American Political Agendas Made Simple!

Political agendas in the United States may seem complicated, but they're really simple. In this article I examine conservative, moderate and liberal agendas and what they mean to you and me, as defined as 'normal' people in the world, that is, people with little real knowledge of politics except what happens to them as a result thereof.

The Conservative Agenda

The conservative agenda is to create a fearful, dependent underclass that they can use as they will to amass greater wealth for the ultra-wealthy people they serve. To create this underclass, conservatives cut taxes to multi-million-dollar corporations while they cut services to middle- and lower-income families, while simultaneously cutting back governmental regulatory agencies that are supposed to protect these same middle- and lower-class income families. In addition, they sow fear among the people by focusing their attention on an enemy, real or imagined, instead of the fact that their quality of life is rapidly declining. A war does the job very nicely. That is why conservatives are always likely to start one. All in all it works pretty well.

Conservatives are pro-gun because a well armed populace has good reason to fear its neighbor, and fear is the conservative's best friend.

The Moderate Agenda

Moderates hope to sneak into power without making too many waves. They like to agree with the majority whenever possible because they think that will make them popular, and no one will notice until it's too late that they have grabbed all the top spots in the United States Congress and are diverting all funding to their contractor and business buddies back in their home states.

Because moderates try so hard to stay under the radar of the public at large, they are only moderately successful at lining the wallets of their clients. Therefore they do not attract as much funding from the ultra-wealthy as conservatives and liberals do. They are generally nice people who don't want to harm anyone, but just want to milk the system for all the cash they can get in a peaceful, unassuming kind of way.

They are generally nice people and usually get re-elected once they sneak into office.

The Liberal Agenda

Liberals want to create a welfare state where the government decides everything you do from the way you live to the way you die. Their strategy is to maintain a good quality of life for middle- and lower-income families so that they will be complacent and not interfere as their elected officials get their personal friends and relatives high paying Washington jobs and lucrative government contracts.

Liberals are anti-gun because they are anti-fear. They are pro-apathy and pro-complacency.

Many Hollywood celebrities support the liberal agenda, because they know that happy, contented people spend more on entertainment than fearful, worried people.

So you see, the three big groups of politicians in the United States, conservatives, moderates, and liberals, all have the same agenda. They want to get your money and give it to their friends. And they all do a very, very good job indeed!

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Comments 11 comments

SiddSingh profile image

SiddSingh 7 years ago

Hi Tom,

You have explained it in very simple manner. Sounds like W was a conservative, was he? :D


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Hi Tom! You ought to have called this hub "Politics 101" !! Laugh!! I like your funky irony and how you make me laugh!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Humor is a two-edged thing, so I'm always relieved when people get my joke.

SiddSingh, yes, W is a conservative, but he is also a liberal and a socialist. He started wars, cut taxes, cut programs for the middle and lower income families, but expanded a program for the elderly at tremendous expense, and nationalized the financial industry! W. is a paradox!

Elena, I am so glad you enjoyed my primer on American politics. When I think about the political system in my country, I can either laugh or cry. Why not laugh?


foxility profile image

foxility 7 years ago

Wow... very nice. Laugh I will.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Tom is most honored by Foxility's laughter.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I think I fall into the moderate agenda, I too prefer not to let people know I am jacking them over.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Mr. Goldentoad, sir, under the radar is definitely a good place to be.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

I am such a mixture...Where's the Vodka??? Hee hee Good one Tom...G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace


The Real Tomato profile image

The Real Tomato 7 years ago

Those rats...I knew their was a reason I hated politics but I never thought maybe I would abhore a politician. Lawyers must be big campaign contributors.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

G-Ma, vodka sounds great about now, or anytime I listen to the news.

Yes, Tomato, our country is run by rats. You hit the nail right on the head!


shynsly profile image

shynsly 5 years ago from Sierra Vista, AZ

I have to admit, I started off thinking "Yup, here we go again...ugh", but by the time I got to the end, I was laughing... "LOL" indeed.

I've always thought of myself as a (political) conservative... which I thought was odd, since I hate the republicans as much as the democrats, but after reading a few other hubs by a few other gifted "hubbers" such as yourself, turns out, apparantly I'm what's referred to as a "Libertarian".

At any rate, excellent hub, and cheers to you, good Sir!

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