2012 Election Humor and Satire

Nothing like a good laugh (at taxpayer's expense.)

Heard around the pot bellies.
Heard around the pot bellies. | Source

10% of Americans approve of the job Congress is doing. And even those 10% are laughing!

2012 Political Jokes and Satire:


I used to have a job and a house.

Back then I was promised “Change.”

The job is gone, and so is the house.

Lesson: Be careful who is defining the words!.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It used to be “it depends on what the definition of ‘it’ is.”

So be careful when someone new promises to take care of “it” for you!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Barack Hussein Obama is really Irish.

You know, related to O’Brien, O’Malley, O’Rourke!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Republicans think they didn’t do the job the first time.

They are still trying to oust [Barack] Hussein [Obama]!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What we need in Washington, DC is a coalition.

The trouble is we don’t even have one alition!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

How many in Congress does it take to change a light bulb?

The answer is we don’t know, but they must have some committee funding a grant to work on the problem.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Voters would like to see “term limits” imposed,

But, while there have been lots of suggestions, some terms for Congress aren’t fit to print.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Congress needs a pet trainer.

There are just some things they shouldn’t do in the House (or in the Senate.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I wish there were more candidates running……away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I once attended a raucus caucus.

Nothing much was decided, so we decided we would all make competent congressmen!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have been voting too much.

I voted for Obama.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Some folks just don’t understand voting.

It used to be you voted as a way to tell them what to do.

Now you vote for them to tell you what to do!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It could be that starting in 2013 all our problems will be solved.

It’s more likely that all our problems will be just beginning.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If it’s the “national” debt,

Why are they trying to tell me how much of it I owe?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I finally know why we give so much aid to foreign countries:

Some day we may all want to go and live there!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I understand “home of the brave” but I wish that the president and Congress would stop thinking it's also the land of :the “free this and the free that”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Civil rights are great! But it’s really the uncivil wrongs we should be worrying about.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

By the time I find a job, I’m probably going to hate it,

because it took so long to find me!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I heard my old boss who fired me lost his job, too.

I hope he has better luck finding his than I’m having finding mine.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Some say “taxes are going down.” Some say “taxes are going up.”

I don’t like either one. I want taxes to go away!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Finding a job is like finding a bedbug.

With this economy the way it is, if you find one, you’d better start looking for another!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The race is on! So far, Productivity is getting beaten by Deductivity.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The trouble with the court system is that Supreme Court justices have been believing their titles.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I hear Congress is quietly upgrading their bomb shelter afraid that Congress will get Occupied.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

God needs a new Mother Nature. Her practice rounds of tornadoes still fell short of DC!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I don’t know which is more dangerous, Congress when it is “in session” or when it is running for election. At least when it is in session we have CSpan to keep an eye on them. Who knows what is happening when they are traveling around the country raising money for the next election!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I think Congress should have rules requiring them to show up and work. The problem has always been that Congress makes its own rules!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I hear the Bidens gave the Obamas a dog. Perhaps a boot would have been a better gift?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Obamas really need their many vacations. DC can’t be any more healthy for them than it is for the rest of the country.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

No wonder news reporting is so weak! Waiting for Congress to get its act together has put all the reporters to sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s rare now for a Senator to give a speech. These days they usually charge for them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My congressman sits on the committee that oversees the airlines. I bought him a sweatshirt that says “COACH!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Congress is proposing having an official bugler. That way at least someone’s hot air will be productive.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Romney said he hadn’t slept in his own bed for two months. I want to know whose bed was he sleeping in all that time!



Copyright 2012 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.


More by this Author


Comments 10 comments

Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

Add ons welcome. What have you heard going around, such as "Change? Change? Sure, right here in my pocket!"


Davesworld profile image

Davesworld 4 years ago from Cottage Grove, MN 55016

"Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

- Ronald Reagan


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

If you can't laugh, you cry. Thanks!


geordmc 4 years ago from Beliot, Wisconsin

Thanks for the laugh!


Michele Travis profile image

Michele Travis 4 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

Wait a minute! That was a joke? Well it is still pretty good. I liked it a lot.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

geordmc: Which one?


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

The reason why jokes about the 2012 Election fall flat is that they are all so true that people feel they have to take them seriously!


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

breakfastpop: Just like you, I prefer to laugh than cry!


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

Michele Travis: You are right, some of this humor and satire is too real to be funny, even though it is laughable that we should be in this fix.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond Author

One thing is sure about November 6, 2012: the result will be no joke.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working