Choosing Americas next hate group to target.

Left handed, right handed, ambidextrous - which category has the most underhanded?

right handed writer
right handed writer | Source
left handed writer
left handed writer
right handed batter
right handed batter | Source

America's next target group

A whimsical view:

Hatred and bigotry in the world - It is not just a passing fad anymore.

It is growing exponentially in religion, politics and our everyday lives.

Learning to laugh in the face of adversity is its only cure.

Let's make the next target more socially acceptable.

Shall it be: Left? Right? (or Ambidextrous?)

As seen on T.V.

Finding our next target

i have not watched the news for a couple of days, my brain needed a respite from those verbose pundits that are deciding the outcome of elections, trials, and sensational news stories - way before they have all the facts.

Or maybe they are trying to influence those outcomes.

Either way, they are giving me a headache.

But, without watching the news, my mind tends to wander off on its own volition into my other realm of Sardonia (sardonicism).

So, i was thinking......

that 'we the people' need to seriously start the search for the next target group to discriminate against and profess our hatred of.

It is only a matter of time before the gay society finally obtains the same rights, freedoms, and equality as all those other decent, hard working, tax paying, compassionate and loving groups in this country.

Since i can not imaging this society without a target for hatred, we need to pick one to be next. Otherwise the news media won't have much to report on, and the religious people will need someone else to preach their hatred about and send to hell in a hand basket.

I am opting for the insidious minority group in our society, that up til now we have heard little about.

Well i am here to enlighten you and put some information out there for you to decide if these people should be the next group to go after.

I want to be the first to consider starting that campaign against people who are left handed.

They are obviously in the minority, and don't really deserve the same respect, the same rights, or the same protection under the law that right handed people enjoy.

We can make this work.

It won't be much of a stretch.

Brainwashing Kids to Hate.

The WASBASPAC

Did you know that the majority of people (the normal ones) (otherwise known as the WABASPAC community) utilize the left side of the brain to be able to write with their right hand?

That left handed minority is utilizing the 'right side' of the brain to write left handed.

This could very easily present a major problem in this society. If their way of using their brain is so different, how do we right handed people know what subversive thoughts might be lurking in the 'other' side, the 'wrong' side, of the brain.

{For those of your who don't know what the WABASPAC community is: white and black anglo-saxon protestant and catholic community.]

I don't think they should be allowed to teach our children.

Suppose there are hidden aspects on the right side of the brain that aren't present in the left side, that they could be teaching our kids about behind our backs? Without our consent, without our knowledge?

Do you really want to take that chance?

I say ban them from the class rooms!!

These people are obviously left handed. Right handed people don't act this way.

Observation is the Key

The next time you are out in public, look around you and start noticing how they act.

I think you will begin to see things that you don't want your children to learn from these deviants.

You will be able to spot them easily.

  • They wear their wrist watches on the right wrist, instead of the left.
  • And they keep their wallets in the right back pocket of their jeans.

No telling what kind of a subliminal message this sends to the kids.

I was watching for those people at the mall the other day, and i saw two left handed people walking together, they were holding hands, whispering and bumping and grinding against each other as they walked.

And yes they were male and female.

It was disgusting. Just because they were of the opposite sex, does not give them the right to display this behavior in public.

I found it quite disturbing and offensive.

As a right handed parent, i do not want my children to see these left handed people doing such vulgar displays of affection in public places.

We need to call for the government to present government grants for the study of this phenomenon.

It has gone on undetected way too long. There needs to be government supported studies done on how many criminals are actually left handed so we can prove some kind of correlation to left handedness and crime.

Also, i am quite certain that most bullies just might be left handed.

I also have certain proof that the left handed people are going to special 'training camps' to learn how to be ambidextrous.

They will be able to infiltrate the world of the right handed virtually undetected, unless we do something about it now. This is starting to really make me frightened for the safety of our future society.

I tell you - they should be the next target group.

The Coffee party movement

We need to start a grass roots "coffee party movement" to let people know about this possible threat to our society.

I think it would be easy to get the religious community to come on board also, they are losing grounds for lack of people to preach against.

I really believe that God hates left handed people.. It is the next abomination that should be written into our holy text.

I have already penciled in into mine.

Disclaimer

For the disillusioned among us:

This is a satirical piece only. - Please do not think that this was based on anything factual.

But, then.....

that really doesn't matter, at least it did not matter when we persecuted the Jews, the blacks, the Muslims, women's reproductive rights, and the gays.

If this article offends anyone, good.

Tell your friends so they can comment on it as well.

by: d.william 10/20/10

Being a hater, does not make you straighter.

© 2010 d.william

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Comments 10 comments

OpinionDuck profile image

OpinionDuck 6 years ago

You have passed satire and gone into the twilight zone.

Sorry


d.william profile image

d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/@opinionduck

It's a lonely place in the twilight zone. LOL But it makes just about as much sense as our past history of persecuting others who just happen to be different from the mainstream. thanks for your comments.


drbillfannin profile image

drbillfannin 6 years ago from Atlanta

Amusing.

Come on now, not all right wingers are as bad as that. I lean right only because there is no middle. Supposedly there is, but in reality, we can only vote left or right. Look at the congressmen who voted for ObamaCare. Many did not agree with the way that was handled, but they voted on the left anyway. Now they are back-peddling to distance themselves from it. If our representatives in government would truly vote their conscience, this could be a great country again. Both sides have pulled away from the American people into their own power play agendas.

As for the idiots who push agendas against human rights in favor of their own religious beliefs, understand where they are coming from: a delusion of deception. By fighting to force America into their narrow-minded way of living, they alienate the very people they want to help. When we decide to take it upon ourselves to decide what is best for America, things usually go to hell. This applies to the gay bashers and the moralists, but don't leave out those left leaning, self-serving, change America types who push their own vision for America. I don't want forced or government regulated healthcare or anything else. I want to choose my own path to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Anyone who doesn't agree with that and vote that way needs to move to another country. Our government was supposed to provide us freedom, not control by government or some special interest group, and I mean any special interest group that tries to deny freedom to anyone.

I am a Christian, an ordained minister, and I support everyone's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which includes gays, right-wingers, left-wingers, and yes, even left-handed people. Just don't tread on my rights.


d.william profile image

d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

drbillfannin

Thanks for commenting on my sarcasm. Your observations are correct and as usual very astute. Things will get a lot worse before they get any better.


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town

Are you getting ALL the news?

It seems to me that the Liberals are doing their share of pushing others around. These stories are in the news, now, today.....(I read them on Yahoo).

NPR fires Juan Williams because they do not like the comment he made regarding Muslims on the O'Riley show. He said (paraphasing) he felt uncomfortable on an airplane if Muslims in traditional garb boarded.

What is offensive about that? His personal truthfulness? Is it the word "garb"? Was it worth his job?

King NC........"A" resident has complained about the Christian flag, which is 1 of 11, flying above a war memorial in a PUBLIC park. The City Council removes the flag.

Come on, aren't WE allowed a voice? Aren't WE part of the PUBLIC? Is one or two or even a hundred allowed to dictate what thousands can do, say, or have?


d.william profile image

d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/@onegoodwoman

Thanks for your comments. You are taking my articles way too literally and too seriously. There is no-one that has a free pass on causing and creating problems for others in this society. The intent of this hub was to show people just how silly they look by trying to quash the rights of anyone else in this society. I figure if people can take a look at themselves and see themselves as others do, they may not be so apt to be judging and condemning others. An article such as this one is so stupid, one would be hard pressed not to see how their remarks and comments are perceived by others and hence stop doing it. I guess it is not working, huh? I don't know where it will all end, but i will continue to poke fun at society until there is some evidence that there is actually an inkling of intelligence out there after all. Please take my articles in the spirit they are meant. They are meant to provoke thought and hopefully thoughtfulness as a side effect.


OpinionDuck profile image

OpinionDuck 6 years ago

My thought is that you need a definition to define your use of the word "Rights"

Not every person's desire is a right.


d.william profile image

d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/@opinionduck

Just the basics:

The right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness as indicated by drbillfannon above and our very constitution. However for the sake of argument, everyone has an innate right to his/her own thoughts and desires. Just as one has the right to freedom of speech. It is when you start acting on those rights in a way that is offensive and harmful to others that the problem begins. You cannot deny another person's desires, just as you cannot mandate morality.


That's Right, I'm Left Right 4 years ago

Hi there,

I was born a lefty like some say.

Was forced to switch by a brainwashed Catholic teacher!

He's got no idea what he did! Yes I had a very hard time as a kid because of him.

But he didn't realize that it wasn't a choice to be Left-handed or use the right side of my brain.

What he tried to do is like trying to make a Homosexual have sex with a Woman!

So today as an adult-

I'm NOT just "ambidextrous", but I'm Left Right. I combine both Worlds without even blinking or thinking once. Some people get confuse when they spend time with me, they think I'm messing around with them (I kinda like it, it's mysterious and cool).

Some of you may not know why Left handers or people that use the right side of the brain are a THREAT to this World since power become a way of life:

- They cannot be brainwashed "easily" (while the World is almost blank now)!

- They question extremely a lot (today's

- The look at the whole picture (by the time the World is busy thinking specifically about material)!

- They don't see money as a solution to problems!

- They see the World in 3D.

- They can even use the left side brain very well (which makes it easy understanding the Right handers World)!

- They are mostly Artistic, Creative and Emotional (Music and Art, ... = Freedom).

-And many other things, ... (find out).

So if there's going to be some kind of racism (I mean openly, like the one against Muslims, Gays, Jews, Blacks, Women, Aliens, Human race, Handicapped ones, you name it...).

... It's not going to work, cause Left-handers can easily and fast infiltrate/learn how to trick the rest of the World in no time.

Just look how we since the 18-century managed using everything that were made for the Right handers, despite the control by the Churches, brainwashed neighbors and the Military!!!

*I have a kid now and he seems to be a lefty, I'm not sure*, what I'm trying say is incase he is Left handed:

Those brainwashed inhuman outsiders, better watch out, cause if anyone is to even mention a word about "left this left that" to my own Son.

Then you will know what it means to be Left handed for sure.

It's not a JOKE!!!

Peace to the World.

LR


d.william profile image

d.william 4 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

Thank your for reading and your own personal story dealing with left handed bigotry. This article was written as a spoof on the stupidity and ignorance of discrimination, intolerance, hatred and bigotry in this world. Your story makes it more valid and should show people just how silly all these negative things truly are in this world after all.

No child should be subjected to any kind of brainwashing, or led to believe they are less than perfect just because they were born different. Your son is blessed to have you for his parent.

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