Do you have a deal?
Internet activities fall into two categories: reading Sarah Palin's email and looking for good deals on stuff. We need more stuff. Whatever stuff we currently own pales in comparison to the awesomeness of online offerings. Everybody wants to think they are getting a bargain. Even a reliably delicious can of Pringles tastes better when ostensibly purchased at a discount.
To serve our insatiable lust for deals, web sites spring up like mushrooms under the front porch of a mushroom factory. Every pronounceable combination of the word 'deal' has been folded into a domain name chock full of stuff on sale. Bargains abound.
Sentient shoppers know about popular sites such as woot.com and overstock.com. Woot offers a 'daily deal' while The Big O represents a galaxy of discounted stuff. Somewhere in the industrialized world, over-industrious manufacturers build too many widgets. These nifty sites provide alternate distribution channels. Many shoppers still end up at The Mall, but deal-oriented web sites provide a level of flexibility and anonymity that cannot be matched by a kiosk in a promenade.
Here is a great deal
Consider, if you will, one particular deal. The Akribos XXIV Davinci Collection Hand-Wind Mechanical Skeleton Movement Stainless Steel Men's Watch represents a bargain of awesome proportions that can be snapped up at any number of web sites. Aside from being unpronounceable without a pause for breath, this device provides a level of gravitas unrivaled by anything else that can be wrapped around a wrist, except perhaps for a live snake or Oprah.
This watch is cool. It tells the time, but it makes you work for it. A simple glance at the watch face provides no information whatsoever and may induce vertigo. It requires manual winding. In this modern era of digital devices, it's simply analog and elegantly inelegant. You want one.
It must be a bargin - the product name is awesome
Let us parse the polysyllabic product name assigned to this chronograph:
Akribos: Perhaps the company name, but there's no company at Akribos.com
XXIV : Roman numerals make everything more impressive. Even a toilet seems desirable with a few X's and V's appended to it.
Davinci Collection: Everyone knows that Leonardo Davinci loved his watches. He probably owned several of these.
Hand-Wind: Suddenly it's become cool to crank your watch. We don't need no stinkin' batteries.
Mechanical: Gears are in, computers are out.
Skeleton Movement: No clue what this means.
Stainless Steel: As opposed to titanium or peanut butter.
Men's Watch: This product will never be stocked at Victoria's Secret.
Where can this watch be found?
This watch is such a deal. Yahoo retrieves over one thousand sites that sell it. It's on sale every day, marked down from over 700 dollars to under 70 dollars. Someone is losing money hand over fist. Should we feel sorry for overeager manufacturers who unintentionally flooded the market with super-cool watches? Probably not. It's up to us, as responsible consumers, to relieve the pressure. We have an obligation to own more stuff: here's a great place to start.
How many sites offer this deal?
As any computer geek knows, a web site name (URL) must be unique from all other web site names. The most popular and easily remembered sites end in '.com.' In order to sell watches and other super-deals, a web site name should include the word 'deal.' Entrepreneurs quickly become desperate and imaginative: folding in the word 'deal' becomes challenging. Here are a few sites that will happily sell you the Akribos XXIV Davinci Collection Hand-Wind Mechanical Skeleton Movement Stainless Steel Men's Watch:
Seize the deal. Look online for daily bargains, real-time sales, and overstock offerings. Jump into the deal-o-rama with your mouse and your credit card. It's all fun and games until someone misses a mortgage payment.
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