Safe Money

You Need Safe Money

Accumulating gold, silver, platinum, and cash obligates some place to hide it all. Banks offer big vaults. Is your money truly safe in their safe? Bank employees are in and out of there all day. Who knows what goes on when banker's hours are over? Perhaps the bankers throw Super Bowl parties amongst your valuables. Can you risk guacamole stains on your not-so-safe money? We can't.

Depend on yourself to hide your own valuables. Protect your investments. Our favorite auction site provides numerous opportunities for money hiding contrivances that would fool 007 on his best day. A hulking hardened steel combination-locked safe built into the foundation is old-school. These days we stash our valuables in plain sight. You'll never look at a Pringles can the same way.

Hide your valuables in a rock?

You probably already have rocks in your yard. Many people do. Decorative stones dot landcapes and trim walkways. We purchase designer rocks from Home Depot and Lowes.

What lurks within those adjunct stones just might surprise you. Instead of more rock, some rocks contain strategically stored household items. The key to the castle can sometimes be extracted from what appears to be ancient volcanic effluvium.

Wall Outlet Safe

Efficient burglars know where to look for the safe money. After defeating your alarm system and rifling china cabinets, they often forget to check the electrical outlets. Unless your thief needs to charge his cell phone, your valuables are probably secure when hidden in a wall outlet safe. Not only will your money be safe, your home will be partially babyproofed.

The average robber spends about 8 minutes in an average home. As harried as his schedule is, he rarely brings along an outlet tester to evaluate your wiring. Rest assured that whatever you can cram in there will almost certainly be there when you arrive home to find yourself a victim.

Pringles Can Diversion Safes

A Frito's bag or a sugar bowl would be less tempting, even to a theif on a schedule. Consider carefully that a hungry invader just might toss your Pringle's cans into his pillow case based soley on the original contents. No one can resist the amalgm of potatos and flour industrially melded into a saddle-shaped snack.

The bottom is removeable but the top seal remains intact. Looking to all the world like an unopened can of Pringles, this crime-stopping device swallows tube-shaped valuables and hides them in plain sight. It doesn't look out of place in any household: we all love Pringles regardless of social standing.

Working Thermometer for Safe Money

Consider that anyone robbing your domicile gives little thought to the interior of exterior temperature. Leverage this knowledge by secreting valuable items in this ingenious contrivance. Your theif will be miles down the road before realizing that a thermometer in the bathroom was perhaps out of place.

Anticipate hiding small items that you wouldn't normally tuck into a wall thermomoeter. No one will suspect. A wedding ring, Taco Bell coupons, and the key to you BMW would all fit.

Diversion Soda Can Safes

Rescued from the recycling bin, these exceedingly useful safe money havens swallow wads of cash. A thirsty thief won't be tempted unless you hide it in the refrigerator. Imagine his surprise when he fills a glass with ice and pops the top of a Pepsi containing Grandmother's pearls.

The top looks like an average soda can, the bottom comes off for easy safety. Afford yourself the ultimate in diversion safes from our favorite online auction site.

Dictionary Diversion Safe

No one actually reads a dictionary anyway: cutting away a few pages to tuck in the family fortune makes perfect sense. Go online to find definitions. Resist the urge to line your bookshelves with these pseudo-tomes. No family owns more than one dictionary. It's not as if we require a copy for everyone in the family.

Inside the book is an authentic metal safe requiring a key to access. No one would think to steal the entire book.

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Comments 13 comments

Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 4 years ago from East Coast, United States

The last time I visited my local bank, they displayed the interest rates they pay on various accounts. For new passbooks savings accounts, the interest paid is a big fat ZERO. I imagine that lots of folks will be stuffing their money in fake rocks and coffee cans burried in the back yard.


eric-carter profile image

eric-carter 4 years ago from Fulham, UK

Great, voting up!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Excellent reasoning, nicomp, the dictionary safe is the best choice. No one uses the dictionary any more. How do I know? Just read enough HP comments and you'll see what I mean! :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: High praise from a Level 8 Commenter. :)


Vin Chauhun profile image

Vin Chauhun 4 years ago from Durban

switch to depositing toilet paper[cheapest brand available] to your local bank and keep your money under your bed but first make sure the bed bugs are not present....or u find your momey is not there...because they will have deposited it with the termites for higher interest and added value


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Vin Chauhun: Well played, my friend. Every hub needs a bedbug reference. I owe you one.


Vin Chauhun profile image

Vin Chauhun 4 years ago from Durban

one more point to note, bug spray is best used on bankers ans hedge fund managers, for it is them that cause sleepless nights and not the bedbugs.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Vin Chauhun: Have you found such in your mattress?


Vin Chauhun profile image

Vin Chauhun 4 years ago from Durban

not yet......:)I am thinking of taking in a group of bug refugees, they were attacked by a neighbor used pesticides against them , only three survived.i have also instituted a war crimes against my neighbor for killing two hundred bugs by using chemical weapons.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Vin Chauhun: But... will the bugs be using safe money practices? Note how I brought the thread back to the to he topic of the hub. I'm tricky that way.


one2get2no profile image

one2get2no 4 years ago from Olney

Interesting hub and point of view.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@one2get2no : I agree. Do you practice safe money?


collegecredit101 4 years ago from Joliet, IL

Just loving the pringles can safe idea!! Nice hub !!

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