he was young, so for a time she was raising him on her own. He knew they didn't have much at times and he knew his mom was struggling. But she always did go the extra mile to make up for what she felt he was missing when she could. She had his brother when he was 12, her and his father also split a few years later. This made her a single mom to two. She worked to provide for them the best she could. They always had food, clothing and shelter, and they also had birthdays and holiday with gifts. My fiance and his brother knew she struggled to get the things they needed and any extras, unlike me and my sister who never knew.
Our Adult Money Views
As of right now today I can tell you that I am not rich and I am not poor, although the government likes to tell me that I am. My fiance works a full time job, I am a stay at home mom but I do receive some child support for my first two kids, I also sell Avon and I also use Ebay to generate some extra cash. With the two of us and the four children we are within the poverty guidelines for our area. Ouch!! Are we scraping pennies from hidden corners to survive? No, but my fiancé is always stressing about money. We have a house, we have food, we have three cars, we all have clothing, the kids have more toys than I know what to do with, and nobody is missing anything they need. (well I am sure the kids would beg to differ with having everything they could want) I pay the bills and we still have a little money left. I am perfectly fine with this, he is not. If any of us need or want something a little pricey then we have to save, no big deal. My point is we are not penniless but we don't have much extra.
So when I heard about how your parents financial stress can affect you as an adult it really made sense regarding my views as well as my fiance's views. I don't stress over money 98% of the time and if I do stress the other 2% of the time my children have no idea. However my fiance stresses 100% of the time, we could have $1 or even $1000 saved up and he will still stress!!!
So by writing this hub I just wanted to put it out their about how your financial stress can affect your children. Also I was hoping to make you think about your childhood and discover if it holds true to you.
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