Occupy Wall Street - Buy Stuff

Down with capitalism

Occupy Wall Street in this fashionable basic men's t-shirt. You can make the police's job significantly easier. It makes a great base layer to keep you toasty warm throughout those long nights camping in city parks. No one will ever ask you for a job when you're resplendent in this garment.

Everyone needs at least one shirt and it should be this one. Be the envy of all your friends who are stuck wearing Member's Only Jackets purchased at Goodwill. Protest in style!

Caution: don't stand on your head, else you will become the 66%.

The Definitive Guide To Occupy Wall Street

Are you confused about the occupy? Are you wondering exactly how to perform occupation? Pick up valuable tips and tricks from this epic tome. World-famous occupiers come together to explain precisely how to make camp using a parking meter as a tent pole. Check out the chapter on famous occupations throughout history, including occupy Kokomo and occupy Oskosh.

Support Occupy Wall Street Poster

Use this poster as a blanket or an impromptu shield when the tear gas starts raining down. Hang it on the wall of the apartment that your parent's pay for. Sell it on eBay for soup money.

Order a professionally framed copy - artists deserve to make money because they are held down by capitalism and Big Photography.

Occupy Wall Street We Are the 99% Shirt

Desecrate the American flag with all your friends by proudly sporting this t-shirt the next time you gather for a march down Main Street. TV cameras will flock to you. Your Mom will be so proud.

We are the 99% OWS Occupy Wall Street Protest Ceramic Coffee Cup Mug

Fill it with Starbucks mocha latte foamy expresso and tell the mainstream media it's Fair Trade: no one wil be the wiser. Use it to bathe in after interminable months of occupation on public property. Store all your worldly possessions in it after The Man unceremoniously fires you for showing up on the nightly news after calling in sick 5 days in a row.

Occupy Wall Street License Plate Frame

Trick out your borrowed Toyota Prius with this adorable license plate frame. You don't even need to own a license plate, but who cares? A license plate is a simply tool of Big Metal intended to hold you down anyway.

This bezel will be the envy of all the other unemployed hipsters hanging out until free sandwiches arrive from MoveOn.org.

We are the 99% OWS Occupy Wall Street Protest 2.25 inch Key Chain Button Style

Earnest occupiers are forever losing the keys to their pup tents. This handy contrivance securely tethers your keys while you lock hands with your neighbors and march confidently toward the riot police.

It's a real bummer, dude, to trudge back to the campground after a long day of holding up a rhyming placard, only be locked out of your domicile. We're here to help.

I AM THE 99% OWS Occupy Wall Street Protest 2.25 inch Bottle Opener with Key Ring

Even a protester/occupier needs a drink now and then. Dehydration poses a major threat to those who would earnestly disrupt capitalism in the name of everything except capitalism. Deploy this handy bottle opener to deploy thirst-quenching liquids to cool yourself off when voices of reason cause you to break into a sweat.

OWS Hat

Your head needs a sturdy and stylish hat regardless of your political bent. You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile or you may find yourself pontificating against pretty much everything as long as the TV cameras are rolling, or you may find yourself blogging on a smart phone built by the Big Corporations against which you campaign. You still need a hat because you will inevitably suffer from serious bed head after collapsing onto your air mattress following an exhausting day of making bail.

You need a hat that fits conveniently onto your protesting head at a moment's notice. When the bulldozers roll in and your tent city is plowed under, you'll have no time to primp.

Conclusion

Free speech is a wonderful thing. Without free speech, we'd probably assume that everyone agrees with us.

Whip out your credit card or your parents' credit card, and order up numerous OWS paraphernalia. We won't be sorry.

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Comments 6 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

nicomp - everyone does NOT agree with us??? What a bummer!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: I love the dialog.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia

Awesome


Derdriu 4 years ago

Nicomp: Is it politically correct or incorrect for me to mix survivor camo stretch flare pants with a culture finger watch and footwear and an OWS hat and shirt at the end of time?

Still in stitches as I vote up, etc.,

Derdriu


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Derdriu: You are so nice! The occupiers will not judge you by your accoutrement. Worry not.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

Very clever and funny hub. Voted up and hit many a button.

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