Today I sold a funnel

The Norpro 607 Extra Wide Plastic Funnel. Bask in its' majesty.
The Norpro 607 Extra Wide Plastic Funnel. Bask in its' majesty.

Thank you, Amazon

From a universe of products available via Amazon.com, someone bought a funnel.

It's a happy day for them because the funnel is green and BPA free. I share in their joy. Should they choose to keep the funnel I stand to increase my fortune by $.12. Three more such sales and I can buy a First Class US Postage stamp.

Yes, indeedy.
Yes, indeedy.
This could also be you. Plenty of funnels are available.
This could also be you. Plenty of funnels are available.

How did this happen?

Literally hundreds of 'product hubs' emanated from my fingers. None of them included a funnel, to the best of my recollection.

For the most part no one visits these hubs. I gave the world a hand-crafted 5000 word hub on football and related products: 108 hits after 1.5 years of free online availability. Sigh.

I'm not going to link to my product hubs here because the HubLords will smack me down. You can find hub after hub of products and related genuine original accompanying text by browsing to the bottom of this fine composition and looking for "Next" and "Previous."

Some product hubs I have written about

No one knows they exist, but now you do. You're welcome. I can't link to them due to HubPages ground rules.

  • Buy Happiness on eBay
  • Buy a Star Online
  • Buy Survival
  • Ink Pens: Buy Ink Pens Online
  • Best Car Tools
  • Buy File Folders
  • Buy Tape Online

More of my product hubs. For your entertainment and enjoyment.
More of my product hubs. For your entertainment and enjoyment.

They weren't looking for a funnel

Since I didn't write about funnels or feature funnels in Amazon capsules, my mystery buyer started out with something else in mind. We'll never know. That kind of metric would be very useful to budding Internet Millionaires such as me.

I spend my days guessing what nameless faceless customers might be yearning for, then composing hubs featuring those products. It went well for a very brief time: I made the minimum Amazon payout very quickly. Shortly thereafter I experienced the dismal downhill slide to a point wherein I celebrate the sale of a single green funnel.

This is not good for anyone.
This is not good for anyone.

Shipping, they do need shipping

You can't download a funnel. It must be physically transferred via one of our public or private logistical support companies. I suspect that boxing, sealing, addressing, and shipping the funnel costs as much as the actual product.

Of course, order enough items and Amazon will ship everything for free. There's always a silver lining when you want a green funnel.

Who is Norpro?

They make high quality kitchenware. They predate the Food Channel. They also predate cable TV.

They will sell you plastic funnels and silicone funnels and stainless steel funnels. Some of them are built into pitchers or have strainers built into them. It's all stuff that Rachel Ray would love to get for her birthday. Here is their web site, but unless you are a wholesaler you should source the funnels from Amazon. I like that distribution structure: they are not competing with their retail channels.

Check out the Norpro line of Rainbow Wood bowls and accessories. They represent the epitome of coolness at mealtime. Even oatmeal wold be interesting.

Are you making money with Amazon?

I hope you are profiting. I hope you read this from your palatial estate with a fruity drink in one hand and a wireless mouse in the other. I trust that gentle tropical breezes waft scents of freshly cooked lobster into your professionally manicured nostrils. Expect no jealously on my part.

Perhaps you could share your secret with me and my funnel empire. I won't tell anyone and I don't even eat lobster.

Where do I go from here?

After selling a green Norpro funnel, anything is possible. My mind is a swirling vortex of creative possibilities. Somehow there must be a way to connect Amazon and eBay products with creative original hand-crafted text and make people buy stuff.

Everyone is buying stuff already: they may as well come in through my splendorous hubs on their way to sites that actually sell something. I'm not maintaining an inventory but I am offering a wonderful gateway into online shopping.

Take this handy poll

Writing Amazon Product Hubs is a:

  • waste of time
  • way to fame and fortune
  • way to just fortune
  • way to just fame
See results without voting

More by this Author


Comments 27 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

I share your pain, nicomp, but you are one funnel ahead of me, m'dear.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: "Write product hubs", they said. "Create a residual income stream", they said.

Posh.


Insane Mundane profile image

Insane Mundane 3 years ago from Earth

My gawd! I've heard of selling products from Amazon like Fake Dog Poop, Talking Toilet Paper Spindles and the bizarre product called "Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer" before, but never a freakin' funnel! Good grief, you may very well be the Amazon Associates' Affiliate of the Year!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Insane Mundane: Do I get to keep the funnel?


Fortadam profile image

Fortadam 3 years ago from Portland Oregon

I have never intentionally set out to write a hub to sell Amazon products on. However, I do have a few hubs that have some Amazon modules in them - and surprisingly they have sold a grand total of $56.78 in my 2 orbits around the sun here at HubPages.

And I'd say about HALF of the items people have bought that I get credit for are nothing related to my Hubs ... just the luck of the draw really.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Fortadam : Write a hub when you make the minimum payout!


Writer Fox profile image

Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

Don't be too optimistic. Products do get returned. But, if this one doesn't, you should probably write a Hub selling green plastic funnels.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Writer Fox : Indeed, I have seen my Internet Fortune reduced when items were returned. That 12 cents has not yet been allocated.

I may not write any more hubs: this week my overall hit count has dropped to a terribly low number. It's been a trend over the past few years and it hardly seems worthwhile to write stuff that only you and I read.


Insane Mundane profile image

Insane Mundane 3 years ago from Earth

Well, at least 4 or 5 of us still read your hubs.

Actually, I've only read a small sample, but they are always entertaining.

Oh, what I was going to say is that you basically have an empire of Hubs, so it's hard to imagine you with low traffic, unless you are comparing it to the high traffic days this site once had. But yeah, I can understand not wanting to. I moved what all I have wrote here a long while back, and I mainly just visit this site for, uh, hell I don't know... cheap entertainment?


Writer Fox profile image

Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

That's not true. Three other people read this, too.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Insane: My traffic is now stupidly low and it's been trending downward for years. I blame HubPages for capriciously imposing the NOINDEX tag but as I always say, it's their sandbox and they can make the rules.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Writer Fox : three more readers! As they say in public school, "everybody counts."


Insane Mundane profile image

Insane Mundane 3 years ago from Earth

Hey, Nicomp, you'd make a killing over at Bubblews.com The payout is 25 dollars and I'm currently at 8 dollars without even putting in very much effort at all. I'll try to let you know (I guess I'll tell you via Hub?) if they actually pay out or not, when I reach my 25 dollar mark.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Insane: Good luck getting paid.


Insane Mundane profile image

Insane Mundane 3 years ago from Earth

I haven't messed with that site much lately the last couple of days, but I'm getting close to 10 dollars on there. Personally, I think Bubblews is one of the most asinine places I've ever seen on the web. It harbors imbecilic dolts that couldn't write their way out of 3rd grade. I'm just curious if they pay, but I must say, the majority of the time I'm on that site I feel like a college student going back to elementary school. In fact, the lack of brains is almost entertaining over there at Bubblews, which you may need to check out just for a cheap laugh.


Insane Mundane profile image

Insane Mundane 3 years ago from Earth

Oh, I just wrote a Hub about that site. I look forward to your response on that particular write-up. Thanks in advance... ;)


Funnel Man 2 years ago

I hope you sell more funnels.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Funnel Man, I agree. Thanks for stopping by.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 16 months ago

Nicomp - wrong funnel - you need a sales funnel not a funnel sale! Hee hee


nicomp profile image

nicomp 16 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

Dog, nice to hear from you. I have nothing to be funneled. Only 25 hits a day and over 700 hubs. sigh!


MG Seltzer profile image

MG Seltzer 14 months ago from South Portland, Maine

Thanks for sharing your experience! Great title, loved "They weren't looking for a funnel." I'm new to HubPages and it's helpful to see how product hubs do and don't work.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 14 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

MG Seltzer : Thanks for stopping by. In my opinion the product hubs don't work at all.


MG Seltzer profile image

MG Seltzer 14 months ago from South Portland, Maine

If you could improve the system so it worked better, what steps would you take? I think the best solutions come from the users, don't you?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 14 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

MG Seltzer : HubPages is obsessed with rules as imposed by Google, all in the name of 'good' content. When I wrote (hundreds) of product hubs they were fine. Then the rules changed and they were saddled with the NOINDEX tag. On this site they use the same nebulous and vague style of guidelines that Google uses so you can't know exactly why you were punished. Read my screed on "spammy elements."


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 14 months ago

I got funnelled again - to this hub via hubpages notification! Great fun riding the funnels on the net in my spare time!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 14 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

psychicdog.net : Scary, it is, is oodles of worldwide folks receiving notifications when I post a message like this. Exactly like this.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 14 months ago

Funnel Power - you have a lot of it Nicomp when you post a comment. Feel the force and don't be not silly billy!

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