A Collection of The Worst Attractions Ever Seen at a Low-Budget State Fair

Are you interested in state fairs?

At the risk of sounding asinine, as long as there have been states, there has been, at one time or another, state fairs. You are permitted to check my facts if you want, but I am pretty sure that (a) state fair has been a part of the majority of our 50 states as long as I can recall.

I am too young to actually remember being taken to our state fair for the simple reason, we never had a state fair where I lived in Hamilton, Ala., the county seat of Marion County. But take Birmingham, a scant hour and a half drive from my hometown, the folks there have a thing called The Alabama State Fair (see video at bottom) and it is a huge event for young and old alike.

I am now suddenly bothered at why the promoters and founders of The Alabama State Fair never founded this gala yearly-gathering in our state capitol of Montgomery? Maybe one day next week I will go undercover and find out why this just happened without anyone asking why.

Just what is a state fair?

• A state fair is an annual competitive and recreational gathering of a U.S. state's population, usually held in late summer or early fall. It is a larger version of a county fair, often including only exhibits or competitors that have won in their categories at the more-local county fairs.
• State fairs began in the nineteenth century for the purpose of promoting state agriculture, through competitive exhibitions of livestock and display of farm products. As the U.S. evolved from a predominantly agrarian to an industrial society in the twentieth century, modern state fairs have expanded to include carnival amusement rides and games, display of industrial products, automobile racing, and entertainment such as musical concerts. Large fairs can admit more than a million visitors over the course of a week or two. The first U.S. state fair was that of New York, held in 1841 in Syracuse, and has been held annually to the present year. The second state fair was in Detroit, Michigan, which ran from 1849 to 2009.

Source: Wikipedia

I was wrong, but not by much

Upon further review, I have now discovered that there is another annual fair that is located at the fairgrounds (Duhhhh!) at Muscle Shoals, Ala. The folks up there call their fair The West Alabama Fair. It is not as involved as The Alabama State Fair in Birmingham, but it makes the city of Muscle Shoals and the promoters a few thousand bucks in its week-long run.

Many years ago, in the late 80’s when I was interested in such things, I remember my wife, our young daughter and I spent a couple of hours at The West Alabama State Fair and man, what a time I did NOT have. Any rube could see that the games were rigged, the rides were just on the line of being safe and truthfully, I was miserable for the entire two hours. But what the heck. This time spent was for the wife and daughter, not me.

But thanks entirely to those two miserable hours, I have found myself a hub (with some considerable research) and now I am going to share it with you. I affectionately-name it . . .

A Collection of The Worst Attractions Ever Seen at a Low-Budget State Fair

Note: mind you, smaller state fair means operating on lower budgets and wit lower budgets means the games and displays are NOT considered top-notch, but barely bearable).

• The Human Skeleton Display. (Skeletons were accidentally unearthed while a big construction job was going on).
• Famous Raccoons That Appeared in Silent Films Display.
• Mutant Farm Animals Expose featuring The Cow with Nine Teats and Calf with No Head.
• The Personal Diaries of Obscure Gunfighters of The Early West Display featuring the written-feelings of Tom “One Leg Pig” Boone; Jim “April Fool” Tomston and Bill “The Slug” Lee.
• Fishing For Underwear Game.
• Spitballs Thrown by Young Politicians, Thomas Dewey, Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover.
• Guess The Number of Cow Patties Game.
• The Live Pig Biting You Endurance Contest.
• Being Hit by a Pumpkin in Your Face Dunking Contest—Win Cash if You Are Not Dunked!
• The Golf ball Toss With Your Teeth Game.
• Beat The Quicksand Sucking You Under Challenge.
• Obscure Pirates of History Display with Actual Front Teeth of Capt. William Hokey, from Portugal.
• Rocks Touched bv Elvis Presley, Roger Moore, and Gypsy Rose Lee Display.
• Survive The Rattlesnake Pit Game.
• Have Your Photo Taken With Elderly Stagehands Attraction.
• Dodge Being Shot with Muskets Game with The Shooting Talents of Real Pioneer Decendants.
• The Guess What’s In Your Colon Game.
• The Wild Hog Calling Contest.
• Survive The Attack of Wild Chickens For Cash Challenge.
• Shoes Worn by Unknown Mobsters Display.
• Animals That Do Movie Star Impressions.
• Enjoy “Mr. Mouth,” Who Can Predict The Next Words You Will Say.

Coming soon, for Your Pleasure . . .Valid Reasons Why I Need Two Weeks Off of HubPages

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