The Joys Of Clipping Coupons

While a newspaper is delivered every day, the Sunday paper is a very special one. It is twice the size of a weekday paper. It documents the tales of the absurd, the mundane and the in between. (On a Monday, you may not read about Mrs. Golden’s tap-dancing cat, Loopy. Sunday morning, she’ll be featured on the front page.) The comics are in color, saving their formal black and white attire for the non “S” days. Every area chain store puts their flyer into the fold, trying to entice you to “buy, buy, buy.” While all this is impressive, you don’t purchase the Sunday paper for the news or the sales. You buy it for the coupons.

On a magical week, you’ll find four or more coupon booklets hidden under the flyers. Providing it’s just a good week, you’ll only find two. If it’s a so/so week, you’ll get a pitiful one. You’ll see a grown man cry on a bad week for there are no coupons to be found. Thanks to our economy, coupons have become our new best friends.

Flipping through the coupons, scissors in hand, your eyes are scanning the pages, looking for the Holy Grail aka a “free trial” item. On this rare occasion, you slowly cut along the dotted lines. You don’t want to slip and damage the bar code. This is a precious item. Once safely snipped, you file it in the front of your coupon pouch. For extra measure, you mark its expiration date on your calendar. You can’t let this free item be missed!

What is this you see? A dollar off coupon on walnuts? Wonderful! While you are so allergic to walnuts that just touching one makes your throat close up, you still cut it out. A dollar is a dollar. You might buy a bag just to use your coupon. (People always say you need to face your fears head on. Perhaps the same idea goes for allergies?) You might let it expire. You are a wild person. You clip away.

Bummer! You see a coupon for a product you do use, but it’s off of four. Why would a company put out twenty cent coupons off of four three-dollar items? Which member of their advertising staff thought this was a good, generous idea? Even though it’s a joke of a deal, you cut it out. You may lose your grip on reality one day and splurge on twelve dollars' worth of bathroom spray. A local retailer may have a sale and this coupon could come in handy. What would you do with four bottles though? You place the coupon into your pouch and begin your search for a coupon for Mexican food.

In “these uncertain times” when our economy is bleak and going without is the latest trend, coupons are more valuable now than ever. For the people who used to tease us for being thrifty and for “wasting” our time clipping coupons, who's laughing now? We’ll use our coupons proudly as you deeply reach into your pocket for a dime.