Still Making Money on the Internet

Hello Again

It's Joe again. If you don't remember me, you should read this first, then read this. I'll wait...

Thank you.

This is my pool boy's house because we have a really really big in-ground pool.
This is my pool boy's house because we have a really really big in-ground pool.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

If you read my previous letters to you, you know what I was once a down-and-out loser with no prospects and no friends. One day I figured out a way to Make Money On The Internet. I got my wife back and I had lots of money. Then, as you probably know, I lost it all on a few bad investments. Then I got it all back again when I thought up another way to Earn Money On The Internet.

So, that's where I am now. I have all the money I could ever need. My friends love me and my dog follows me around. We own numerous expensive automobiles and vacation homes all over the world. I own so many leather jackets that I needed to build an extra closet. My wife recently hired her own personal dog walker for our pit bulls. We spend all our time reclining by the in-ground pool while drinking exotic drinks. Soon I will be getting my teeth fixed and having my neck tattoo removed.

You are probably wondering why I am writing to you again. If things are going so well, why would I bother to contact you? Obviously I don't need you or your money. The answer is very simple. Recently, I was watching the Steven Segal classic Under Siege on one of the many 60" 3D LED TVs I have in my rumpus room, when I suddenly realized that something was missing from my life.

WHAT COULD BE MISSING FROM MY LIFE??

I realized that even though I am an Internet Millionaire with money, cars, and leather jackets, I have no persona.

That probably surprises you. It shocked the bejeebers out of me. How can I rake in Millions of Dollars On The Internet unless I have a persona?

I NEED TO FIND A PERSONA

You may or may not know what a persona is. As an Internet Millionaire, I know what a persona is. A persona is the way that people view you as An Internet Millionaire. For example, there's a guy called "The Rich Jerk." He sells his Making Money On The Internet plans even as he insults and demeans his customers. He rakes in millions selling books, tapes, books on tape, and web hosting. He hangs out by a really big in-ground pool with girls. People love to be insulted by him because he's rich. They want to be just like him, except for the jerky part.

MAYBE I COULD BE A RICH JERK

This persona doesn't fit me very well. Since I have become rich by Making Millions On The Internet, I have become too nice to be a jerk.

PERHAPS I CAN BE A RICH JANITOR?

There's another guy called The Rich Janitor. People adore him because he came from humble beginnings and made his fortune by Making Money On The Internet. He's a humble fellow. He sells a simple plan that anyone can follow to also get Rich On The Internet. I bet he has lots of Internet friends and a really big in-ground pool. I do know he has lots of domain names that all center around the Rich Janitor theme:

  • www.Rich-Janitor.com
  • www.TheRichJanitorSystem.com
  • www.RichJanitor.com
  • www.RichJanitorReview.com
  • www.RichJanitor.com

I think all these sites are about the same janitor. They may refer to different rich janitors who all Made Money On The Internet, but I doubt it. There can't be that many rich janitors. If there were that many rich janitors, then there would be no one to sweep up after the parties around my in-ground pool.

MAYBE I COULD JOIN THE RICH KIDS?

There's a cool bunch of hip guys called The Rich Kids. They help people Make Money Fast. Go to their site and all you have to do is Click Now To Begin Making Money. It would be great to be part of that gang. They seem like such nice boys. We could all hang out by the in-ground pool and make infomercials together.

I NEED YOUR HELP

Can you help me? Together we can build myself a persona. I'm open to all your suggestions, but if you buy a copy of my latest eBook I will pay special attention to you and your ideas. We are all in this together. My success is your success. I believe in you. I know you can help me.

Thanks,

Joe

Help me choose my Internet Persona

  • RichHomeBoy.com
  • RichSkinHead.com
  • RichIllegalAlien.com
  • RichMexican.com
  • RichDryWallHanger.com
  • RichStandingInfrontOfHomeDepot.com
  • RichTaxiDriver.com
  • RichPoet.com
  • RichStarvingArtist.com
  • RichLiberalArtsMajor.com
  • RichBarista.com
  • RichBusBoy.com
  • RichFormerActressNowOnInfomercials.com
  • RichVirtualFarmer.com
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Comments 22 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

how about billionaireboyclubber? [smiles]


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

You could start with the domain: Rich.Janitor.Jerk.com. I believe it's available. In fact, I'll sell it to you at half-price.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: sold!


dabeaner profile image

dabeaner 6 years ago from Nibiru

How 'bout:

RichHomeBoy.com

RichSkinHead.com

RichIllegalAlien.com

RichMexican.com

RichDryWallHanger.com

RichStandingInfrontOfHomeDepot.com

RichTaxiDriver.com (Oh, wait, Wade Cooke got that one)

RichPoet.com

RichStarvingArtist.com

RichLiberalArtsMajor.com

...


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Just keep your cotton-pickin' mits off "the Poor Bastard", that's MINE!

I now live in Po'Ore (The gold chamber-pot) on the Spanish Riviera on half an acre of infertile land, and hide the signs of my immense Nigerian fortune by working part time as a barista (bar steward) in the local brothel.

I too have an in-ground pool. In keeping with my low profile it's made from an old cast iron bath which I found nearby being used as a horse trough and buried up to its rim next to my stable - er - summer holiday residence. I've cleaned out most of the residue from it's previous owner and use it to post comments on Hubpages. What's left adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the bathwater.

Your mother sends her love Joe, and asks you not to keep asking for loans as you don't repay them. I see her often where I work.

Yours in fortune,

Thomas Osama Finnigan-Umbutu.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@The Old Firm: You have confirmed everything I already suspected about you. :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@dabeaner: I already own all those domains. And I'm not as rich as Joe.


dabeaner profile image

dabeaner 6 years ago from Nibiru

RichBarista.com

RichBusBoy.com

RichFormerActressNowOnInfomercials.com

RichVirtualFarmer.com

Please stop me...


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@dabeaner: quite the contrary... you are providing me with content. ;)


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Hey dabeaner, you spying on my farm man?

TOF


dabeaner profile image

dabeaner 6 years ago from Nibiru

OK nicomp, glad to help.

TOF: No, I am just blowing my genetically modified pollen and seeds into your land. Next year you will owe me royalties. (I am an agent for Monsanto, you know.)

Both: Let's see which one of you registers these first:

TheRichBracero.com

TheRichShareCropper.com


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 6 years ago from Nashville, TN

Nicomp - Who needs to go outside and play now?

Great hub though. Your Photoshop skills are unparalleled. That monster truck totally looks like it's sitting in the driveway.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Stan Fletcher: Photoshop!! Why didn't I think of that? It's got to be cheaper than staging the shot.


theboxmeister profile image

theboxmeister 6 years ago

An very nice and detailed About page.


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

dabeaner : Thanks for the pollen man, I'm sending my seven legged rats to tear you to shreds with their mandibles.

Nicomp : I should have looked closer. I thought it was a cute farm bike!

theboxmeister : Did I miss something?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@The Old Firm: Go easy on boxy ;)


Dense profile image

Dense 6 years ago from somewhere in a concrete jungle, hugging a green plastic tree, and wondering what happened

Nice truck, you have. :D


Gerber Ink profile image

Gerber Ink 6 years ago from upstate New York

ROFL! You're killing me here nicomp! BTW, I'd check on that satellite dish- it might fall through the roof at any moment, crushing those expensive television sets.

Domain suggestions:

RichYetConfused.com

RichBeyondBelief.com

RichAndLovingIt.com

RichInternetDude.com

Or, an old favorite, EatTheRich.com


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Gerber Ink: Eat the Rich is one of my all-time favorite books by PJ O'Rourke. Good suggestion!

The roof of Joe's Pool Boy's house is high-strength structural steel reinforced with carbon fiber, all disguised as roofing shingles. That satellite dish ain't going nowhere!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I never know about this before. But I'll find out more about this site. It make me curious. Thank you very much!


Bolthorn profile image

Bolthorn 6 years ago

I would like to suggest UberRichIndigentImmigrant.com. With that kind of persona, you could upgrade your in-ground pools to solid gold in-ground pools filled with vintage wine in which to swim.


mathewshower profile image

mathewshower 6 years ago from Florida

What bout "Rich(ard)"

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