10 Positive Reasons Why I Love Getting Thrown Out of a Club
Special notice to My Followers:
The story you are about to read is strictly-fictitious. I did not go alone (or with anyone) to any club. Nor did I order any "cold one's." I simply put myself in the first-person to make this piece a bit more colorful and hopefully, interesting to the reader(s). Thanks, Kenneth
The man in the dark shirt is a bouncer
His job is to help keep order inside a highly-successful dance club. His job is fairly-easy, but on some nights a guy gets too drunk and starts to fight and after being nice to him doesn't work, the bouncer physically-escorts him to the door. In the case above, the bouncer detected that the other guy was already intoxicated and wouldn't let him enter his club to keep down problems.
I will always remember
the night like it was last night. And it probably was, but it wasn't a bad gig now that I think of it. I was alone at the time due to not having a date, so I thought I would go solo to a local bar, have a few brews and relax. It had been quite a while since I had went stag anywhere.
So I found a secluded booth, greeted by waitress and ordered a cold one and just found myself resting-up from a hectic week at work. The waitress was back in a flash and I commended her on the prompt service as she sat my beer on the table. I was tempted to ask what time she got off work, but I was too tired for any after-hours fun.
of me sitting at my secluded-table resting and my waitress, "Julie," bringing me a cold beer as if she were on a quick timetable kept on for hours into the evening--and the more beer "Julie" brought, the more I drank and that was the way my night went. What part of the night I remember.
It was not on my agenda to get intoxicated, but I was getting that way slowly and surely. I made myself a promise to just sit still, be quiet, and cease drinking the beer that "Julie" had been drinking. That worked for a little while. I was so proud of myself.
inside a police station sitting in a room with a friendly priest who was smiling as he was pouring me a fresh, hot cup of coffee. This stunned me worse than waking up in a police station for I did not know any priests, but I knew that there was a first time for everything.
The priest's name was "Peter," but he quietly-insisted that I call him "Father Peter," so out of respect, I did as he asked and because my head was pounding like the bass drum in the Georgia Bulldogs' Marching Band. I suppose "Pete" was used to seeing people in my condition, but he was not upset. He just kept smiling and pouring that great-tasting coffee.
As I sobered-up, "Peter" and I chatted about several topics--church, drinking, women, mostly why some women are loose, work and more talk of church. That seemed to be "Peter's" favorite topic.'
"Son, may I ask you why you got yourself thrown out of that club?" "Peter" asked out of giving-in to his own curiosity.
"I enjoyed it, 'Father Peter," I quickly replied as I watched his face grow wide with awe.
"You enjoyed it?" he replied.
"Yes, 'Peter,' I enjoyed it," I said. "Now if you do not mind, just let me explain to you in . . .
10 Positive Reasons Why I Love Getting Thrown Out of a Club
- Bouncers are not really bad guys at heart. While I am getting thrown-out from a club, I am engaging in a conversation with them and they like that. And I figure that each time I go back into that same club and drink too much, these same bouncers will take it easy on me--maybe give me a ride home.
- The status-boost I get from being tossed from a club is tremendous. The bar crowd always loves a "rebel," and I kinda favor the late James Dean, so it balances out. And if some of these same people are in this bar when I go back, they always insist on buying me a drink to celebrate my being a non-conformist.
- I get some great exercise and toning to my body as I am being picked-up by the bouncers and then flying like a bird for a few feet then hitting and rolling on the ground. Hey, after a few times of being thrown from a club, it doesn't hurt all that much.
- It's a kick for me to see the terror on innocent bystanders' faces as they see me coming right for them in the air.
- I like being thrown out of a bar for the local news is always there looking for a story for the ten o' clock news. I was on the news twice, then the news crew said that a third time would be too repetitive. But those first two times was more fun than the roller coaster at Six Flags.
- One time when I was being thrown-out of that bar, instead of hitting innocent bystanders, I manged to hit a major drug dealer about to make a big score, but he saw me flying at him and thought I was a narcotics agent and set off to running.
- As a child I loved Superman on television and in comic books, so at least for a few minutes I can really say, "up, up and away."
- The people at Guinness World Records told me that I was nearing the world's record for being thrown out of the same bar for a record-number of times.
- The owner of the bar loves for me to get thrown out so I can tell the big crowd that gathers outside to watch me burst the sidewalk wide-open that they should come inside and have a drink. It's like free advertising for him and the bar.
- Around town, I am becoming somewhat of a local celebrity. I was having lunch at the local Dairy Queen last Friday and a customer yelled, "Hey, you are that fool that gets thrown out of the same bar all of the time." I blushed and then humbly thanked him.
Oh, I did think about getting thrown into jail a lot of times, but frankly, that would be way too silly for me to do.
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