Living in a Hotel Room, Starting Over, Past the Shame

July 19, 2010 Updated September 10, 2014

Getting Past the Shame, Climbing Up and Out

In Living in a hotel part I - Lilly started out with practical ideas to gather needed resources and networks for a basic launch pad, and getting in out of the weather and off the streets.

Living in a hotel Part I are ideas and practical things that can be done, to readjust to a compacted life. The certainty is that when a person has their nose to the proverbial wall, there is only one way out, and this is One step at a time.

Of the many hurdles faced by the homeless, is overcoming Shame. The homeless do not have a Political Action Committee. Those earning less than $1,000,000 per year, don't have runners in the Hall of Congress.

The only force or power that the homeless or poverty housed, have to count on Charity (love in action).

Most of the time, in order to get resources, the displaced are dependent upon getting the right social worker, timing, or resources available. This Hub: Part II is addressing the mental and emotional turmoil, that can make a person feel like the good part of their life is over. It is one thing to feel low; it is another to feel the repulsion from almost everyone you meet - it is an added weight to the heart, that drives some to give up Hope.

There is an old saying, "No one loves you when you are down." This is true in some ways, but Lilly thinks the truest thing is we don't love ourselves, for our situation.

These are times when we are tested, and hopefully will come out better for the experience.

A survivor; Lilly has been through homelessness, first as a young girl, and then as an adult.

Lilly cannot help but notice when people are going through hell, trials and tribulations, it isn't just one thing that falls apart. It seems like an avalanche of "stuff happens".

  • Is it because, the 'falling' is a spiral effect, drawing in every unsettled issue of a persons life?,
  • Is personal chaos a sort of safety mechanism to keep us from dwelling on One sorrow too much?

Well meaning and curious people ask, "Well, how did this happen?" "How did that happen?" In a couple of years, you will be able to look back at those questions and come up with some Snappy answers. While it is happening to you, it is not easy to discern that they are not really asking for the steps to a homeless family's fall. It is not true concern as to what could possibly have happened in a displaced person's life, that this could transpire.

They are really asking:

  • "What magic formula did you use to get caught in this mess?"
  • "How do I keep this from happening to me?"

No one wants homelessness to happen to them .


Where Do You Live When You Lose Your Home?

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Woman Asleep on Bench - Courtesy of www.Photo8.comKicked to the curb, falling through the cracks, people become the detritus of society - who is my brother?Man Asleep in Park - Courtesy of www.Photo8.comFinding a place to sleep on the streets can be difficult and dangerousLuck would have it that you find a hotel or motel that will work with youWhen a person has $5 to 'eat on' for a week or so; booze is calorie filled and cheaper than food
Woman Asleep on Bench - Courtesy of www.Photo8.com
Woman Asleep on Bench - Courtesy of www.Photo8.com | Source
Kicked to the curb, falling through the cracks, people become the detritus of society - who is my brother?
Kicked to the curb, falling through the cracks, people become the detritus of society - who is my brother? | Source
Man Asleep in Park - Courtesy of www.Photo8.com
Man Asleep in Park - Courtesy of www.Photo8.com | Source
Finding a place to sleep on the streets can be difficult and dangerous
Finding a place to sleep on the streets can be difficult and dangerous | Source
Luck would have it that you find a hotel or motel that will work with you
Luck would have it that you find a hotel or motel that will work with you | Source
When a person has $5 to 'eat on' for a week or so; booze is calorie filled and cheaper than food
When a person has $5 to 'eat on' for a week or so; booze is calorie filled and cheaper than food | Source

Stuff Happens, it has happened to you, remember you are valuable and needed

If you have lost your home, your job and/or loved ones and pets. It is not your failing, even if you made stupid mistakes. Stuff Happens. It has happened to you, but you are valuable and needed .

This will turn around...

We are all on a path of learning and awareness. When we climb the paths that are less traveled, steps walked by fewer individuals, it is a wild trek surrounded by new and seemingly impossible challenges.

Each "one step" carries you forward, up, and out.

Do not give up hope . If you can be thankful for any 'one thing' , focus on that one thing . Make it a mantra, but don't give up .

As true as it is that many people are one "bad week away from homelessness", it is also true that one more day of trying can change it all around . By personal experience, changes happen in a matter of nano-seconds. It can be one minute , a simple tap from your Wild Angel on the Shoulder of that compassionate person who can bring you change. One conversation, one small errand done for another that can shift the whole rotten situation.

You are Loved. Things will get better. Peace and Blessings to you.


No woman no cry by Bob Marley YouTube

Empathy

While writing this, finding a good quote on Empathy, led me to this work where Mother Teresa is quoted:

"Today I learned a good lesson. The poverty of the poor must be so hard for them. While looking for a home I walked and walked till my arms and legs ached. I thought how much they must ache in body and soul, looking for a home, food and health".[1]

[1] Spink, Kathryn (1997). Mother Teresa: A Complete Authorized Biography. New York. HarperCollins, pp.37. ISBN 0-06-250825-3

Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Teresa

© 2010 Lori J Latimer

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Comments 18 comments

lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Compassion is the key-and as you said, absolutely everyone is one bad day away from homelessness.

Thanks.


websclubs profile image

websclubs 6 years ago

Hi LillyGrillzit,

The homeless survivors guide-- homeless, is overcoming the shame One day at a time...

- The Web's Largest Education Portal.

see: http://education-portal.com

focus on one thing Job make it happen, Careers Online. Make it Staffing Agencies and Social Issues. No one loves you when you are down and out-- poverty of the poor, Homelessness Issues Social Issues. The long walk home: looking for a home, food and health?

"one bad day away from homelessness"

Employment agencies, recruiting firms, and headhunters for jobs. Education Community College students...Do not give up! Empathy fellow feeling.

Nice interesting hub Thanks.


gg.zaino profile image

gg.zaino 6 years ago from L'America

LILLY :)Hi! Thanx for the read...

So glad you shared this with me. Nice to see another kindred soul take up the banner. (A banner for those, whose voices are strangled, misinterpreted, and misunderstood)

In the midst of poverty and or addiction, for a majority of the homeless, it's a hopeless, and demoralizing situation.

Surviving on the fringe is met by many with angry words and critical appraisal.. "Why can't he or she get a job?" If only it were that easy! I had many homeless friends who were employed, including myself. We did survive.

In a society of the unenlightened and uncaring, the separation of the two worlds is truly, only an illusion.

Yours, is a message of hope, and a beacon of light, as a survivor yourself. Keep the light held high. Your voice is needed so - so- badly Lilly!

As you said, many finger pointers and accusers are themselves, "one bad week away from homelessness!"

(so many don't realize how close they really are!)

B@Peace my new friend, Great hub! greg z


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

Dear greg z,

Thank you for your soulful comments on this piece. I hoped you would feel my heart and the love I am sending to every disheartened person. I remember these experiments they conducted in the 1970's that although all participants were aware it was an experiment, children were so devestated some came near or committed suicide. On a given day, the teacher would say, "all of the brown eyed people are evil, they are corrupt, they can't be trusted, and no one wants anything to do with them" It did not take long before the brown-eyed students, some; top students and well liked, began to suffer. They did worse in their course work, their self-confidence plummeted. The next day, the teacher changed it to the blue-eyed students. Immediately, the brown-eyed students became aggressive in their dislike of the blue-eyed, and the blue-eyed students suffered as much as the brown-eyed the day before...they knew this was an experiment...but if I remember there was an attempted suicide from this. It shows how easy the crowd can be swayed against a person for ignorant reasons. I believe this is what the homeless, addicts and the "wrong skin-color" face in the unpopularity votes each day! The very best to you!


gg.zaino profile image

gg.zaino 6 years ago from L'America

Lilly,

:) I thank the fates that the sun shines so brightly these days! It's funny the resonse i've gotten to my recent piece. Some folks have said, "They started it all by taking that first drink or drug, can get a real job if they wanted to...blah blah blah!!!!"

I've got no time for those weak in the ways of the enlightened.. my time is best spent in waking the sleeper not keeping him awake..

peace again 2 u Lilly - ur friend and colleague, crying in the dark - greg z.... ~-]:


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

It is of a truth that the people who are posting those type of things are very afraid that it "will get off on them". As we used to say under the train bridge, "Don't let the Bas$ards get you down!" There is goodness and truth. There are people who take the nudge and hint from their angels...Sending comfort and protections...


gg.zaino profile image

gg.zaino 6 years ago from L'America

We used to say "Screw Em!" [that's putting it kindly.] There are allot of good souls out there Lilly and many who are but don't know it. 'Survivor gal' You just keep writing to the sleepers...for the voiceless.. As well, I promise to do the same! peace my friend.. greg z


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

gregz, come back anytime!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa

Somehow, shortly or long after a bad experience, we realize that it was necessary for us – without that we would not be able to do/bear/tolerate/understand our current experience. Well-written hub, Lilly!


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

Dear Martie, thank you very much for giving this a read. It is much easier to understand after having come through and survived. The very best to you, thanks for the nice comment! :0)


ANewsLine profile image

ANewsLine 6 years ago from Lahore

Thank you dear Martie . you give so informational article


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

Yes, thank you Martie, you do give so much when you write.

ANewsLine, thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.


ralwus 5 years ago

One thing I learned in my experience, sympathy can only be found in a dictionary between shit and syphilis. I finally moved on and life is grand.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

Rawlus! Very strong words to live by. (( Hugs )),


rtman2012@yahoo.com 5 years ago

I read this guide thing and I wanted to say how very "on the money" it is. Back in 2006 to 2008 I was making over 180,000.00 a year in my profession as a Operations Manager at a very large transportation company.

At the end of 2008 I was let go after the company tanked in stock prices and was liquidated. I looked for a YEAR for a job just barely living off of my savings and unemployment until it all ran out.

No job, no money and my mortgage was now 4 months behind and I was in foreclosure. I went for a month with no electricity. By May of 2009 I was out on the street with nothing but a duffle bag full of clothes and one small ceramic note holder that I made for my mother when I was a child.

I spent months out on the streets with nothing, not even my pride. I did have to let that go when I needed food and was sitting in front of a case worker asking for food stamps.

Luckily I had a VERY caring case worker who took extreme pitty on me as I sat there at her desk in tears. She not only approved me for emergency food stamps but she also gave me some great referals to shelters and to community action groups that could and would help me in my crisis.

Had I only gone to see her sooner, I wouldnt have had to suffer so long. I am still getting back on my feet but I'm doing it the right way. I'm renting a decent size room in a house and I'm a full time student at my community college. I'm studying Respiratory Therapy and I graduate in 2012.

I get financial aid which pays my rent every three months and gave me money to afford to buy a vehicle. I have a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, food in my stomache, new friends and a new career on the horizon. My pride was a hard thing to swollow because I thought noone would help me. I was treated like a king when I was in charge of my old job but treated like dirt when I was on the streets.

When I thought that noone cared about me. That noone loved me and noone wanted me around, someone proved me wrong. I was fully prepared to be declined that day in the welfare office and I was planning to kill myself that night to end my suffering. Just that moment I spent there in her office or maybe it was the tear she saw fall down my cheek, my life changed.

I stumbled on this article by chance I'll say because I dont believe it was an accident but I'm so greatful to you for reminding me of the good the bad and the ugly. God loves us all even when humans may and he/she will send to you an angel in the times of your deepest sorrow. I believe he knew I was at my breaking point and it was not my time.

Thank you again, God love you and so do I.

Michael


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

Michael, I am weeping, reading your response to this Hub. Thank you. How we survived is nothing short of a miracle. I am so happy, that God put a compassionate human being on your path. I believe your finding this article was meant to be, and it warms my heart to know others will be touched and/or possibly helped, by the shear fact that we made it.

Congratulations on your new career, and a stomach with food, a warm roof, and a bed. These are things many people take for granted. It should not have happened to you, but it did.

Thank you for telling your story, because there may be another soul on the brink of hopelessness...may they find us, and get another blink of hope, to go on, one more day.

The very best to you in your future, and thank you for remembering those who need a person to act as an angel of mercy and kindness.


Colleen 5 years ago

This is your 'rtman2012'. Follow the link to read about the 'Michael' you cry over. You've been scammed lady.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas Author

Colleen, thank you for clearing that up.

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