Why Your Retirement Could Be Scarier Than An Invasion of Brain Eating Space Alien Zombies

If one of those Zombies does take a chunk out of your brain, all your worries are over.

If you are an average American, you will likely worry about your retirement until you die.

Counting on Social Security

Have you ever been walking down a street and had a man stop you and offer to give you money? He says: I am going into that cat-house over there and I don't want the girls to steal my wallet. Can you hold it for a minute?

If you have been around the block a few times or even if you just have common sense, you know a scam is coming and at the end of it you will lose what little money you have, and possibly your freedom and maybe even your life.

Counting on social security is not quite that bad but it's close. Congress already spent your social security money buying your votes. Your votes were expensive. There is nothing left but IOUs in the social security fund. Unless you are already getting social security it might as well be a ponzi scheme with you left holding the bag. Its really little different than if you gave Bernie Madoff your money to invest. The one big difference is that Bernie is in jail. The government can lie to you repeatedly and the only punishment they get is your happily voting them in again come election time. Congratulations you've bought a government!





Retirement Planning

What is Your Retirement Plan?

  • Live with friends
  • Live with relatives
  • Live in the street
  • Live in a homeless shelter
  • Retire to a third world country
  • Become a zombie and get my brains for free!
  • Become an NSA spy and threaten inviduals and nations with exposure for a living
  • Investments
  • My house
  • 401K, IRA, Roth
  • My job offers a retirement plan.
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You Counted on the Stock Market

A lot of us have a lot riding on the stock market. Have you considered what will happen when all the baby boomers try to sell their stocks and bonds to pay for their retirement at the same time? Have you ever heard of the law of supply and demand? If everybody wants to sell their stocks, who will buy?

The same can be true of investments in gold, silver, commodities or whatever. If in fact, many if not most of the baby boomers try to unload their investments at the same time, your stocks could be worth nothing.



Depending on Employer

There used to be many a workplace that had retirement plans. There aren't anymore. And now, as soon as any company gets into financial difficulty the first thing they do is look to unload their pensions. The second thing they look to do is to unload their health care obligations. If you thought it was impossible for a company to break the promises they made to you when you were a young stud, you may be in for a rude awakening.

Even military retirees with government benefits are finding that some of those benefits may be at risk. Since government almost never pays their own bills, sooner or later, someone has to fork over the cash. When the borrowing and printing of money no longer works, they can still go after pensions and benefits of retirees--and they will.


Living Off Your House

So your big retirement plan was to sell your house and live off the proceeds. Suppose many other baby boomers have the same plan. Who will buy all those houses?

Retiring to the Third World

If you have any money coming in from anything at all it can seem a dream come true to retire to some third world dung heap and live on top of the heap!

Well, that can work if you are in good health. If you get sick, you are in a third world nation with third world nation medical care.

It can work if the country you've moved to has stable economics and politics. If the youth of that country decide that having all those gringos treat them as slave labor is not in their best interest, you could be in trouble my friend.

Also, in some countries they have kidnap gangs. The gangs don't known that neither you nor your family are rich. Now what will they do with you when they find out you aren't worth any money?




Eat, Drink and Be Merry!

You smoked, and drank and ate what you wanted when you wanted when you were young. And in your old age you can not even walk across the room without breathing hard. And something hurts all the time. Something serious. And, because of the decisions you didn't make when you were young, or the bad decisions you did make when you were young, you are still expected to work even though you are old and sick. Everyone is always passing your slow butt as you hobble into work, hobble to the bathroom, hobble back to your desk, hobble to lunch, and then hobble home. Behind your back coworkers half your age wonder why they keep you on. The youngsters wonder that out of ignorance. They actually don't know anything about your work performance. And actually your work is pretty good since you were clever enough to pick up on and take notes on every trick that you ever came across to make work easier and faster. So you actually do a good job--when you are not taking sick days or visiting the doctor...

Have You No Shame?

If you are a shameless person then you can use the occasion of your bad judgement to move in with any friend or relative who will have you. The trick is wear out your welcome in one place and then move to another. Make sure to have lots of friends and relatives. You need to have so many of both that when it is time to start over and move in again with those who threw you out before, they no longer remember what a pain in the butt it was to live with a lazy, good for nothing slacker like you, who complains about food, clothing and lodging that you get for free.

26 comments

poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Karen, you appear to have matters well in hand.


Francesca27 profile image

Francesca27 2 years ago from Hub Page

So true, so sad...thanks for the reminder.


CreeViking profile image

CreeViking 2 years ago from Rural Canada

I appreciate the desire to save but at the same time one must also manage debt load before retirement. You should have virtually no debt when you retire. Retirement isn't all about saving money although that's important too. If I may take this opportunity to plug my own hub regarding retirement ....


Suzanne Day profile image

Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Pretty scary stuff - there's not a lot of options for retiring without security. Voted interesting.


Sherry Hewins profile image

Sherry Hewins 2 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

Yeah, I don't know. If the zombie doesn't get me maybe I'll get shot or something.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Sherry if the Zombies learn to shoot we are all in trouble!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

Ouch! Scary really--


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Thanks for getting scared Audrey!


lindacee profile image

lindacee 2 years ago from Southern Arizona

My retirement plan sucks. Kudos to those who planned wisely. Third world, here I come. Bring on the zombies!


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago Author

Well Lindacee, they say there's never a zombie around when you need one...


cinderella14 profile image

cinderella14 2 years ago from Philippines

Thank you for the great thoughts share on this hub about retirement. I have availed of a retirement package from the two biggest companies in our country. One which is available for government employees which I am one and the other for private employee which I was once. Although there is no hundred percent assurance still it is good to try to wait for the result.


DeborahDian profile image

DeborahDian 22 months ago from Orange County, California

Far too many are refusing to do serious retirement planning. Many of them will end up on some form of welfare or Supplemental Security and get food stamps. At least they won't starve, but they won't be having a lot of fun, either. For those who want help, I write a blog called baby-boomer-retirement . com.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 22 months ago Author

DeborahDian looks like you have done a lot of work on that blog!


Elsie Hagley profile image

Elsie Hagley 22 months ago from New Zealand

Interesting article. Haven't made any plans yet to retire. My husband and I have been farming all our life, both of us in our seventies and haven't thought about it, still feeling young and able to do a good days work, just need a little more rest during the day than we did when younger, especially these very hot summer days we are having in New Zealand.

All the best to you for 2015.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 22 months ago Author

Karen, it looks like the website could help people think about some things they should consider.

Elsie, some say that we used to live longer and healthier when all got our food and exercise in more natural ways. On the other hand I have heard that the average longevity is getting longer so there may be many factors at play like decreases in disease spreading practices.


MDavisatTIERS profile image

MDavisatTIERS 22 months ago from Georgia

Good afternoon poetryman; should have seen this about 20 years ago. It is difficult, but not impossible to reinvent and readjust our living standards on a fixed income. However, for all those under (whatever magic age) - pay down debt, save, and realize that filling up that big house with stuff, means you'll get pennies on the dollar when you have to unload it and downsize...just saying. ~Marilyn


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 22 months ago Author

Sounds like sage advice Marilyn. The experts say we should live below our means to make our means last!


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 22 months ago Author

Well said Karen!


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 22 months ago from Philippines

Many foreigners like to live in the Philippines because their retirement funds go far. They can buy a house, maids, and pretty much go on trips here and there with other groups of expats and their Filipina wives. The issue however, is love and family. If you married your Filipina wife in the US and have a committed relationship, there will be family and relatives who will cover your back. If you meet and marry your wife late in life in the Philippines, choose wisely. You want a woman who will love you, not use you. That being the case, a good life here can be a very good life, indeed. We have excellent health services if you live in Metro Manila or Cebu. Otherwise, don't count on good health service if you live in a small province.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 22 months ago Author

Grand Old Lady the Philippines seem to be a beautiful place. Many Filipina women seem to age gracefully. In some cultures women get fatter as they grow older but Filipinas seem to stay lovely and slender as they age.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 19 months ago

You mentioned selling the home and live on the proceeds. Impossible, rent (if that is what you would do) is triple the cost of a mortgage. To go to another country, no, not for me.

If someone asked me to hold money for them for any reason, I would just tell them "they tell me I was born at night, but it was not last night"

Voted up, UI and shared.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 19 months ago Author

Thanks for the vote Shyron! Your points were well made. The trick as I understand it is to sell a house in California and move to Oklahoma or Kentucky. The difference in the standard of living can at least keep you going for awhile.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 19 months ago from Houston, Texas

Or sell a house in NY or California and move to Texas. Relatively good buys here on real estate and the job market is better than most. Scary scenario you painted for the average person who has not started saving money regularly from their early days going forward.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 19 months ago Author

Hello Peggy. As near as I can tell some folks believe the next generation will pay the piper and they can count on the government bailing out this generation. We have some cities around the country going bankrupt. I would imagine that some pension funds and other organizations will be strapped for cash at some point. Some folks believe that the government will come and bail them out no matter what they do.


aesta1 profile image

aesta1 11 months ago from Ontario, Canada

Choosing a place to retire is now part of our dilemma. We know of very good facilities in other countries but to have top services, you have to pay top dollars. Some places in the U.S. offer much better value.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 11 months ago Author

Thanks for dropping by Mary. If I were a little more adventurous, I would like to try some exotic place like Costa Rica to retire.

Have a blessed Christmas.

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