I'm American

I’m American.

I’m entitled to what I want, when I want it. I don’t have to work for it or earn it; I just have to want it bad enough.

I want Coca-Cola, Big Macs, and a Jesus fish on my SUV.

I’m American.

I shop at Wal-Mart. I don’t care that the crap comes from China or that it will fall apart in 2 weeks, maybe 2 years if I’m lucky.

I buy crap, eat crap, but still have to take a pill to help me crap.

I’m American.

I celebrate the Super Bowl, Saint Patrick’s Day and the 4th of July. Sports, beer, and bombs, baby!

If it doesn’t involve competition, commercialism, or capitalism, I’m not so interested.

I’m American.

I love to drive. I drive fast to impress you, slow to annoy you and recklessly in spite of you. I can’t be bothered to use my turn signal; it interrupts my cell phone conversation.

No time to meet the teacher, it’s time for soccer practice.

I’m American.

My grass is green and my food is fake. I turn the channels, constantly looking for the next thing that will define me. My soul is hungry for some other story.

I’m still waiting for the cliff notes to come out.

More by this Author

  • Silly Summer Horoscopes for Kids

    Horoscopes have been appearing in newspapers for hundreds of years. By using the Sun, the Zodiac, (which means circle of animals) and your birth date as their guide, astrologers can give you insight into how your day...

Comments 1 comment

jaimi 7 years ago

and we wonder why the rest of the world hates us....

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article