10 Things For You to do To Be a Restaurant's Favorite Diner
After eating ths Godzilla-sized burger, did this man bother to "thank" the chef or waitress?
Many is the time
I have sat in restaurants (of all types) and watched diners go in and out. Be seated, order, eat, leave a measly-tip, and go home. That's it.
To me, there is a few things definitely "wrong with this picture." And if you are regular patron of your favorite restaurant, you already know some of the things that are missing.
But I am not going to waste your valuable time. You all have lives. I am only here to advise men or women on something that I think is highly-possible:
10 Things You Can Do to Be a Restaurant's Favorite Diner:
These 10 things apply to hot girls also
REMEMBER . . .
"Being Nice Doesn't Cost. It Pays."
Which photo shows a restaurant's "Favorite Diner"?
Okay, impatient diners, here are
10 Things You Can Do to be Your Favorite Restaurant's Favorite Diner . . .
- GET TO KNOW - the restaurant staff from the employee who greets you to the cashier. I mean, get to know their husband or wife's name, kids' names, hobbies, everything you can and each time you visit "that" restaurant, ask how their families are doing and ask about them by name. That is the trick. Why? A restaurant employee likes to be considered part of the "family of man," not just a divorced young woman with two children she has to feed and working in a restaurant for it is the best she can do.
- SMILE AT EVERY EMPLOYEE - of this restaurant. Even if it kills you. Smile. No one likes to see a frown when they are working their butts off to please you in every way. Oh, yeah. There are restaurants with employees that do not care for their work or their customers, but not the people in the restaurant you frequent. Be sure to smile a non-sexual smile at the waitress who brings you the food. Believe me. These things will work.
- GET TO KNOW - the restaurant manager on a first-name basis. I mean each time you or you and your wife and kids eat at this restaurant, find the manager. Sure, it means you doing some walking, but oh how it will pay-off. Don't be overly-zealous, but simply say, "Tom, we sure enjoyed that steak dinner. Delicious. And what a great price." Shake his hand, smile and leave. If you do this enough, your name will be circulated by the manager to all of the employees that "you" are the one customer who is to get "special treatment," for you are his best advertising--as you tell your friends, coworkers, and neighbors about this guy's restaurant.
- DO NOT BE A "KNOW-IT-ALL" - When it comes to ordering your meal. Let the waitress suggest what is the best choice. If "you" come off as a "Blabbing Bob," who knows all of the menu by heart, then she will feel uncomfortable, so just make your waitress feel good about herself and take whatever she recommends. That is unless you are allergic to Korean Tree Grubs. Then quietly tell her you are allergic. Don't shout it out to the entire restaurant.
- HELP THE RESTAURANT - employee who is a little behind in clearing the booth where you will be dining. Collect the plates, silverware and glasses. The restaurant manager will not care, because you and "Tom" are close-friends, but a word of caution: Tell "Tom" to not discipline the employee because you are not hard to please. Take-up for the employee. "Tom" will see his "favorite diner," helping his employee and think even more-highly of him.
- IF YOUR WAITRESS - is really "slammed," (restaurant slang for too many customers), "you" get up and help her out by taking orders for her. Hey, you already know the menu by heart, so why not lend her a hand? And when "Tom," the manager sees you in action helping "Marilyn," a senior high school majorette, he just might not charge you for your meal. But wait. If that happens, smile, say "thanks, 'Tom,' but I had rather pay for I am helping you succeed in a business that you love." Pay your check and walk away waving at the restaurant employees. You hear later that your humbleness brought "Tom" to tears.
- IF A ROWDY CUSTOMER - has had a little too much to drink and starts acting a fool by throwing punches at men he doesn't even know, gently talk him into "taking a walk outside" with you. Then give him lots of coffee and listen to why he is drinking so heavily. You are not only saving his life, but the lives of others if he were to be dumb enough to try and drive home and you are also saving him from having a criminal record.
- DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES - complain about any part of your meal at anytime. Sure, the steak was a tad under-cooked, but maybe the chef has problems at home with his nymphomaniac wife or his kids are into drawing vulgar signs on his house, who knows? But this I do know. You complaining will put a "dent into your armor" of being that restaurant's "favorite diner," for it has been said of you, "That 'Mr. Clark, never complains about anything in our restaurant, 'Mr. Tom.'" So do not put a black splotch on your perfect record.
- ON CERTAIN OCCASIONS - buy the entire restaurant's diners' meals. I am serious. This is the mark of a "favorite diner." What better way for you to be a "living billboard," for your favorite restaurant? And do not go the cheap route and only buy diners' meals when there are only two families eating on that night. Wait until the place is packed. Then buy all of the people a meal. The title of your "Restaurant's Favorite Diner," is now within reach.
- GIVE ALL OF THE RESTAURANT EMPLOYEES - a big cash surprise bonus for no reason. I am serious. This will be "the icing on the cake" for you to be the restaurant's favorite diner. Who else would be this generous and giving to the restaurant employees? Their headquarters in Nova Scotia? No. It has to be you. Give all of them at least $100.00 in cash inside a specially-addressed envelope with their name on the front. No use waiting to announce it.
You are now your restaurant's "Favorite Diner."
"Uhhh, say, 'Mr. Clark,' I am a bit hungry, but I am low on cash."
This 17-pound lobster was bought by a customer, Don MacKenzie in this pretty girl's restaurant
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I am not a tough person, mind or body. Not that I haven't dreamed of being man-enough to survive Marine boot camp. But knowing me, I would have been dishonorably-discharged--on day one.
Yes, right now, nine myths of booze.
I cannot hide my life any longer.