10 Stupid Things Done by Stupid Burglars

A number called: breaking and entering
A number called: breaking and entering
Failed burglar, Arthur Bell
Failed burglar, Arthur Bell

There's someone for every job

If we look around looking through honest eyes, we should all admit that in each area of life, there is someone always doing something and doing it very well. Bad or good, legal or illegal, they are “on the job” from sun-up until sundown. That is worth a few moments to relax and just take a long, deep breath to appreciate how simple and yet complex God created things the way they were created.

In summation, we could not eat, sleep, drive, read, sing, dance, date, marry, name it and someone either makes it, does it, and sadly, someone out there steals it. No, I am not condoning thievery or burglary. I am just stating that there are slick and successful burglars who are never suspected, questioned, or caught. They are just that good. And we as a law abiding society can like it or not like it, but this is a true fact.

Burglars caught on security tape
Burglars caught on security tape
Bad disguise
Bad disguise
Vintage burglary graphic
Vintage burglary graphic

Burglars have their place in life
In summation, we could not eat, sleep, drive, read, sing, dance, date, marry, name it and someone either makes it, does it, and sadly, someone out there steals it. No, I am not condoning thievery or burglary. I am just stating that there are slick and successful burglars who are never suspected, questioned, or caught. They are just that good. And we as a law abiding society can like it or not like it, but this is a true fact.

Now on the “flip side” of the coin, there are those burglar wannabe’s, or “nickel and dimers,” as I have heard police officers call them, who would give their next year’s worth of loot to be so good at their “job,” that they could “hit” a series of lavish homes owned by lavish billionaires, clean them out, and rest-easy for years to come in some quiet, peaceful island off the coast of Spain undisturbed and worry-free.

Thieves and burglars can dream too. And if most of these “Burglar Flops,” now in prison, had read the information below, they would now have a nice tan and speaking Spanish.

10 Stupid Mistakes

That Are Made by

Stupid Burglars

Old-time hood
Old-time hood
Vintage burglars
Vintage burglars
Tag-team safe-crackers
Tag-team safe-crackers
  1. Set-up road flares that tell other people that there is “danger ahead.”
  2. Take off their plastic gloves to ring the doorbell to see if there is anyone home.
  3. Puts a bull-horn to his lips and bellows, “Hey, you in this neighborhood! I am going to be burglarizing this house for the next half-hour, so don’t anyone make any trouble for me.”
  4. Instructs his accomplice to take a DVD movie of him in action so he can have proof of this huge theft to prove how good of a thief he is to his burglary buddies.
  5. A half-hour into the job, the senior burglar feels it’s time for a break, so he nabs a cold beer from the homeowner’s refrigerator, sits on their front porch and drinks it while people drive or walk by.
  6. Yells out of a top floor window, “Hey, Darryl! Wake up and catch this heavy box of jewelry!”
  7. Before he starts robbing the house, he, dressed in his black wardrobe including mask, stops at a house nearby and asks the homeowner when he answers the door where the address is that he is going to rob.
  8. The stupid burglar and his stupid partner, thinking they did so good at not getting caught, break-out, or rather into, the homeowner’s wine closet and get stinking drunk then passing out so the cops can have an easy job of taking them to jail.
  9. The non-thinking burglar orders take-out to be sent to the home he and his partner is robbing.
  10. Before the two burglars take-off with the loot, the senior burglar stops at a nearby home and tells the homeowner to tell the police if they arrive, that they, the burglars were not there that night.

Personally, I hope that all burglar wannabe’s keep making these stupid mistakes.

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Comments 7 comments

Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

This is the most unique hub you have created ! It shows your since of humor even when this is still a serious subject.

I have two to add ! I hope you don't mind.

Two Robbers who rob a bar while policeman were having a private party.

You know they did not make it out the door.

That actually happened in IL.

Another one was some young guys trying to rob some seniors in their gambling spot. What happened they forgot that those old guys was young guys before. They had a flash back and it did not turn out too good for the young robbers.

This happened in Indiana this year.

I am sure there is a lot more experiences !


Steel Engineer profile image

Steel Engineer 2 years ago from Kiev, Ukraine

There is a video of two men attempting to break a window with a rock. The first throws it, it rebounds, strikes him in the head, and knocks him out. Second man rounds the corner, sees first robber unconscious. Picks up rock, and repeats the same event, leaving both unconscious.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

Funny SE !


vkwok profile image

vkwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

Reading this hub was a nice way to spend my morning.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Kiss and Tales,

Thank you, DEAR Friend, for your sweet comment. I love and appreciate you very much and your two antecdotes were hilarious. Especially the one about the thugs robbing the police party.

Loved them.

Please keep in touch with me and Merry CHRISTmas.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

vkwok,

Thank you, dear friend, for your nice words. I appreciate you taking time to read and comment.

I love you very much.

Have a Merry CHRISTmas.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Steelengineer,

Thank you for the funny stories you sent me. The one with the one burglar rounding the corner hitting the glass with the rock and knocking himself out too. Now that is material for a sitcom if I have ever seen it.

I am serious.

Please have a Merry CHRISTMAS. And please keep in touch.

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