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Something bad could happen. Something bad will probably happen before something really good happens. It's easy to prepare for the good times: stock up on Pringles and Gatorade, then kick back and wait for the good times to roll. On the other hand, staying prepared for badness involves ordering copious amounts of survival gear from reputable sources. We're here to help.

Look no further for online sources of survival equipment, food, and shelter. Remain ready to survive, regardless of what might happen just over the horizon. Evil lurks at virtually every turn. Keep your larder stocked with emergency food, keep your fallout shelter packed with clean water, and keep your lead-acid batteries fully charged at all times. While you're waiting for the world to collapse upon itself, browse our list of quality products guaranteed to enhance survival possibilities. Order up some gear before the infrastructure dissolves and your credit card doesn't work any more.

No one survives like Bear Grylls .
No one survives like Bear Grylls . | Source

Bear Grylls Survival Series Ultimate Kit

Bear Grylls is the guy on TV who survives for a living. He gets paid to eat bugs and slog through swamps replete with alligators and really nasty mosquitoes while Gatorade-slupring and Pringles-munching camera crews chronicle his exploits. The guy can handle himself in any survivable situation.

This survival pack is guaranteed to contain Bear Grylls' Priorities of Survival pocket guide as well as impressive gizmos that will make you the envy of every other apocalyptic survivor. Handling yourself in dicey situations involving hungry predators could not be easier when an Ultimate Kit is tucked into the glove box of your Prius.

No one survives without a knife.
No one survives without a knife. | Source

United Cutlery Bush Master Survival Knife

A sharpened sliver of steel with a nonslip handle ranks as one of the top 100 items of survival gear. A simple trip to the mailbox these days poses significant risk unless one wields such gear. United Cutlery may be well known for steak knives, but lions, tigers, and bears will also stand aside when they see you striding through the shrubbery clutching a Bush Master Survival Knife.

Expect no quarter from nature, and give none yourself. Stow one of these cutting devices in every nook of your Humvee. You don't have to be a Boy Scout to be this well prepared.

Quiet reading by the light of the apocalypse.
Quiet reading by the light of the apocalypse. | Source

Emergency Food Storage & Survival Handbook: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Your Family Safe in a Crisis

Selecting reading material is inconvenient when the world is ending. Stock up on books intended to make your escape into the hills a little more sustainable. This tome documents everything necessary to hold your loved ones together when everything else falls apart. Learn the secrets of family togetherness under duress more extreme than consecutive soccer games on a Saturday Morning.

sleeping bag in a bag.
sleeping bag in a bag. | Source

Emergency Sleeping Bag, Survival Bag, Emergency ZoneĀ® Brand, Reflective Blanket

You gotta sleep. Even if the world should begin to end, everyone needs a few hours of shuteye. You may find yourself tucked beneath a deserted cliff face or hunkered down inside your custom-built fallout shelter, but sleep will eventually come. Keep yourself toasty warm with this ingenious bag of sleeping. Simply unroll it and climb inside: reflective metallic cladding will make you feel like a salmon on a backyard grill, without the lemon juice.

Helpful Survival Tip: You don't need to be in an emergency situation to deploy this sleeping accoutrement. It's stylish any time of the year.

We all need emergency water.
We all need emergency water. | Source

Aquamira Frontier Emergency Water Filter System

You're going to get thirsty. Starbucks will probably be closed or overtaken by zombie hordes. Expect to provide your own clean healthy filtered organic liquid water. Running it through your socks might work on TV, but in real life that's a quick to the ER, which will obviously be closed or overrun with zombie attack victims.

Make your own water with this handy kit. Each unit filters about 20 gallons of water and weighs less than one ounce. No one wants be slowed down by overly heavy filtration devices when the time comes to abandon civilization.

Some parts of a pen are tactical
Some parts of a pen are tactical | Source

Smith & Wesson SWPENMPBK Military and Police Tactical Pen

Yes, writing devices will be crucial for end-times survival, but tactical pens will do double duty as offensive weapons when not being used to sign the check at Applebee's. Don't be the only one without a tactical pen when your clan gathers around the camp fire to write letters to the Wall Street Journal. You never know who will challenge you to a really small sword fight or a calligraphy contest.

The perfect survival food.
The perfect survival food. | Source

Fritos

When the time comes to make a mad dash from Bloomfield Hills to your waiting helicopter that will ferry you to your Lear Jet which is prepped to fly to your mountain-top bunker, grab a few vital supplies and don't look back. Grab the world's perfect food, Frito's. Made from 3 of nature's fundamental building blocks (corn, oil, salt - look it up), this luscious organic superfood will remain nutritionally viable long after the Mayan calendar has expired.

If you plan to survive, do it in style.


Survive in style
Survive in style | Source

Para-Cord Survival Bracelet "Desert Camo" 9 Inch

Surviving in style requires clothing composed of paracord. Wresting a feeble existence from from a burned out inner city bereft of wireless Internet is difficult enough without improperly adorned forearms. Simply clip a few of these bracelets around your wrists for a post-apocalyptic fashion statement that will turn the heads of even the most jaded zombies. No one will turn you away from their hastily built shelter when the sun goes down and roving bands of opportunists deploy to search for caches of gasoline.

If things get really bad really fast, simply unravel the paracord bracelet to obtain a big long string of paracord, then run away from whatever is bothering you at the time.

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Comments 7 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

I can't write a long comment, nicomp, I have to hurry and order my survival bracelet. Only $1.45? Who knew?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: Only one?


GNelson profile image

GNelson 4 years ago from Florida

The most important part of survival is preparing to survive. Where will you meet your children and spouse if cell phones don't work and you can't get back to your house? If you and your family can't answer that question, you are not prepared. Looking for a family member will be some of the longest hours you will ever spend. Get perpared!


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 4 years ago

'the envy of every other apocalypse survivor' - that summed it up Nicomp - that's what we all want deep down to be!!!LOL - after the apocalypse there is going to be a lot of time for comparing each others' survival accessories etc...


Derdriu 4 years ago

Nicomp: These purchases are all necessary. But as the group's designated water filter coordinator, I plan to save money by not including the filter system and instead sticking with the distinct flavor of socks-filtered water. The group will thank me when I pass out all the paracord bracelets that I can buy instead!

Thank you, and voted up and everything else,

Derdriu


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Derdriu: be sure to stock up on survival socks.


PrepperOne 3 years ago

This is incredibly stupid and in very poor taste. Many honest people are getting ready for what happen very soon - just look around at the signs. You have insulted all the hard-working preppers who just want to provide for their families.

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