Do You Trust Retirement Calculators?

The Cheese Wizard Retirement Calculator will help you figure out how many boxes you can afford during retirement.
The Cheese Wizard Retirement Calculator will help you figure out how many boxes you can afford during retirement.

Yay, We're On Pace to Retire...Or Not!

Retirement calculators are like weather predictions in Texas: if you wait five minutes, the results will change. Today I was checking my husband's modest retirement savings account, which was the numero uno reason he took his new job. He is 43 and the retirement clock is ticking.

If you are a student of retirement planning and personal finance, then you've already heard that if you're 22 and you save $6,000 dollars, you don't have anything to worry about, because by the time you're 65, you'll be sitting on a nice pile of cash--at least a million in your favorite currency. That's sound advice and I wish I were 22 again, but like all the other poor schleps in their 30's, life happened, and here I am, trying to figure out if I'm going to be able to retire when I'm 65, or 68, or 71.

Life happens. And while I am thankful that things are improving lately, the last 10 years before that were a little messy, so our retirement portfolio is a on the...lean side.

Today I was checking our new retirement plan using the retirement planning calculator from the investment site where we keep our funds, and good news! We are on track! The retirement calculator said, after I entered all of my numbers, including the money we are saving to make up for NOT doing it in our 20s, that if we use their calculations for Social Security and the probable investment income from our other accounts, we will be able to retire before my husband's 69th birthday. And fortunately for us, our children will all be out of the house by then, too, (I hope)!

Well, I was on a roll and feeling pretty good about that. I don't have to go to the corner store and buy lottery tickets anymore. And while it might be necessary for me to get a part-time job somewhere that is friendly to older folks, that won't be too bad either. I won't want to be cooped up in the house anyway. So what gives?

I went to a second web site and plugged the exact same numbers into THEIR retirement calculator, just to see what would happen, and got some very different news. "In a bad economy," their calculator warned, "you will experience a shortfall of funds by the time you are 75." Wha...? Huh?

Use their figures to calculate social security? Sure. But don't expect much. It won't be enough. To make up the shortfall we can save an extra $1500.00 a month, and please be sure to deposit those funds into the investment company's special advisor account, because our investment strategy is too risky!

How do the Retirement Calculators Compare?

So are we on pace to retire on our current income, or not? Both of the retirement calculators I used asked for essentially the same information. How much income does my partner and I earn each year? How much are we saving monthly? How much do we already have tucked away in retirement accounts?

But retirement calculator number two felt a little bit like a thinly-veiled excuse to find out where I was REALLY keeping my money, so the investment company could convince me to convert, roll-over, and play dead. Oops, not what I meant to say. It also asked me to project my anticipated inheritances. Great Aunt Matilda. Not dead yet. But she should be by 2026. Hmmn, let's fiddle with the numbers and see what would happen if she passes in 2024. A little morbid. And besides, I saw no indication that they took my predictions into account.

So what did I learn from this? I realized that not all retirement calculators are created equally. 

I don't really want to hear that the glass is almost empty from the company that is housing my retirement nest egg. But I don't want to hear the glass is almost full if it really isn't, either. I'm pretty darn lucky to have a glass at all, and I want reassurances that I'm doing the right thing, and that my eating macaroni and cheese several times a month is going to help me keep putting it on the table well into my 90s.

If you are using your investment company's retirement calculator, get a second and even a third opinion. And learn as much as you can about the different type of retirement investments available to you, including the differences between traditional and Roth IRAs, 401Ks, and employee matching programs.

Since They're Going to Depress You Anyway...

I think trying to save for retirement in today's economic environment takes a little bit of creativity and sense of humor. To that end, I suggest that retirement calculators steer clear of telling people how soon they will be completely broke, and instead, give advice measured by boxes of macaroni and cheese.

The Macaroni and Cheese Retirement Calculator Inputs

  • Years to Retirement: ___________
  • Amount in 401K: _______________
  • Amount you Plan to Save Monthly: ____________
  • Number of hungry people you will be responsible for feeding: ________

The Macaroni and Cheese Retirement Calculator's Results

The Macaroni and Cheese Retirement Calculator estimates that you will be able to afford 34 boxes of macaroni and cheese each month to feed 2 hungry mouths in your family after you retire at age 65. However, if you take a part time job at a fast food restaurant, you will probably be able to eat your meals free, thus enabling you to continue buying 34 boxes of macaroni and cheese until you reach age 82, at which time you will no longer be able to digest it anyway.

If you increase your withholding by $100 a month, you will be able to buy 10 more boxes of macaroni and cheese a month, which has an indefinite shelf life, and is rich in fortified vitamins and comes in Spiderman shapes.


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Comments 13 comments

Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

It is very good advice and well laid out and written. Ritement is a great worry these days.


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Hey there Hello,hello! I agree. Retirement is a scary thing and the economy has wreaked havoc with everyone's retirement savings funds. We all operated on a different plane of reality before the economy went downhill. Now I see people getting boxes from the food bank. I pray for older folks who are struggling to make ends meet through all of this.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 6 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Since I'm already retired I can warn that no matte how much planning you do, the future is unpredictable. Fortunately my wife like macaroni and cheese, although I don't.


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks dahoglund, I completely agree with you. It's still on the horizon for us, but my best conclusion given the fact that I didn't even consider medical costs in my calculations, is save as much as we can and find a living arrangement that is as inexpensive as possible. Life is so completely unpredictable, it is really the best we can do.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

Great hub . Such a serious topic , yet you still manage to make me laugh. Thank you. I need to laugh or I'd cry . Our retirement forecast was so abysmal, I've assumed it's a mistake. !!!!!!!!!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

lol. I never much liked retirement calculators either. I say one should simply set goals in the shorter term, and then meet them. When it comes to money you should never leave it sitting and expect it to work for you. You have to be engaged if you want money to do what it is supposed to.

Think of it like a guy who likes to fish and so he's got that nice boat sitting in the garage. He goes out and tends it, checks the oil, MAINTAINS it because he wants to be able to use the boat when he wants to. He knows if he parks it and does nothing it's going to get all gummed up, it might not even start when he gets it on the water.

Money is no different. It isn't going to be there when you need it if you do nothing with it in the beforehand.


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks Springboard, I like your analogy. We do need to put our money to work. I'm a huge fan of value investing and those dividend money machines touted by the Motley Fool brothers. Investing in the stock market is an active process, as is saving and investing for retirement, regardless of the path we choose to get there.


emievil profile image

emievil 6 years ago from Philippines

Never tried the retirement calculators (they're not applicable here) :). But thanks for the heads-up. By the way, I like your pic on the rating up, very effective because it reminded me to rate you up :). Can I copy that photo for my hubs? :D


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Hi emievil, I saw the idea on another writer's hubs and made one similar for myself. You are welcome to copy it. Some day I plan to make a snazzier-looking pic, but this one does the job. Thanks for the rating! I figure about 60-70% of my readers aren't familiar with HubPages and its rating system, so it doesn't hurt to draw attention to that particular feature.


emievil profile image

emievil 6 years ago from Philippines

Thanks. :)


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

I love the idea of the mac and cheese calculator. The whole idea of saving as much money as many advise is just about impossible for most people. Thanks for putting it in a humorous light.


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors Author

Thanks Delores. Hope springs eternal, and truthfully I enjoy cooking from scratch so we won't be eating too much mac and cheese! But it certainly drives home the point.


Fiduciary Adviser 6 years ago

Thanks for the laugh! Much more enjoyable than most retirement calculators!

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