11 Things to NEVER Do or Say While Princess Kate-Middleton is Talking to You
PRINCESS KATE-MIDDLETON HAS TO BE one of the world's most-beautiful women. She is a mom and another one on the way, but you could never tell it with her body that looks like she is an Olympic swimming champion--sleek, lean, and trim.
Her husband, Prince William, is a very blessed man. 99.9% of the world's red-blooded guys would love to be her husband or even her boyfriend. With that playful smile, brunette hair blowing on her silken-shoulders she easily makes any man's life worth living.
I WILL TELL YOU HERE AND NOW that there is only one lady who would rival Kate's look and feminine charms. That lady is the late Princess Diana. Kate, if she ever worried about female competition, it would have to be Diana.
Although Kate does not worry that much about her weight, shape or looks, she is always busy doing things that expand the Kingdom of Britain, but help to keep the Kingdom in a positive public light with all of the charity-works that she does. Kate-Middleton is a busy young woman for sure, but she is always seen with her electric smile, so she must be having a great time.
I WILL MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU in this self-help hub. You see, with me, there are no confusing, complex guidelines to follow or mind-blowing paperwork to worry about. It's just read and follow. How easy can it be? I am not about making your life harder, but easier.
I would have you meeting Princess Kate-Middleton when she is on a goodwill tour which goes straight through your town. Well, how can anyone resist trying to meet this real-life princess and true English royalty? You cannot, so you run like a scared deer being hunted to your local city hall to help file the paperwork that does include any criminal background if any, to Middleton's managers and men who protect her from fools and publicity-seekers.
But with you, it is different. You are hard-working, humble, and mind your own business. You have only had one traffic ticket in your 30-years of driving, but that was only a warning. So you should have a clear-shot to meeting Princess Kate for a photo to be snapped of you standing with the princess and a warm handshake from Kate that you will surely remembrer forever.
Now let's be honest. If Princess Kate does choose your application to meet and greet her, then the party begins. You, my friend, will need to get a haircut, new suit and shoes, and look every part the admiring fan of Kate so when she meets you, things will not end-up embarrassing.
So without wasting any more of your time, I am going to GIVE YOU, that's right. Give you, this list of things that if you follow them, you will instantly become of of Kate's good friends and be able to pay her a visit just about anytime you like.
Sounds pretty good, huh? Well, it should be. I do not deal in fairytales or pipe-dreams. Here are . . .
14 Things to NEVER Do or Say While Princess Kate-Middleton is Talking to You
DO NOT SAY ANY OF THESE SEVEN THINGS:
- "Hey, Princess! Want to go with me frog-gigging? The night is perfect for it!"
- "I thought you wore one of them Cinderella gowns or something."
- "You look tired, Kate. Want to ride my back so you can rest?"
- "Have you eat yet? Let's you and me have a chocolate shake and some corndogs."
- "I shake hands with you and that's it? I thought I got to kiss you on the mouth."
- "Wow, that is sweet smelling perfume you are wearing. Bet it set you back a good Two-bucks."
- "Do you like to go deer hunting over the pond where you live?"
DO NOT DO ANY OF THESE SEVEN THINGS:
- Start buck dancing like the folks up around Kentucky, Tennessee and Virginia.
- Hugging Kate-Middleton like a long, lost teddy bear and kissing her on her neck.
- Picking her up in your arms and swinging her around like a ragdoll.
- When you bow to her, do not get down on all-fours.
- Do not come into Kate's presence while eating an ice cream cone that's melting.
- Please do not try and sing her the song, "Let's Get It Started in Here."
- Do not yell to the huge crowd: "Hey, look! I got me a real, life girl!"
One more thing, my good friend: when you are called to your city hall or rec center to have your meeting with Princess Kate-Middleton, would you please sweep by my house and get me, for she owes me about $56.00 and some loose change from the last time she came to my hometown.
She never carries any money although she is very wealthy, so you will be stuck "footing the bill."
More by this Author
I never thought that much about driving instructors. But when I did think about them I knew that I had a duty to spare these hard-working Americans from stupid things people might say to them.
Everyone loves a good, old-fashioned backyard barbecue. Fun, food and good times. But there are some hidden-dangers to this "innocent" activity.
Not many fans of early television ever admit to not liking the "Andy Griffith Show." But me? I have endured a few casting miscues for as long as I can.