Staple Remover Reviews

Staple Remover Reviews

Nothing beats a staple when you need to stick a short narrow wire through two or more sheets of paper in order to bind them together in a semi-temporary fashion.

Virtually all of us in the real world require the services of a staple at one time in our productive professional lives. For many folks, a paper clip is simply too complex and often too expensive. No one uses the 'fold and tear' method any more, unless working in an office wherein common sense has taken a holiday.

For better or worse, the useful life of an individual staple sometimes reaches an untimely end. The sheaf of papers owner suddenly realizes an urgent need to insert each page individually into a processing device such as a scanner, fax machine, or copier. Unfortunately, many staple users prefer to blithely extract the hard-working length of wire without regard to reuse. A staple remover becomes necessary.

Fingernails will do the job, but one could also use a chainsaw to trim ones' underarm hair. A proper staple remover, a purpose-built staple extractor, a specially engineered staple grabber/puller/yanker is an absolute requirement for every modern office that's not housed in the parent's basement. Herein we present a survey of such equipment.

Aggressively manually remove your staples
Aggressively manually remove your staples

Swingline Deluxe Staple Remover

Swingline staplers represent the pinnacle of staple deployment technology, but few consumers know of their nonpareil line of staple removers. We in the staple removal business refer to them as destaplers, but you don't have to.

This incredible device looks like something used at Gitmo to remove staples from recalcitrant documents. If a passive-aggressive office supply was ever invented, you're looking at it. A steady hand and a paid up insurance plan are necessary to properly leverage the value of a Swingline Deluxe Staple Remover. Don't hesitate to call in first responders if the thing bites back. Dracula inspired the toothy profile. If free band-aids aren't included in the box, they certainly should be.

It's more than just a staple remover.
It's more than just a staple remover.

Swingline Tot Stapler with Built-in Staple Remover, Pre-packed with 1000 Swingline Standard Staples

Swingline extends its' dominance of the staple industry with this colorful line of tiny destaplers. Each unit has a specially engineered stapler built into it. Office efficiency will increase by approximately .37 per cent as dedicated stapling personnel find themselves applying staples and removing them with the same device. No more time will be lost putting down the destapler and reaching for a stapler. As if that isn't significant enough, these miniature marvels come packed with over 999 real staples.

Somehow the Swingline Corporation has managed to combine all the stapling accoutrement into a unified package. It's the Swiss army knife of the office junk drawer. Buy a complete set of primary colors for every office aficionado in your gift list.

Use the magic of magnetism to retrieve wayward staples.
Use the magic of magnetism to retrieve wayward staples.

Swingline Ultimate Staple Remover

Evidently the staple removal engineers and scientists at Swingline never sleep. Somehow they managed to combine magnetism and leverage into a compact and efficient staple removing tool. This device is simply lethal to any piece of bent wire stuck into a stack of papers.

Never again will you watch helplessly as a recently removed staple spins away into the oblivion of your shag carpet, only to be retrieved by an innocent big toe several months into the future. This gizmo will pay for itself in reduced tetanus shots. It's been carefully designed to remove standard size and also mini staples.

Swingline knows how much abuse a staple remover endures: they thoughtfully provide a 1 year warranty with every tool. Don't use it to clean your refrigerator, but rest assured that it will be there when your top secret papers require unbundling.

Remove your heavy duty staples
Remove your heavy duty staples

Swingline Heavy Duty Staple Remover

Roll out the serious destaplers when necessary. Instead of reaching for a tiny, albeit colorful, miniature staple remover, deploy serious hardware that no staple can resist. Even the most rugged staple will release its' grip on your documents when subjected to the leverage generated by this monster. You could use this beast to strip your roof, but that will probably void the warranty.

This remover is constructed from authentic metal and is spring loaded to guarantee a smooth return to battle stations immediately after each successful staple removal. It's engraved with the tasteful Swingline script logo, removing all doubts that you might be purchasing off-brand heavy duty staple removers.

Heavy duty staples are no match for this tool, while smaller staples will practically jump out of the paper and back into their little plastic dispenser.

Conclusion

It's OK to use staples and it's OK to remove them. Embrace your love of staples and the tools that manipulate them.

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Comments 6 comments

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Thanks for the info. Personally, I love using a chainsaw.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@breakfastpop: I think Amazon sells those.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Can I get Bob to use a chain saw to shave? I think it might improve his manly disposition having more POWER, don't you think?

Cool hub on staple removers, but I think eventually even staples will go into the same office supply dungeon as carbon paper.


Kindacrazy profile image

Kindacrazy 5 years ago from Tennessee

Nothing better than a good yanker.


Jeff_McRitchie 5 years ago

Good article, great information especially since people don't seen to talk about staplers on a regular basis


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Jeff_McRitchie : I agree completely. Why the subject is avoided so studiously is beyond me.

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