10 Positive Reasons Why I Love Getting Thrown Out of a Club

Special notice to My Followers:

The story you are about to read is strictly-fictitious. I did not go alone (or with anyone) to any club. Nor did I order any "cold one's." I simply put myself in the first-person to make this piece a bit more colorful and hopefully, interesting to the reader(s). Thanks, Kenneth

The man in the dark shirt is a bouncer

His job is to help keep order inside a highly-successful dance club. His job is fairly-easy, but on some nights a guy gets too drunk and starts to fight and after being nice to him doesn't work, the bouncer physically-escorts him to the door. In the case above, the bouncer detected that the other guy was already intoxicated and wouldn't let him enter his club to keep down problems.

I will always remember

the night like it was last night. And it probably was, but it wasn't a bad gig now that I think of it. I was alone at the time due to not having a date, so I thought I would go solo to a local bar, have a few brews and relax. It had been quite a while since I had went stag anywhere.

So I found a secluded booth, greeted by waitress and ordered a cold one and just found myself resting-up from a hectic week at work. The waitress was back in a flash and I commended her on the prompt service as she sat my beer on the table. I was tempted to ask what time she got off work, but I was too tired for any after-hours fun.

Source

This process

of me sitting at my secluded-table resting and my waitress, "Julie," bringing me a cold beer as if she were on a quick timetable kept on for hours into the evening--and the more beer "Julie" brought, the more I drank and that was the way my night went. What part of the night I remember.

It was not on my agenda to get intoxicated, but I was getting that way slowly and surely. I made myself a promise to just sit still, be quiet, and cease drinking the beer that "Julie" had been drinking. That worked for a little while. I was so proud of myself.

Police warns people drinking to not try to get back into the bar.
Police warns people drinking to not try to get back into the bar. | Source
Bouncer makes sure this person does not get hurt while drinking.
Bouncer makes sure this person does not get hurt while drinking. | Source
Bouncer knocks troublemaker out cold.
Bouncer knocks troublemaker out cold.
Bouncer keeps drinking guy company until the cops arrive.
Bouncer keeps drinking guy company until the cops arrive. | Source
This bouncer detects that the bald man is carrying a fake I.D.
This bouncer detects that the bald man is carrying a fake I.D.
Girl gets escorted out of a bar.
Girl gets escorted out of a bar. | Source
After you get thrown out of a bar, this is your next option.
After you get thrown out of a bar, this is your next option.
If you are going to party at a bar, you do not mess with these guys.
If you are going to party at a bar, you do not mess with these guys.

I awoke

inside a police station sitting in a room with a friendly priest who was smiling as he was pouring me a fresh, hot cup of coffee. This stunned me worse than waking up in a police station for I did not know any priests, but I knew that there was a first time for everything.

The priest's name was "Peter," but he quietly-insisted that I call him "Father Peter," so out of respect, I did as he asked and because my head was pounding like the bass drum in the Georgia Bulldogs' Marching Band. I suppose "Pete" was used to seeing people in my condition, but he was not upset. He just kept smiling and pouring that great-tasting coffee.

As I sobered-up, "Peter" and I chatted about several topics--church, drinking, women, mostly why some women are loose, work and more talk of church. That seemed to be "Peter's" favorite topic.'

"Son, may I ask you why you got yourself thrown out of that club?" "Peter" asked out of giving-in to his own curiosity.

"I enjoyed it, 'Father Peter," I quickly replied as I watched his face grow wide with awe.

"You enjoyed it?" he replied.

"Yes, 'Peter,' I enjoyed it," I said. "Now if you do not mind, just let me explain to you in . . .

10 Positive Reasons Why I Love Getting Thrown Out of a Club

  1. Bouncers are not really bad guys at heart. While I am getting thrown-out from a club, I am engaging in a conversation with them and they like that. And I figure that each time I go back into that same club and drink too much, these same bouncers will take it easy on me--maybe give me a ride home.
  2. The status-boost I get from being tossed from a club is tremendous. The bar crowd always loves a "rebel," and I kinda favor the late James Dean, so it balances out. And if some of these same people are in this bar when I go back, they always insist on buying me a drink to celebrate my being a non-conformist.
  3. I get some great exercise and toning to my body as I am being picked-up by the bouncers and then flying like a bird for a few feet then hitting and rolling on the ground. Hey, after a few times of being thrown from a club, it doesn't hurt all that much.
  4. It's a kick for me to see the terror on innocent bystanders' faces as they see me coming right for them in the air.
  5. I like being thrown out of a bar for the local news is always there looking for a story for the ten o' clock news. I was on the news twice, then the news crew said that a third time would be too repetitive. But those first two times was more fun than the roller coaster at Six Flags.
  6. One time when I was being thrown-out of that bar, instead of hitting innocent bystanders, I manged to hit a major drug dealer about to make a big score, but he saw me flying at him and thought I was a narcotics agent and set off to running.
  7. As a child I loved Superman on television and in comic books, so at least for a few minutes I can really say, "up, up and away."
  8. The people at Guinness World Records told me that I was nearing the world's record for being thrown out of the same bar for a record-number of times.
  9. The owner of the bar loves for me to get thrown out so I can tell the big crowd that gathers outside to watch me burst the sidewalk wide-open that they should come inside and have a drink. It's like free advertising for him and the bar.
  10. Around town, I am becoming somewhat of a local celebrity. I was having lunch at the local Dairy Queen last Friday and a customer yelled, "Hey, you are that fool that gets thrown out of the same bar all of the time." I blushed and then humbly thanked him.

Oh, I did think about getting thrown into jail a lot of times, but frankly, that would be way too silly for me to do.


More by this Author


Comments 8 comments

Akriti Mattu profile image

Akriti Mattu 18 months ago from Shimla, India

This is an interesting take on the subject :D


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 18 months ago from San Diego California

I've only been bounced once but it wasn't for lack of trying.


Jennifer Mugrage profile image

Jennifer Mugrage 18 months ago from Columbus, Ohio

Fun post. "Men get thrown out of bars. REAL men get thrown out of countries." Just an idea for your next post.

One question, why all the hyphens? You put hyphens between adverb and adjective ("strictly-fictitious"), between adverb and verb ("physically-escorts"), between verb and preposition ("thrown-out"), even between adjective and noun ("secluded-table"). Why? Give the poor little guys a break already!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Akriti Mattu ,

You are very appreciated for leaving me such a great comment.

I wish you a very safe and happy weekend.

Stay in touch.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Mel Carriere,

You are one colorful and funny person.

I knew a guy once, not me mind you, who such a way about him, he would just pay his cover charge, drink a beer, shake hands with the bouncer and go lay down in the parking lot.

Wish I had interviewed him.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, Jennifer,

Wow, what a nice quote and comment.

Thank you bunches. You might be asking bunches of what? How about bunches of red roses? Okay?

I do thank you for the nice comment.

And now for the question you asked about me using hypens.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a hub and was pleased with it. That was until a hubber who shall remain nameless, gave me a free grammar lesson which included hypens and their useage.

So . . .long story short, heeded their advice. But now, I am free from all of these rules and I thank you for being friend enough to tell me.

I am free!

Did I get too dramatic?


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 17 months ago from Stillwater, OK

Sounds like you were born too late. Aren't those the things that happened in the Wild West Saloons? Then everyone forgot about it the next night, until it happened again, and so it goes.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 17 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

aviannovice,

You are right. 1953. Too early to know Elvis and too late to know jazz. Maybe I was not meant to be on earth, huh?

But . . .my friend. Thanks for your nice comment.

Stay cool and much peace to you.

Your Friend For Life,

Kenneth

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working